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Difference between sharing and showing off
It doesn’t mean sharing our achievements or happiness is for show-off. It is really a big misconception. Sharing is just like any other fundamental value we inculcate in ourselves. It makes us happier and makes the listener feel trustworthy. It creates and nurtures good relationships.
When we share something with someone, with all our heart and enthusiasm, even the person in front of us feels special. It may be anyone you could share your happiness with. Your friends, family, neighbor, relatives, or colleagues.
What to share?
Sharing doesn’t need something big achieved or breaking news. It could be small things that we do directly or indirectly every day. It may include; Kids tell their mom what happened in school today, a couple talking to each other about how did the day spent, friends are talking to each other about their memories. Likewise, it could be anything we do, and we share it with our loved ones.
Now, this becomes the funny question, how to find ourselves when we are already lost. But this is how we find ourselves. We need to be alone to know ourselves, understand what we are, where we stand in life, where we want to move next, what our priorities are, what do we need to neglect from our life.
To make things fall into place and life on the right track, we need to give time to ourselves. And that time should be spent alone. In alone, we can find ourselves better. We get time to think for ourselves. At that moment, we don't have disruptions that let us focus on our inner "you" coherently.
Few things can help us cope with the so-called feeling of "I FEEL LOST IN LIFE."
➤ BEST MOMENTS YOU HAD
➤ SOLO TRIPS
➤ KEEP A DAILY JOURNAL
➤ LEAVE YOUR COMFORT ZONE FOR A WHILE
➤ GET YOURSELF A HOBBY
➤ LISTEN TO THE FLOW OF MIND
What gives us true happiness?
There is a huge difference between being truly happy or just making yourself believe that you are happy. When we are really happy, the smile and feelings come from within. The materialistic things that give us a few moments' satisfaction cannot be said as true happiness.
We may feel that spending time with loved ones, traveling for pleasure, getting into love relationships is happiness. But no, while doing these things, is your heart happy? You have to ask yourself these questions. When you feel these are the happiest moment, your mind should not be getting any other thought than that happiness. Your heart should be full of satisfaction. It should not be making you feel empty about any other thing.
Essence of happiness
When you say you are truly happy, you should be full of that one heavenly feeling. Your soul should be in peace and nothing else. This is called true happiness. Neither happiness come from the materialistic thing, nor from the people you are surrounded with. It is within you. You create it for yourself, and then after sharing it, you create people around you happy.
Happiness is like a consequence of the effort you have taken for it. If you want to be happy, you are supposed to be involved in that one particular thing. It brings you the real pleasure of that thing.
To make yourself happy, you need to love yourself the way you are. You need to create your own happiness, and then only you can share it.
Undoubtedly, happiness is real only when shared, but it is totally your choice to share it or not. Do not let momentary happiness trap you. It never lasts forever.
Happiness is said to be real when you shared, enjoyed it with your loved ones, and kept it as a good memory in your heart, which gives you more and more satisfaction each time you remember it.
Happiness is not real if not shared?
Well, this is not a universal truth. As we discussed, everyone has their own way of being happy. So, everyone may have their own way to celebrate their happiness or to make themselves the happiest out of that happiness. Let’s understand this with an example-
Let's understand this with an example-
There’s a guy named Ankit, who is a software engineer. He’s an introvert and hardly speaks at his workplace with anyone. He only has one friend there. Ankit got engaged with a girl, and then the next day, he told his friend about it. And then his friend told it to all their colleagues. As soon as he told everyone, everyone in the office started coming to Ankit’s desk and congratulating him.
Ankit got very awkward and angry with his friend. Ankit even told him, from today, please don’t share anything with anyone if I tell you something. I don’t like to get surrounded by people and get attention for some reason.
Yes, there are people like Ankit too. They may not like to share their happiness and sorrows with others. They are happy alone or only with the people they are comfortable with. Many reasons may be there behind it, they may not trust people, or they may have some bad experiences of the past.
Someone may be happy alone and love to keep it to themselves. So, in the case of such people, we cannot force the same meaning of happiness.
Happiness is like a consequence of the effort you have taken for it. If you want to be happy, you are supposed to be involved in that one particular thing. It brings you the real pleasure of that thing.
Let’s understand with a small story
There’s my niece, who is 7 years of age. She never eats anything alone. As soon as someone gives her something to eat, she gives a bite to everyone besides her. Now, how could we say this as happiness? Surely, we can…!!
These are good values inculcated in her, which never let her keep things to herself. It is not just about food or other things; it’s about values. She never finds herself happy alone while eating, and therefore sharing food makes her happy.
