Love is a word that we will always be surrounded with. It is the most common topic we will hear about throughout our lives. This is also the most favorite topic for poets, writers, singers, musicians, or basically, any artist loves.
For most of the people, it is their whole life. Some people feel that it is the only reason for their existence. Their only purpose in life is only to love.
Take Rumi, the famous 13th-century Persian poet, and scholar, for instance. He was also a Sufi philosopher. For him, love was everything. But his love was for God and mankind as a whole. His love was divine and otherworldly. Likewise, love will be different for everyone too.
The most common and popular form of love is the love between two persons. The love we usually see in love stories, films, or songs. The love we do with a beloved.
However, this is also the type of love that confuses us to the peak. We are capable enough to realize other emotions such as greed, hatred, sadness right away. There will be no confusion in love. But we might never be able to realize the feeling of love we have for someone else. Sometimes, for our whole life, we are unaware of it.
There are some signs from which we can recognize our feelings as love. You will get excited about the person; you feel exhilarating, it just feels special with the person. But it does not necessarily last forever. It can transform into some other feelings.
Therefore, you may not know what is the difference between your feelings, then and now. The word love is still associated with the relationship you have with that person. But something definitely has shifted with the way you seem to feel about them and think about them.
This is where the terms "Love them" and "In Love With Them" comes.
Note here that both forms of love are legit, and it does not mean that anything is wrong with the way you feel for them. It just means that your feelings have been involved from before for your significant other.
Let's understand how these forms differ from each other.
Being In Love With Your Partner
This feeling is mainly associated with the earlier stages of a love relationship. The feelings one is going to experience at this stage are more thrilling. You will feel the excitement, happiness, infatuation, nervousness, sexual attraction, and even lust.
Loving Your Partner
This form of love is the complete opposite of the above. There will barely be any kind of thrill; instead, you will be filled with calm. You are also going to feel soothed and secure in their presence rather than excited or nervous. This usually happens when you have been with them for a long time. You will not experience a whirlwind of emotions; rather, it will be clearer at this point.
Difference Between The Forms Of Love
Now that you have a vague idea of how your feelings will differ at both points, let us understand how to actually detect them apart.
You always Want To See Them When You Are In Love.
You cannot seem to get enough of them. Even if you have been with them just a moment before, you still want to get back to them and spend time together. Without them, you feel lonely, and you cannot stop yourself from thinking about them when you are not together.
All your thoughts seem to surround them. This is very common when you are at the stage of being in love. And if you are experiencing all these, then you're in love with them.
You Feel Excited When You Are In Love
Almost everything and anything about them gets you excited. Everything feels new; even your life seems so new to you.
Mundane, routine activities can also feel new and exciting when you are in love with someone. You might also feel courageous and open enough for new experiences. Something that you have never done before or even think of doing. All because your partner loves them, likes doing them, or even has mentioned or suggested for you to try it.
When You Are In Love, You Make Time For Them
Nowadays, people are just too busy with their own lives. We rarely get to take time for even ourselves from work, let alone for our loved ones.
But this won't be the scenario when you are in love with someone. You are going to make time for them at this stage of your relationship. When someone asks you to make time for them, you will have more excuses for why you can't do that. But when it comes to your partner, you have more reasons to do things for them or be with them in your tight schedule.
It could be because you are still in the early stages of your relationship and try to get to know them by spending time with them. That will be because they will be your priority.
However, you should also try to keep in contact with your friends and family as well. Don't make the person you are in love with fill your every sense as well.
Your Sexual Life Is Amazing When You Are In Love
When you are in a loving and romantic relationship having intimate and sexual contacts or indulging in such activities is normal. It is a part of your relationship and is also a way of expressing your feelings. Your relationship does not have to consist of just this, but it will be a major and important part of it.
When you are in love, sexual activities will play a big part in making you fall for each other more. It will act as a catalyst for your feelings many times. You will feel good about your partner and the relationship you are sharing with one another.
This may or may not be the case in your later stage of love. You either won't have time for it or will just not be as interested in it as before. And both things are alright. Priorities change, right?
When In Love You Idealize Them
It is a scientifically proven fact that you will not see or notice your significant other's flaws and imperfections when you are in love with someone. They are the ideal person you could ever imagine, exists.
Being in love with them can make you turn a blind eye to their not-so-positive traits as well. It is easier for you to justify their mistakes or negative personality traits & habits, no matter if it really affects your relationship or not. And you are going to brag on and idealize their good traits even more. They will be just too perfect and good to be true as per you.
