Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Why Am I Not Happy

Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Why Am I Not Happy


Don't feel like getting out of bed when the sun rises? Too down to face a new day and new challenges? You might just be gloomy and unhappy at the moment. When we are unhappy, the whole world seems black and white. Like the color just drained from it. So why do we feel so sad sometimes? Could it be the weather or some bad incident that took place on a particular day?

51 Reasons why am I not happy

There are so many reasons why we could be sad; let's see some of them understand ourselves better!

1. Focusing on the negative:

It's very easy for our minds to trick us into believing more negative things about ourselves. This is called negativity bias. With this, we tend to focus more on negative thoughts, actions, or feelings.

● When the mind is increasingly allowed to be negative over time, then positive thoughts get drowned out.

● It's important to resist this bias as our negative thoughts give way to negative feelings.

2. Holding grudges:

When you hold a grudge against someone, it's like drinking poison and hoping that the other person falls sick. They say that 'The best revenge is a life lived well!'. So, we must let the bitterness go for our own benefit. The person whom you grudge against might be living their best life while you wallow in self-pity.

3. No attention to health:

They say that your mental health affects your physical state. But, it is also true the other way round. When you feel sick, the mind is also affected.

● If you are working long hours non-stop without a break or enjoyment, you are going to burn out soon.

● If you haven't been sleeping well or eating junk food a lot, you are slowly going to feel sad and depleted.

4. You are a perfectionist:

Perfection can either be a boon or a bane depending on how much it is practiced. When you are constantly trying to make things into your ideal vision, you become more anxious.

● Realizing that utter perfection is a myth can make you exhausted and cranky. This could be because you are very uncomfortable with your quirks and faults.

● Only when you are accepting and compassionate with yourself can you get out of this unhealthy perfection cycle.

5. Comparison to others:

Most of the time, we are busy comparing ourselves with others. He/she looks better than me, he/she has a better job and whatnot. This habit causes a lot of unhappiness in the long run.

● Instead, we must compare ourselves with what we were yesterday. Are you a better person today? What did we do to improve ourselves today?

● You are much more than your job or the clothes on your back. Comparing yourself with others can only bring you discontent.

6. You are in financial debt:

Constant money worries really put a black cloud over our lives. Being regularly reminded that we owe money to someone makes us stressed and worried. The sooner we start paying off our debts, the happier we will be.

7. You are lonely:

By nature, we humans are social creatures, and so when we get cut off from society, we are bound to get depressed. Reach out to people with a kind smile!

● Join hobby groups where you can meet people with similar interests to begin a great friendship.

● Be genuinely interested in others. This will take you far in building life-long relationships.

8. You worry:

Constant worry is like poison for the mind. Worry makes you fearful for a future you have no control over. This feeling of having no control over the future makes you anxious and helpless. This helplessness, in the long run, converts to hopelessness and makes you feel even sadder.

9. No purpose in life:

While most people live for the weekend, there are those passionate, purposeful people who give it their all to pursue their dreams.

● Make a list of all your hobbies and interests in life, which you can start exploring slowly. As you hit each interest on the list, you will realize that you have discovered your purpose in life somewhere along the way.

● It could be a business out of a hobby or a charitable act of every day from your interest.

10. Still in the past:

Most of us have the bad habit of reminiscing about the past every day. Oh, how precious those good old days were! I wish we could relive them all over again! And so on. But living in the past only shifts our focus from what could be a wonderful future.

● It is not emotionally healthy to live in the past as it cannot be changed or relived.

● All we can do is to learn from the past and hope to build a better future!

11. Unhealthy habits:

The connection between the mind and body is 100% real! And so, when you eat junk food, are sleepless, or don't exercise, it directly affects your mood. You are feeling anxious or sad for no reason. Maybe even restless! Adding a few extra hours of shut-eye, healthy food, and exercise can improve your disposition by leaps and bounds.

12. Fear of failure:

Growing up, sometimes we become so overwhelmed by life that we begin to fear it. We become so afraid of making mistakes that we even stop trying!

● The fear of failing can be crippling and cause great anxiety and depression. So, it is important to overcome this fear.