How can we share happiness?
There is a phrase if we share our happiness, it gets double, and sharing sorrows become halves. Well, this cannot be true for everyone. Someone may be insecure about sharing their happiness or sorrows with others. Introverts may not feel to talk much about things. Everyone has to choose what’s a better definition of sharing happiness and sorrows for themselves.
Sharing doesn’t mean we should share everything we feel good about with everyone. We should also be aware of what to share? And with whom to share about? For that, we need to know who is really happy for us. Who are our real ones?
Sharing sorrows is favorable.
The people with whom we feel safe about our secrets, who are compatible with our joys, and who cheer us on our attainments. Simultaneously, with the sorrows. We should be more aware while sharing our sorrows.
Sharing happiness may not harm you in any other way, but sharing sorrows do if we share it with the wrong people. Just like happiness, sorrows should also be shared with those who understand you. With those who are really empathetic towards your problem. The people who listen to your sorrows should be capable of healing you and giving you a helping hand.
“SMILING AT ONE STRANGER EVERYDAY, MAKES YOU HAPPIER. " I read it somewhere and tried it too. Generally, smiling at stranger kids makes us happy, as they smile back at us. Everyone should try this; we never know from where and how happiness would come. Maybe that one smile from an unknown one would make your day….!! It is all about how you decide to be happy and in which thing you find your happiness.
What is happiness?
What I think is, when we are extremely satisfied with our current mental state and grateful for everything we have when we find peace within us, and when we do the things with enthusiasm, and all our heart; is called HAPPINESS.
What do we misunderstand happiness with?
All we keep doing it, we keep finding happiness around us in materialistic things and forgot that real happiness is inside us. Getting a good salary, having villas, partying every weekend, and so on. There are numerous things that we consider as happiness, but they aren’t. I do not deny that these things don’t make us happy. But this is a few moments' happiness; as soon as we get used to these things, it becomes just a utility material, and we cannot deny this fact.
Why is it always said that happiness is real only when shared?
So, if we are happy alone, then it is not true happiness? No, this is not wholly correct. Being happy alone is extremely crucial. We cannot depend on others for our happiness always. Sometimes we need to find and create our happiness. But being happy alone is an entirely different thing than sharing our happiness.
YOU DON'T LEARN-
When you stop learning, you start losing. Once people get better at something or tired of something, they stop learning, and it may cause feeling useless.
YOU DON'T KNOW YOURSELF-
This is the biggest problem for us. Before we explore ourselves, we start going with the flow. Until getting yourself know fully, you cannot get the best of yourself.
And here is the too much-entertained problem of generation. We think thoroughly about the little things, make an unnecessary analysis of them, draw conclusions quickly, and therefore feeling lost, become normal.
It matters a lot whom you are surrounded with. Being around unenthusiastic people pulls you down badly. Nothing affects us more than the company we choose for ourselves.
We let our failures decide our mental health; yes, you read it right. We keep holding on to one failure that could be seen as a try. We stop trying once more and when things seem hard and impossible.
Firstly, keep a thing in mind that it is natural to feel low or down. Everyone has a time when they are like, 'I feel lost.' We need to give time to ourselves to heal and get over the things we cannot work on. Do not look for quick solutions for everything; it will create more mess. Give yourself time to explore. Learn and grow with your elegance.
6 reasons why people feel lost in their lives
This is the biggest and silliest mistake we all make in our lives. We compare ourselves with someone who is doing better in life than us. This is not the way you live. We need to fix this thing in our mind that, 'WHAT I CAN DO, NO ONE CAN' Indeed, the skills, extraordinary habits you have may no one is having.
The universe made everyone different with their pros and cons, perfections and imperfections. And therefore, we need to accept ourselves the way we are; it makes things easier and makes us grow with our grace.
2. PROFESSIONAL LIFE-
We get too involved in our daily chores, because of which we are hardly able to give time to ourselves. It can cause more exhaustion and make you feel lost in the world.
3. HOLDING ON-
As discussed before, people keep holding on to past fears and grieves, failures that don't let us be in today fully. They become conscious of things and don't let their new self come out.
Sometimes, we are completely unaware of things, and without getting complete facts, we start making assumptions that may not even exist. And then we make straightforward things complicated, which push ourselves to feel lost.
5. THINK TOO MUCH ABOUT OTHERS-
We keep pleasing people, keep thinking too much about their perceptions about us. We forget that our existence matters.
6. YOU'RE MILES AWAY FROM PRIORITIES-
This can be one of the major problems. When we are clueless about what is best for us. We are unable to set priorities and goals for ourselves. Because of this, we keep doing a bundle of things together and then can't get better at a single thing.