You Feel Secure With The Affection By Them
When you love your partner, you also want to show your best side to them too. You won't want them to see your flaws and imperfections. You will also be careful enough with everything related to you and make them see your idealized version when you are in the stage of being in love.
But when the time goes by with both of you being in each other's presence and familiar enough with each other, this will change. You both will come to know each other's bad habits and negative traits in you. You both will adjust or get used to them when you cannot change them for each other.
These things will stop affecting you both in your relationship. You will be so comfortable with each other. And also, this shows that your relationship has strengthened over time together. You are more practical and realistic over your idealistic ideas of each other at this stage.
You Can Be Yourself At This Point
When you are in love, you both will rub off on each other. Both of your opinions will be adapted by the other, whether consciously or unconsciously. You will also feel the need to agree with their opinions when your relationship is fairly young so as not to upset them.
However, when a relationship grows more, you begin to get comfortable with how you are and your thought process also. You do no longer feel the need to hold back your opinions from your partner.
You can speak what's on your mind to your partner without as much as a filter over it. This will be because of the sense of security and surety you both will feel with each other in the later years of your relationship.
You won't argue with each other over different thinking or opinions. Instead, you will be mature enough in your relationship to talk it out with each other and solve the disagreement.
It Is Easier To Love And Accepts Their Imperfections When You Love Them
We all know the fact that all humans are imperfect. This includes you and your partner too. They sure possess some good in them for you to fall in love with them. But they also have some bad traits as well, more or less. And you may not find them too good or great. You may also not be completely fine with them.
You may also find many of their things not so endearing anymore, which you found liking in your earlier years of relationship.
When you love someone, you accept them completely and as to how they are (most of the time except red flags like abuse or such serious things).
There will be some flaws that are easily overlooked and will not matter over time. Even if it does, you are both comfortable enough with each other to talk it out.
Your relationship will not resemble the perfect idea you had in your mind earlier but will be more normal. Or should I say imperfectly perfect?
You Might Need To Make Efforts For The Relationship
You have been together for so much time that you are used to each other. Naturally, things are not going to remain the same as they were in your earlier days together. Change is inevitable, and you are going to face this.
You guys no longer have that passion and intensity with your intimacy; the number of times also will decrease. You guys may or may not get bored of each other since you spent so much time together.
You are so used to each other's presence that you barely notice anything anymore related to your partner or your relationship. You might even stop acknowledging it as one. It might be more like a companionship. But that doesn't mean you don't love each other.
It is easy to make more effort into your relationship when it is still young and in its early stages. But those can not be feasible over the time spent. Your daily life responsibilities are sure to get in the way. However, this does not signify that there is no love between you both. It is still present. You just have stopped noticing that.
This can be rectified with acts and efforts to show that you still care for them and still love exists between you.
Your Connection Is deeper Than Ever When You Love Them.
You and your partner have developed a strong connection with each other mentally and emotionally over time in your relationship. You know each other like the back of your hand. Maybe you know your partner more than they know themselves, and vice versa.
Both of you are well known for each other's likes and dislikes, moods, comforts and discomforts, good and bad habits, what ticks them off, and what makes them feel safe. You both also know how to handle all these and work your way around them. That gives both of you a sense of safety and security.
You both turn to each other when you are feeling down and need some mental relaxation or winding up. Both of you cross each other's minds when there is something you need to share with someone.
You both will have a silent language that only you and your partner understand, like a code. It won't come as a surprise if both of you will be a practical example of the saying "Two bodies and one heart" if so.
Conclusion
When a certain amount of time has gone with you two together, you may begin to feel like you love them but are no longer in love with them. There will also be days when you won't love them at all. This is perfectly alright. This is how the relationship evolves over time. Some will be okay with it, and some will still crave the earlier excitement and spark they used to feel. This is how your relationship will look over time.
Most people will want a long-term relationship with their partner. They will work and make efforts likewise for the same reason. It depends on you what you prefer and wants out of it.
It will work in your favor if you are okay with the changes. But if not, then you might experience sadness and hopelessness in your relationship. So what can you do to avoid that?
You can try this by actually giving them attention, if not as much as before. Rekindle your passion and intimacy with each other. Take time out to spend with each other. Keep putting in efforts every now and then in your relationship and your partner as well. Think of it as an investment you are doing. The more you put in, the more returns you are getting out of it.
Long term relationship isn't just loving and sharing, just good experiences. It also means that you are committing to each other and everything related to them. There will rarely be any me; it will be us or we later on in love.