Do you keep judging yourself on what others say? Are you still worrying about what others think about you? What is the first thought about yourself when you look at the mirror?
I am pretty much sure about this thing that it would be what people will think about me!
And yes, it is very natural that we put others in front of us when it comes to grading ourselves. Who doesn't want to be loved and admired by people around us! But thinking too much about others' opinions and adjusting to them is really what we should concern about. This thinking can have a huge impact on our mental peace. This can also lead to living our life on other terms more than to rely on ourselves.
Our one foot we always leave back when in doing anything that we love to do much. The "what will people think?" questions always poke us on our back every time we decide to live for ourselves. The energy in our body keeps on altering itself every time it is pushed into others' state. We stop embracing our own selves and start chasing other opinions about us.
Being a social animal, we are more likely taught and are grown in an environment where we need to adjust our energies to the disciplines, and certain norms led down by society for decades. If we put a revolution against these norms, we are often judged by society and are marked as a disgrace to its culture. And therefore, there are very few who do this and most everyone who cares to fit in these norms. But in the era of the 20s, if we choose to live on people's judgments, we will be left far behind to have a healthy life and a wealthy spiritual peace.
It is even observed that many people face depression or anxiety issues due to this. Our fear has a negative impact on our minds. According to Brene Brown, "When we stop caring about what people think, we lose our capacity for connection. When we become defined by what people think, we lose our willingness to be vulnerable." Indeed that is true. There is no greater wealth than our peace and mental stability. If we give this ability to harm our own health mentally and physically to others, there is nothing more precious to lose.
You must have heard that when you are moving on the path of success, you develop haters. You try to do anything in your life to try to satisfy and please people around you; there will be people who will always backstab you, want to pull you down the ladder hurting your self-esteem.
In the end, it is about how much you take and how you resonate with everything that is thrown at you. It is you who will be living with all the decisions and paths you have chosen for yourselves. There is no home for other people's judgment on your way to march up.
Why we worry about the things we shouldn't
Now let us look at some reasons why we keep worrying about keeping others at the forefront than us:
1. We hate rejections –
Think of yourself going for an interview for some position in the company. You will definitely dress well, practice proper etiquette, have perfect makeup, and smell pleasant. You don't want to lose any chance of you been selected, and you cannot handle rejections. This is the fundamental we use even in our day-to-day life but in a wrong approach.
We rush into a competition and think people are examining us daily on how we present ourselves. We don't want to be felt dejected by anyone. This is the reason we focus and worry much about presenting ourselves to the world.
2. To fit in our society –
As I said earlier, we try to fit in society's norms and culture and would never want someone to pinpoint us regarding destroying the ethics which are laid down for ages.
3. We love compliments –
There is nobody in this world who will hate to receive compliments about themselves. We love people talking good about ourselves. Therefore to pertain a good image and reputation in our society, we really strive hard.
4. We judge people-
You can even be a gossiper and one who loves to talk about people, about their personal life and behavior. And the same way you think others talk about you and keep judging you throughout. Thus, you keep stressing about how to keep your mark in other people's minds.
It is important to know where and how we cause stress worrying about others. Understanding where the problems lie would help us to reach out to their solutions.
How to Stop Worrying What Other People Think of You
Here are some ways which can help you to override such thinking:
1. You cannot please everyone –
There is no way where you can please everyone you get in your path. You cannot control what other people think about you, how they should react to you. But the only thing you control is your own reaction to it. You are not here to please others but to find happiness for you. You should learn to say NO when asked to do anything. There should be no other priority than you. It is not called selfish but self-care. Be the true version of you.
2. Meet more people –
Meeting more people can let have broader exposure to people's opinion. You can understand there are people with a different perspective, and everyone reacts uniquely to any circumstance. This may help you to be gentler on you when making decisions. It will make you understand that one person's negative for you will never affect you anymore.
3. Become kinder to the world –
It is the law of the universe, and you attract good when you send in good. There a lot of people struggling in the same trauma that you are going through but maybe even in more severe conditions. Always see to it you are kind to everyone and show gratitude to all people you encounter with. You may even realize that the sufferings you think you are going through are nothing compared to the others.
4. Nobody's thinking of you –
All everyone cares about is just about themselves. In this busy world, nobody has time to remove and think about you. All they need is attention for them and not you. Yes, sometimes at the moment somebody can think about you, can judge you. But this is not a long time, and they may soon forget anything has ever like that.
It is all in your head that a person will remember what you did last Sunday with them or will remember what good you did to them today. Otherwise, nobody else bothers about it.
5. Drive your energy somewhere –
An empty mind is the devil's workshop. It is so much true for your energy too. If we focus on draining our energy more on worrying about what others think about us, we will never be satisfied with anything. Instead of this, if we focus more on our personal development, drive our energy to learn new things, and explore ourselves, we would surely perceive peace.
6. You own your mistakes and flaws –
In the end, it is you who are going to regret your mistakes. It is you who have to deal with your wrong choices. You are okay with your flaws, and you are going to accept them. There is nobody who is going to be affected by it. No one wants you to rectify your mistakes, learn from them, and grow up. Your flaws would not let others down.
The journey and all the obstacles are all yours. There would never be any paddler for you to take you with them through it. You own everything about you.
You need to master the art of letting go of these thoughts. You are strong enough to deal with everything that you decide for yourselves. Figure out what matters to you and stick to it around. Find your space within yourself and be thankful for everything that you have struggled with.
Your life should never get exhausted by other's appearance in it. Each breath should be free from other people's interference. The energy in your body should not adjust to match someone else vibes. In the end, it is about how positive you are with the things around you and how you make everything within you to be positive.