BEST MOMENTS YOU HAD-
Try to remember good moments, good people in your life. Watch old pictures of yours and your friends, family having fun.
This thing works like magic for people who feel lonely. Go on a solo trip. It takes you away in a completely different environment, among different people, where you can forget your worries entirely.
KEEP A DAILY JOURNAL-
I strongly recommend you keep a journal. Now don't be panicked about that; you have to write large paragraphs. NO, just write what good and satisfactory happened today before you sleep; it lets you sleep peacefully.
Or when you want to share something with someone but you can't, then write those things on the last pages (so that you couldn't glance onto it frequently once you have written; otherwise, it can disturb you again).
LEAVE YOUR COMFORT ZONE FOR A WHILE-
Don't be in the same environment for long. If you want to heal your heart, then leave the place that made you sick. And get out of your comfort zone. Try the things that you don't like to do because sometimes they keep your mind busy and away from thoughts.
GET YOURSELF A HOBBY-
Find the things you love to do. Keep doing them when you can't get rid of your thoughts. After a few times, it may keep your thoughts and feeling of loneliness away from you.
LISTEN TO THE FLOW OF MIND-
Keep yourself calm and try to listen to what your mind wants to tell you. Quiet yourself from all the other things and concentrate on the idea behind the chaos.
1. LEARN TO LET GO-
Letting go can harm you less than holding it. Do not keep holding onto things you can't work on, or your mind doesn't want to work on. Doesn't matter whether it is any thought, person, or incident. Thinking too much can't solve your problems. So better learn to leave the things as soon as possible.
2. YOU HAVE "YOU"-
The one thought everyone on this planet should be well versed with is, YOU HAVE YOU. We all often feel like I have no one, no one cares about me, no one is there to understand me, and that's the time when you should be there for yourself.
3. LOVE YOUR THIS SIDE TOO-
See, things can never be the same, and they shouldn't be. Because only when rough time elapses we can feel our good times wholeheartedly. Accept yourself with your flaws, mistakes, and weaknesses because each human on this planet has it. So, try to understand, this is just a phase of our life, which is not going to be forever.
SHARE IF YOU CAN-
If your thought is sharable, you must share. Or, if you have someone who listens and understands you from your perspective, then you should talk to them. Intermittently, situations occur when we can't find solutions all by ourselves, we must talk to these people. They may recognize our potential more than you. Or they may show you the path you completely overlooked.
It happens to many of us. We keep remembering the same incidents again and again where we were wrong. And sometimes, we cannot forgive ourselves, but we need to understand; we are humans, not machines. We make mistakes, rather everyone does. But holding onto the past and destroying the good moments of today is not worth it. So, learn to forgive yourself first; it helps to a great extent.
NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT-
Everyone reading this must understand that there is nothing wrong with feeling lost in life. Just like this phase appeared in your life, which you may not be liking. The same way things could happen the way you want. You cannot change it always. What needs time, you are supposed to give it. And let time decide what to do.
TAKE ACTIONS IF YOU BELIEVE-
When you feel, "I am lost in my thoughts, so better than thinking too much let's do it." Then do that. The things which are stopping you from taking action, forget them for a while, and do what you wanted to do. This could thoughts your mind, and that may be that thought may entirely leave your mind.
The things, people, places, occasions that disturb your peace, stay away from them. When you realize things are going to roll up in your mind the whole day, just warn your mind to let it go at the same moment. Do not entertain thoughts that disrupt your mind from being calm.
1. REGRETS ARE JUST FOR A MINUTE-
As we discussed above, some past incidents or our wrong deeds don't let us forgive ourselves. And then these things become a big picture that is regret. But never let your regrets grab your mind this much, where you cannot get over to it. We all know that memories cannot be forgotten; all we can do is left them behind.
2. WASTING TIME CAN ALSO RUIN THINGS-
When you can be productive, don't waste your time. Because sometimes, when we have nothing to do, or our mind is not busy with something; Our thoughts run at 2X speed. Try to keep your mind indulged in things you can do in your spare time.
3. STOP EXPECTING-
No matter at which stage of your life you are, take it as a red alert and stop expecting from others. No one understands you better yourself. Make an additional move than you every day do, but all by yourself. Because when people fail to meet your expectations, your peace shatters more than theirs.
4. BE PATIENT-
If it didn't work today, surely tomorrow it will. Rushing into things can make it more complex and make you feel it can't settle at all. Let things be the way they are; maybe they will find their own way. So, being patient can get you more efficient results than you thought of.
