It is not surprising that so many of us had a person in our life that was an important part of it. But they are no longer present now. Now, all we have are their memories with us. The memories which used to bring joy and happiness once are getting painful every day to reminisce.
It gets harder to go every day without the presence of that person. So much so that you may stop believing that things can get better. Or that you are going to be happy again, normal again. Many of us have been through this situation.
You may be isolating yourself right after losing them and wallowing in self-pity. Watching the shows you might not even be interested in, stuffing yourself with all sorts of unhealthy food and drinks or refusing even to have a morsel of water, not doing things you need to do, or you liked to do. Are you relating?
As said, there is light after every dark tunnel, no matter how long it is. You may take a few days, months, or years but mark these words that you will get through if you just hold on till the end. And if everything does happen for a reason, then who knows, you might happen to find something good out of it. I know it seems like a mockery, but it is not.
You may discover a completely new version of yourself. Or you might come off as an even stronger person once you have fought all the hardships. You are guaranteed more wisdom after you have successfully dealt with your situation.
There are also people who have made it through the other end of it. And are happy and living their best life. Some even have a life even better than before. So get inspired by their journey and be ready to work your way with the same.
Learning to forget someone is certainly a really hard thing to achieve. Especially when they are always on your mind no matter whatever activity you are doing (or not doing).
How to forget someone
Here are some of the points for you to help forget someone and move on with your life.
Acceptance
Accepting what happened is the first and foremost step you need to take. You need to understand that things between you and that person did not work out. Doniel won't get you anywhere but just lengthen the process of forgetting them. You are just going to suffer more with denying things.
Things are going to change, so just accepting the situation is the thing in your hands. This way, your heart will stop giving you false hope of them being at your door out of the blue and wanting to be in your life again-like what we watch in movies. That is next to impossible!
“Letting go gives us freedom, and freedom is the only condition for happiness. If in our heart, we still cling to anything – anger, anxiety, or possessions – we cannot be free.” – Thich Nhat Hanh
Let It Go
I can bet your brain popped up the song with the same title from the Disney Movie Frozen, and you may have started singing the song. But have you paid attention to the message this song is giving? If you did, you would know that it is exactly what you are in need of.
This is the only thing making sure that your heart will be free and allow you to move on. And after you have completed the second step, follow understanding and promise yourself not to be stuck and keep moving forward.
Who knew these fantasy movies from Disney could be so real in their own ways.
“I will breathe. I will think of solutions. I will not let my worry control me. I will not let my stress level break me. I will simply breathe. And it will be okay. Because I don’t quit.” – Shayne McClendon
Go Out
Do not keep yourself stuck in your home, weeping and moping with a pint of ice cream on your bed. Not for too long, at least.
Go out and soak in the sun, socialize, go for a walk, cafe, market, anything. You are suffering from a broken heart, true. But it is not the end of your days as you are still breathing. So why stop yourself from living?
“Nothing ever goes away until it teaches us what we need to know.” – PemaChodron
Not Dwelling On The Past
Have you watched the 2002 movie "The Time Machine" by Simon Wells? In the story, the male protagonist, who is a scientist, is working on a time machine.
He loses his love interest in the movie and uses the time machine, and he attempts many times to go back in time and change the outcomes. But it never goes his way. His "what ifs" are never answered, and he suffers from it. His character only feels peace when he lets go and accepts and stops dwelling on the past.
"What if" can be the most haunting words for any person. And more so when you are going through a heartbreak. What had taken place was meant to happen. No matter how much you wish to change the outcomes or your course of actions that led to the situation.
Finding the answers to those "what ifs" will just make you stuck in your situation more and more. There are a thousand alternative possibilities to your situation, but nothing matters now. It won't change anything for you. It might be the universe's call. Moving forwards is the only thing you can do to free yourself from the clutch your past has on your heart and mind.
“Try not to resist the changes that come your way. Instead, let life live through you. And do not worry that your life is turning upside down. How do you know that the side you are used to is better than the one to come.” – Rumi
Improvising Yourself
It is understandable that you are going to sulk in this situation for a little while. But if you really want to forget someone, then the best you can do is to focus on yourself. Your situation gives you the perfect opportunity to introspect and develop yourself more.
Improve your health, join classes of your likes, do activities that make you feel happy or at least normal enough. Think of the time when you are going to meet the person again possibly. The best thing is to look and feel good to make them regret leaving you. This will be a hell of a motivation to get started on yourself.
“It is time for me to let go of my old beliefs about how relationships are supposed to be.” – Louise Hay
Get Rid Of Their Memories
There will surely be possessions you'll be having that they have given to you. And this will make you remember them with even just a glance at those. And not only that but all the places they have been with you, all those things you did with them, their social media accounts, their favorite activities, food, everything, and anything related to them.
All of these will remind you of them, and their memories will start haunting you. Even mutual friends will make you feel like that.
