“SMILING AT ONE STRANGER EVERYDAY, MAKES YOU HAPPIER. " I read it somewhere and tried it too. Generally, smiling at stranger kids makes us happy, as they smile back at us. Everyone should try this; we never know from where and how happiness would come. Maybe that one smile from an unknown one would make your day….!! It is all about how you decide to be happy and in which thing you find your happiness.
What is happiness?
What I think is, when we are extremely satisfied with our current mental state and grateful for everything we have when we find peace within us, and when we do the things with enthusiasm, and all our heart; is called HAPPINESS.
What do we misunderstand happiness with?
All we keep doing it, we keep finding happiness around us in materialistic things and forgot that real happiness is inside us. Getting a good salary, having villas, partying every weekend, and so on. There are numerous things that we consider as happiness, but they aren’t. I do not deny that these things don’t make us happy. But this is a few moments' happiness; as soon as we get used to these things, it becomes just a utility material, and we cannot deny this fact.
Why is it always said that happiness is real only when shared?
So, if we are happy alone, then it is not true happiness? No, this is not wholly correct. Being happy alone is extremely crucial. We cannot depend on others for our happiness always. Sometimes we need to find and create our happiness. But being happy alone is an entirely different thing than sharing our happiness.
Let’s understand with a small example-
There’s my niece, who is 7 years of age. She never eats anything alone. As soon as someone gives her something to eat, she gives a bite to everyone besides her. Now, how could we say this as happiness? Surely, we can…!!
These are good values inculcated in her, which never let her keep things to herself. It is not just about food or other things; it’s about values. She never finds herself happy alone while eating, and therefore sharing food makes her happy.
How can we share happiness?
There is a phrase if we share our happiness, it gets double, and sharing sorrows become halves. Well, this cannot be true for everyone. Someone may be insecure about sharing their happiness or sorrows with others. Introverts may not feel to talk much about things. Everyone has to choose what’s a better definition of sharing happiness and sorrows for themselves.
Sharing doesn’t mean we should share everything we feel good about with everyone. We should also be aware of what to share? And with whom to share about? For that, we need to know who is really happy for us. Who are our real ones?
Sharing sorrows is favorable.
The people with whom we feel safe about our secrets, who are compatible with our joys, and who cheer us on our attainments. Simultaneously, with the sorrows. We should be more aware while sharing our sorrows.
Sharing happiness may not harm you in any other way, but sharing sorrows do if we share it with the wrong people. Just like happiness, sorrows should also be shared with those who understand you. With those who are really empathetic towards your problem. The people who listen to your sorrows should be capable of healing you and giving you a helping hand.
Happiness is not real if not shared?
Well, this is not a universal truth. As we discussed, everyone has their own way of being happy. So, everyone may have their own way to celebrate their happiness or to make themselves the happiest out of that happiness. Let’s understand this with an example-
Let's understand this with an example-
There’s a guy named Ankit, who is a software engineer. He’s an introvert and hardly speaks at his workplace with anyone. He only has one friend there. Ankit got engaged with a girl, and then the next day, he told his friend about it. And then his friend told it to all their colleagues. As soon as he told everyone, everyone in the office started coming to Ankit’s desk and congratulating him.
Ankit got very awkward and angry with his friend. Ankit even told him, from today, please don’t share anything with anyone if I tell you something. I don’t like to get surrounded by people and get attention for some reason.
Yes, there are people like Ankit too. They may not like to share their happiness and sorrows with others. They are happy alone or only with the people they are comfortable with. Many reasons may be there behind it, they may not trust people, or they may have some bad experiences of the past.
Someone may be happy alone and love to keep it to themselves. So, in the case of such people, we cannot force the same meaning of happiness.
How is sharing related to happiness?
Let’s start with my own example. I love to write poetry, and I hardly share it with someone. Rather, I don’t share it with anyone except two of my friends. Once I'm done with writing, the first thing I do is sending them what I have written.
They compliment me for it and even suggest it be something that can make it much better. They are not any famous poets, authors, or something, but the words they say, seem precious to me. The texts I get from them make me feel happiest and satisfied with what I do.
There's a difference between sharing and showing off
It doesn’t mean sharing our achievements or happiness is for show-off. It is really a big misconception. Sharing is just like any other fundamental value we inculcate in ourselves. It makes us happier and makes the listener feel trustworthy. It creates and nurtures good relationships.
When we share something with someone, with all our heart and enthusiasm, even the person in front of us feels special. It may be anyone you could share your happiness with. Your friends, family, neighbor, relatives, or colleagues.
What to share?
Sharing doesn’t need something big achieved or breaking news. It could be small things that we do directly or indirectly every day. It may include; Kids tell their mom what happened in school today, a couple talking to each other about how did the day spent, friends are talking to each other about their memories. Likewise, it could be anything we do, and we share it with our loved ones.
What gives us true happiness?
There is a huge difference between being truly happy or just making yourself believe that you are happy. When we are really happy, the smile and feelings come from within. The materialistic things that give us a few moments' satisfaction cannot be said as true happiness.
We may feel that spending time with loved ones, traveling for pleasure, getting into love relationships is happiness. But no, while doing these things, is your heart happy? You have to ask yourself these questions. When you feel these are the happiest moment, your mind should not be getting any other thought than that happiness. Your heart should be full of satisfaction. It should not be making you feel empty about any other thing.
Essence of happiness
When you say you are truly happy, you should be full of that one heavenly feeling. Your soul should be in peace and nothing else. This is called true happiness. Neither happiness come from the materialistic thing, nor from the people you are surrounded with. It is within you. You create it for yourself, and then after sharing it, you create people around you happy.
Happiness is like a consequence of the effort you have taken for it. If you want to be happy, you are supposed to be involved in that one particular thing. It brings you the real pleasure of that thing.
To make yourself happy, you need to love yourself the way you are. You need to create your own happiness, and then only you can share it. Undoubtedly, happiness is real only when shared, but it is totally your choice to share it or not. Do not let momentary happiness trap you. It never lasts forever. Happiness is said to be real when you shared, enjoyed it with your loved ones, and kept it as a good memory in your heart, which gives you more and more satisfaction each time you remember it.