Sometimes feeling lost can help you find better you, the new you, or the version of yourself that you never met before. Do not take this feeling negatively always. Because the direction you choose for your thoughts can let you reach what you were looking for; so, make sure the direction you choose should not be harmful to yourself.
1. LONELY VS ALONE-
Alone is not lonely always: Sometimes, we baffle between these two things. When we are alone, it is chosen by us. We prefer being away from people. And lonely is when we are in sorrow because of being alone. Both the things have a slight difference between them. So, before you say you are lonely or alone, recognize it first.
2. DOING NOTHING HELPS SOMETIMES-
When we are exhausted from work or studies, we don't feel to do it anymore. That time we should keep everything away and give time to ourselves and refresh. Rushing into things can make it worse. So better do nothing for a while, and you will be ready to do everything after.
3. DISTRACT YOURSELF AT THE RIGHT TIME-
Sometimes it happens, when our thoughts reach a peak, and all pessimistic thoughts start entering our minds. It can lead us to take any wrong steps, which can harm our lives. As a human, we can recognize where we are moving. So, when it's high time, we need to distract ourselves from that thought. And then indulge yourself in doing something else even if you don't feel to do it.
4. ACCEPT IF YOU CAN'T CHANGE-
We may try to change things a lot, even it takes too much effort. But it's not possible all the time. Accepting things as they might help you more than falling again and again. When your heart says that's ok, then you must accept it the way it is.
5. DON’T QUIT-
Nothing is more important than our mental health, and we need to fix this in our minds. So never quit on things quickly; if the question has arisen, it has arisen with an answer. All we need to do is keep trying but concerning with our mental health.
It's not just you, not just me; billions of people around us feeling lost and lonely. We all have that one phase in our life where we completely feel lost. We don’t know where our life is moving. Where are we moving to, ahead or backward? We become clueless about things. No matter how big achievers we are. There's one point in everyone's life where we feel everything chaotic. Sometimes even the smallest things seem more complex, and then thoughts reach a peak.
The first thing we all need to understand is that this is not a mental problem or something to worry about. It is just a mental state that everyone feels. And there's nothing wrong with feeling down. One more thing I want to tell wholeheartedly is that; things never remain the same. Just like this chaos came, peace will also find your way.
Things to remember when you feel lost.
1. UNDERSTAND THE CHAOS-
Try to understand the chaos which is going on in your mind. Don't just tie thoughts to each other. They will entangle your mind and heart as much as you think. Try to follow the flow of thoughts where they are trying to take you.
2. BELIEVE IN THE UNIVERSE-
Nothing leads us towards the wrong place; only our thoughts do. The universe always gives us what we have asked for, may it be good or bad for you.
3. HAVE A BREAK-
Do not plunge yourself into your work forcefully. When your body and mind ask for a break, give it. Do something that will refresh you. Listening to music, take a walk, meet your friends. Plenty of small things are there, which can indulge you into another mood, which will keep you away from unnecessary thoughts.
THE LAW OF PATIENCE AND REWARD:
Nowadays, everyone expects quick rewards for what they do. Undoubtedly, we all are striving for our dreams. But only hard work doesn't get us everything. Where we are supposed to wait, we should be patient. The reward you get after a long wait gets extreme pleasure. It encourages us to hustle more.
E.g., John was looking forward to studying abroad for 2 years. But due to the COVID-19 pandemic, everything was shattered. But he decided to do the basics of his studies and entrance exam preparation at that time. And now, after 1 year, he qualified for the exam and got the scholarship in the university he always wanted.
THE LAW OF SIGNIFICANCE AND INSPIRATION:
Every recognition, appreciation we get is the result of the energy we put into something. The last karmic law says that we get rewarded, what we have worked for, hustled for. Each small contribution or move we made forward pushed us towards what we wanted.
E.g., Sid was saving from his salary for his further education. Once his father lost his job, and they didn’t have any other income source. So, Sid utilized his savings for his educational purposes.
The cycle of cause and effect is called karma. It is counted at each step we take towards something or in our daily life. Karma may have religious or psychological aspects. But our small decisions, actions, doings are also said as our karma.
Every single thing has some intention, whether for self or others. Nothing is done without any intentions, and lastly, karma is caused by some intentions and affected by its performance is defined in several ways in numerous schools. Let's understand it one by one.
It says that karma is beneficial or harmful effects derived from past actions. Its emphasis is on spreading love and peace throughout the world with our pleasant actions. In the Vedic system, it is assumed to be investments of good deeds and entrance to heaven.