● When we face our fears and deal with them, we live a very happy and fulfilled life.

13. Always being pessimistic:

Whoever said, 'Perception becomes reality' must be given an award. When we are always negative and think that things will never be good in our life, that is end how it ends up. So, we must start focusing on the positives in life and move forward. Our life will be that much brighter.

14. Failed passions and dreams:

Maybe you tried pursuing your dreams when you were younger and failed. Or your parents did not let you choose your dream career growing up.

● Sometimes, these failed dreams bring us down in the worst possible way, and we think of ourselves as failures.

● When we are in dissatisfying careers or lives, we tend to be unfulfilled and sad. It is a signal to finally leave such a life and start afresh.

15. Holding on to anger:

You may have fought or been hurt by someone's harsh behavior, and you just can't let it go.

● You feel wronged, insulted, and need an apology. Every time you think of them, you are filled with anger and sadness.

● Constantly thinking about a person who wronged you will make you unhappy and bitter. It is better to let go of such cases than to hold and feel pain.

16. Boredom:

When we are bored, life can often feel meaningless and flat. There is no aim, or goal, or something to look forward to. Nothing to achieve or work towards, then boredom consumes our mind. You can join hobby clubs or meet-up groups to make new friends and start new hobbies. Your boredom will go away, and you may have just learned a new skill.

17. Don't like your appearance:

The beauty standards today are superficially high! Everywhere people try to look like Instagram models all the time. Some opt for extreme procedures like plastic surgery to achieve that diva look.

● But in reality, on properly observing people, we see that most people are average-looking.

● Take care of yourself by exercising and eating healthy. Appreciate yourself for the way you naturally are.

18. Always procrastinating:

As they say, 'A stitch in time saves nine. Keeping your work until the last minute of your deadline can get you pretty stressed and unhappy. Always try to break your work into small chunks and finish those pieces one at a time. Slowly you will eat away at your mountain of work and be stress-free and happy again.

19. Being too busy:

Sometimes we spend time on things that are useless in the long term but might seem important at present. Also, work may be keeping us excessively tied up.

● Constantly being occupied puts us in a state of unhappiness over time.

● It's important to give yourself some me-time and spend time doing the things you like once in a while.

20. You are single:

Everyone wants that special someone in their life. Hanging out with your couple friends might make you jealous or sad, especially when you miss the presence of that other half.

● You can join a single's club or meet-ups or even sign up for a dating service to mingle with other singles.

● A gym is also a good place where many singles hang out while staying fit.

21. Not enough sleep:

People who have sleeping problems often suffer from a string of physical and mental illnesses. They also have a 10-fold chance of suffering from depression and sadness. So it's time to switch off from technology and the world and get some good quality shut-eye.

22. In a bad relationship:

While being in a relationship can be a blissfully happy experience. Things begin to go way down south when the relationship begins to sour.

● When you are unloved by your partner, you may feel a sense of unhappiness and dread.

● Add to that the insecurity that they may pack their bags and leave at any time, and your entire cycle of misery is complete.

23. Being dependent:

One of the greatest gifts you can give yourself while entering adulthood would be the gift of independence and cultivating a sense of responsibility.

● It may be easier to depend on others for your needs, but in the long run, you may get depressed or sad having to oblige to their every demand in return for your needs.

● Other people's agendas can weigh you down, severely clipping your wings.

24. Not spending time alone:

Sometimes being around others all the time can give you a noisy mind and get you down real fast. You and your mind need a break from all the hustle and bustle of life.

● Go to the park on a sunny afternoon, when it's less crowded, and enjoy a quiet lunch by yourself or take a solo backpacking trip.

● These moments will refresh your mind and increase your focus and make you happier.

25. Being complacent:

When you are stagnant in life, you will slowly fade away into existence. Struggling to achieve something or attain your goals has a thrill that you will not feel in mundane life. So leave the complacency behind and go out there to start living your best, exciting life and swim towards a great future.

26. You look for validation:

"First learn to love yourself first, everything else will fall into place" When you look at others constantly to agree with you or support your opinions, you will always be disappointed.

● When you have low self-esteem, you count on others to guide you always instead of trusting your instincts and worth.