You need to keep yourself away from all these things until you are okay enough to face them without any negative effect on you. And there is no harm in doing so if it ensures your suffering ends. They are your past now, so it's better to let them be in your past.
“He’s going to be sorry he lost you, so stop worrying. Forget the past, forget the pain and remember what an incredible woman you are.” – Drake
Stop Visiting The Same Places
As per the above point, you are going to remember them everywhere and anywhere. You will not even know what will make you think of them. This just not includes possession but also the places you visited with them.
Yes, you are going to remember them when you go to the places you visited together with them. You have made memories with them at the places. So in order to avoid the memories of them, if possible, don't visit the same places you went with them.
“If we believe that tomorrow will be better, we can bear a hardship today.” – Thich Nhat Hanh
Lifestyle Change
It is a given that this person will have a huge impact on your lifestyle if they have been in your life for a long time. They are still going to be a part of your lifestyle and influence it even after they are no longer physically present. So in order to change that, you need to change your lifestyle.
You are already doing that by focusing and changing yourself. But if it is possible, then change your location. It might sound too much, but it will help you focus on other things than them; note that it is not a guarantee you will forget them, but you will be occupied enough not to be reminded of them.
“If you love them, then love in the way that frees them. Build them up. Grow them and let them grow you. Love that is confining, restrictive, and full of laws is love born out of the desperation of loneliness.” – Jm Storm
Meeting New People
Meeting new people and making new friends will immensely help you to forget them. You will have enough distractions not to let your brain pop their thoughts out of nowhere. Your conversation with your friends will bring them up, and that is going to happen. You cannot escape it neither you nor your friends can completely avoid bringing them up.
But those new people whom you will be making friends with will not be knowing about them. This will be like a blessing since they will not be able to ask questions about them or bring them up in a conversation as much as your old friends would. Hence, you will be reminded of them less and less.
“When another person makes you suffer, it is because he suffers deeply within himself, and his suffering is spilling over. He does not need punishment; he needs help. That’s the message he is sending.” – Thich Nhat Hanh
Cut All Connections
Keeping in contact with that person will do nothing but trouble you and will bring misery for you. Block them from your contacts, from your social media, or basically anywhere.
Do not meet them or text them through Instagram, Facebook, Skype, or Whatsapp. Literally, make them disappear from your life. If you don't talk to them, then it will be far better for you to forget them.
“Closure happens right after you accept that letting go and moving on is more important than projecting a fantasy of how the relationship could have been.” – Sylvester McNutt
Don't Try Removing Them From Your Conscious
It is a psychological fact that the more you try to forget someone, the more you are going to be reminded of them. This will not work-you constantly telling and enforcing your mind to forget them. It will just make you remind them more. You need to stop that if you really want to get over them and move on.
“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” – Rumi
Expressing Your Feelings
You need to let out your emotions, your pain, and your frustrations. If you have mutual friends, then it is not going to help you much ranting in front of them.
But writing your feelings down will be so much of a better option. Trust me; writing is more therapeutic than anyone can imagine. And you won't have to worry about being judged.
So what are you waiting for? Grab a pen and a diary or journal and start writing. Even if you are unclear what to write, even if you just end up with ugly scribbles all over the paper-it doesn't matter. Only you are going to see it again in the future. So just go with what you feel like and pen down your feelings.
“If I want to be loved as I am, I have to be willing to love others as they are.” – Louise Hay
Set and Try To Achieve Goals
Keeping yourself occupied is the best treatment you can give yourself when going through something like this. So set goals and started working for them. It can be small goals initially, and you can gradually increase them. Keep reminding yourself that you are going to get through this hard phase of your life. All you need to do is keep yourself distracted.
“We do not heal the past by dwelling there. We heal the past by living fully in the present.” – Marianne Williamson
Traveling
Traveling will be like a gift that you will give to yourself in such time. A change in the place, environment, atmosphere, or your life pace will do you better—no need to mope around in your place and be reminded of them every single moment.
You don't have to go to some lavish place. Just a change will be more than enough for the required amount of days. Explore and discover new things, discover yourself. It will also make it possible for you to meet new, interesting people and make new friends.
“Give yourself the love you seek, and the universe will send people who match it.” – Abraham Hicks
Conclusion
If you want to forget someone and get over them, there will be some things you need to follow.
● Reprogramme your mind and yourself.
● Understand why you fell for them in the first place and try to undo those facts and feelings. This will also make you realize that they are no longer the same person you fell in love with and that you can live without them.
● Remove the memories that haunt you and make you suffer.
● Remove their name and image from your conscious and heart, so it stops affecting you when you hear that again.
Being unable to forget someone really sucks, and the journey for forgetting them will surely be very hard. But you must take control of your emotions, life, and yourself and do it correctly to achieve your goal of moving on easily and successfully.