Hinduism also states that we have previous lives, and now in which state we are is a result of our attainments in a previous life. Everything that you face has a reason related to your previous birth.
Buddhism gave two definitions that are karma and karmafala. It can be briefly defined as any activity driven by an intention that leads to future consequences, which will be considered in a cycle of rebirth is called 'karma.' Results or outcomes of any action are called 'karmafala.'
Jainism believes karma is physical than the spiritual aspects. It is particles fascinated to the soul by the actions of that soul.
Bhagavad Geeta is distinguished in the following four types, from which we can elaborate the karma definition more constructively.
Types of Karma in Bhagavad Geeta:
1. PRABADDHA KARMA (Matured karma)-
We cannot change the present that we are facing currently. But the actions we take can change and mold the future as we want. It means that there is still the scope for karma to be matured or make better than today.
2. SANCHITA KARMA (Stored karma)-
These are the consequences of the same actions that have been taken frequently. And because of repetition of the same actions, we face the same reactions again and not any stability at all. Here the focus is on the main idea that is not letting us change the situation.
3. AGAMI KARMA (Forthcoming karma)-
These are the reactions to actions we took in the past. We can't avoid these outcomes. This type of karma assists us to be aware of our doings in the present so that, Consequences in the future can be controlled.
4. VARTAMANA KARMA (Present karma)-
This is karma or a situation in which we are present right now. It makes you change and control your decisions and actions regularly. You can forecast the future and can take steps today to make it better.
Let's understand the law with an example: -
Neha, a college-going girl, wants to utilize her scrap time after college and study hours. She is a beginner at making sketches and wants to become a master at it. She feels to make at least half a sketch in a day in time she gets, but as soon as she reaches home from college, she sleeps, and then after doing other household chores, she doesn't feel to do anything anymore.
One day, their college announces of Interschool extra-curricular competition. Neha participates in sketch competitions without any prior practice. The moment she starts making the sketch, she finds herself clueless. At that moment, she starts regretting a lot for not practicing and not following the routine she made and quits from the competition.
So here karma comes, not any good or bad deeds of her are counted, but the actions she didn't take at the right time pushed her towards regret that can be called a reaction to it. If she would have practiced, the situation may have been far better.
We can say that the meaning of karma is that it is only the out-turn of anyone's actions. It can also be called energy that you create from your efforts and no efforts.
Bhagavad Geeta states that whatever you do never goes in vain. Each action of every human being counts. It doesn't bifurcate things as good or bad.
THE LAW OF GIVING AND HOSPITALITY:
The one more universal law of karma says that if we believe in something universe asks us to prove our potential for it. Our activities should represent our faith in that particular thing. As we discussed above, each law is interconnected. The law of focus guides us to keep the connection between our faith and practice.
LAW OF HERE AND NOW:
To be better tomorrow, than we need to focus on today. We must leave what keeps us pulling behind and be present to get the desired results we want.
E.g., Shalin always used to daydream during lectures. Since he cannot understand a single thing from lectures. It made him clueless while practicing at home and at exams too. So, to be better at what we are doing now, we need to be here today, now.
THE LAW OF CHANGE:
Bhagavad Geeta says the only thing that is constant in this world is "change." When we make ourselves adaptable for changes, we magnify ourselves for growth. The rule we can follow here is an analysis of prior mistakes, promising ourselves to repeat them, finding a new path to reach the goal. One commending change can take you up at the peak of victory.
E.g., Nikhat has been transferred to Delhi from the Mumbai project. She literally couldn’t adjust herself there for more than 2 weeks. But at saturation point, she decided that I have to be patient and work. Need to adapt to me for change, and after changing her inner attitude towards things, she found everything too easy.
Personality refers to the combination of qualities, attitude, and behavior, that makes a person distinct from others. Character refers to a set of moral and mental qualities and beliefs, that makes a person different from others.
"It’s good to have a failure when you are young because it teaches you so much. For one thing, it makes you aware that such a thing can happen to anybody, and once you’ve lived through the worst, you’re never quite as vulnerable afterward.”
- Walt Disney
Celebrate Success. Learn from Failures.
Practice self-love to believe in yourself. You love yourself and consider to be a valuable and commendable person. You have a positive opinion and judgment in your own self. Compliment yourself. Congratulate and applaud for your merits. Console if need be. But respect yourself and love more day after day
Gratitude is the positive element in you that lets you express your thankfulness for people or things. Gratitude forms an important trait as it defines your attitude. Gratitude attitude also defines who you really are, what you think you are, and what others think you are.