● You will always be sad if you feel you don't have the power to determine your happiness.

27. Being around unhappy people:

It is true that negative people can bring you down. When you spend time with people who always whine and are sad about their life, you end up getting affected too. You slowly start feeling sad, and their negativity rubs off on you. You must begin avoiding such people and instead meet happy people with a positive outlook towards life.

28. Neglect personal relationships:

In today's world, we run behind money and success a lot and lose focus on what's actually important.

● At the end of their lives, most people become miserable when they realize they are all alone. No amount of money can bring their loved ones back.

● The love of your friends and family is more important than everything else in the world. Without it, most people are not happy in life.

29. Stopped learning:

The greatest myth that the world has today is that there is a certain age to learn new things. The excitement that learning and discovering new things brings to people of all ages is unmatched. Start by embracing a new hobby and discovering a new interest. You will slowly see your unhappy self fade away.

30. Dissatisfied with your job:

Most of us a going to spend almost 60 percent of our lives working. But, if that job makes you unhappy, you will be miserable for most hours of the day.

● Is there something you can change in your workplace or job? If not, it's time to look for other opportunities.

● Even the thought of looking for another job will bring you out of that unhappy phase.

31. Think you don't deserve happiness:

Some sad and miserable people think that happiness is not meant for them. Maybe they feel guilty about something in the past or just don't feel worthy.

● Everyone deserves happiness. It is also not healthy to feel negative and sad all the time.

● People must take time, refocus their perspective, and give themselves permissions to find their happy place.

32. Only focus on material things:

We always chase for more money, a bigger house, a better car, etc. This chase never ends. It can leave us very unhappy and dissatisfied in the long run. Things and money can provide temporary happiness, but once you get them, you are off the finding the next best thing. Focus on personal growth, experiences, and relationships for a more satisfying and happy life.

33. You ignore opportunities:

Opportunities knock at the oddest of times and don't even look like one during most. When you regularly miss the window at such times, it can be very frustrating and sad.

● Take a risk, grab that chance, and leap; you will be amazed at how your life takes a turn.

● Learn to turn your limitations into opportunities; you will be slowly invincible.

34. You have a victim mentality:

People are not inherently victims. They are pushed into that situation for so long, maybe due to traumatic or negative situations so many times that it becomes a part of them. This mentality can eventually make you sad and miserable. It may take the help of a therapist. But slowly, you can come out of this and have the power and belief to rebuild your life.

35. Chasing the wrong things:

When we constantly chase things or people we want but do not need, we end up being unhappy. This trait can be corrected with some long and deep soul-searching. Discover what is important and valuable to you and chase that. The rest of it is just dust. When we get what we value, the unhappiness reduces.

36. Bothered about others' opinions:

Living with other people's opinions constantly in our heads can be a pretty stressful and daunting thing. It makes a person very unhappy with themselves.

● People are a reflection of their experiences in life. Each one has their own unique experiences and so cannot wholly judge a person from their point of view.

● Letting go of what others think can be pretty stress-relieving.

37. No time to relax:

'All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy!' We must have heard this proverb at least a hundred times while growing up. It all begins to finally sink in and make sense now.

● Overworking with no breaks in between to unwind can make anybody miserable. Such people are never happy and always tense.

● Taking some time off to de-stress can improve your mental and physical health by bounds

38. No spiritual life:

People who always live in the material world, always collecting wealth, become miserable with time. They forget to nurture their spiritual side, and it suffers greatly.

● Man is made up of spiritual and physical sides. Neglecting even one makes a person very unhappy.

● Regular meditation and reflection of oneself can be very calming and benefit our overall well-being.

39. You are very impatient:

Sometimes it can be hard to be patient, especially during bad times. But, patience can be very rewarding. Decisions taken in haste can take you down a road much worse than one you are already on, making you sadder. Never make a choice when you are in a bad mood.

40. Having no real friends:

Life is a set of storms and gentle breezes. It becomes much easier to weather storms when we have a group or even a single friend who will stand by our side.

● Having a single strong solid friend by your side is better than having a hundred acquaintances.

● When you have no one to support you when you need help during problems, you will find yourself in a sad state.

41. Feel unappreciated:

Recognition or gratefulness is a core part needed by the human condition to help us continue to do our best. When we are appreciated for all the hard work we put in, be it in the office or at home, we are much happier to continue with the work. But, working for years without being noticed or recognized makes us very sad in the long run.

42. Hoping life will be fair:

We all know and have been told that 'Life is unfair.' However, most of us still cling to the fact that everything will work out in the end as planned.

● When you keep the above attitude, you will be sad and disappointed all the time. Stop waiting and take a more proactive approach to improve life.

● Ask yourself what can you do to make a difference and stop focusing on the fact that you have been cheated in any way or that only you have it worse.

43. Don't take risks:

Plenty of people live within their cozy little worlds. They do not take risks and even stagnate and become sad and frustrated.

● Taking risks and pushing yourself to your limits makes a person feel alive. Getting over your previous limits creates excitement like no other.

● Get off that armchair and challenge yourself every single day to keep that sadness away.

44. Don't love yourself:

'You can't pour water from an empty container.' In the same way, you can't give happiness if you don't feel happy yourself. This happiness within you comes from loving and taking care of yourself.

● Pursue happiness and love yourself enough to go after it.

● Even if it is hard right now to get out of the boxing ring, at least stop beating yourself up and learn to love the person you see in the mirror.

45. Equating comfort with happiness:

Constant comfort has killed the happiness that comes from the fire of life. This cushy life has had quite the opposite effect, increasing depression and sadness. We must learn to differentiate between being comfortable and being happy. Find what ignites your passion and pursue it. You will be surprised at the liveliness you feel and will never get in comfort.

46. Don't have a pet:

'A dog is the only thing that loves you more than you love yourself' Pets are selfless beings who always stand by us and protect us.

● Without a pet, perhaps life may be miserable, especially for single people. We have no one to share our feelings and dreams with.

● Studies show that petting a cat or a dog releases the feel-good hormone oxytocin and reduces depression.

47. Refusing to learn from mistakes:

Learning and growing are part of life. However, some people are like a stuck tape recorder. They keep making the same mistakes over and over again, in spite of having the same unpleasant outcomes all the time.

● Facing the same terrible consequences every time we do something makes us sad. This is a single to change our actions and try some other methods.

● Whenever something goes wrong, learn from it and avoid making it in the future. This will reduce the pain and sadness we get from making those mistakes, and we also learn something new.

48. One step away:

Most of us always have it in our heads that, let me just do this one thing more, and I will be happy. A better job, or just one more bite of that delicious sandwich. Instead, we must sit and enjoy and really understand that life is in the now. This is it. What you feel right now is happiness. It won't come after that one bite because you will still want more. The one more step attitude is what keeps us unsatisfied most time.

49. You are insecure:

A lot of people are insecure these days because they feel they are simply not enough. This may stem from childhood trauma or bad past relationships where they were abandoned.

● Visiting a therapist would help in extreme circumstances. Otherwise, self-work and building your confidence step-by-step can do wonders.

● Being insecure and staying in our comfort zone can be frustrating and cause sadness. Instead, shed those inhibitions, spread your wings and fly.

50. Constant future worries:

Most of us are so worried about the future that we lose sight of the past. This worry can get us down in many ways and make us sad and miserable. So, we must always learn to enjoy the resent while keeping a hopeful eye towards the future. As they say, 'What you do today, determines who you will be tomorrow.'

51. Not being yourself:

One of the greatest disservices we can do to ourselves is pretending to act like someone else. We usually do this to fit in and out of fear of being left out or left behind.

● Nobody wants to be the kid who gets picked last; in the long run, pretending to be cool and successful even when you are not can be tiring and make you sad.

● There is also a chance that your lie can be caught down the line. So be yourself because everyone else is already taken.


Being happy in most cases is a choice. There are so many factors that affect our happiness, most of which are outlined above. But barring circumstances, most of these reasons can be dealt with using a lot of self-love and patience. So, if you feel sad, miserable, or dissatisfied in life, first recognize the cause and then work towards changing and improving your circumstances.

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