The person who you are going to spend your entire life with is none other than you yourself. You read it correctly. No one is going to be with you always for all of your life- except for you. So, it is only obvious to get to know the person properly with whom you are going to spend your entire life. Am I right?
While finding your true self can be adventurous; but also complex and draining. And you may still be not a hundred percent sure of who you really are. That is okay, though. It is understandable if you fail to find yourself irrespective of your age. Maybe this could be the reason that more than half of the population of the world just don’t bother to make efforts to find themselves. Instead, they would rather choose to believe what the others have told them about them. In other words, they choose to believe in the people’s perception of them instead of finding out for themselves.
And it is not just for yourself. It is also going to be beneficial to the people around you if they got to know the real you. This is how you are going to be valuable to them, and they are going to know the boundaries and the way they need to be with you.
Finding and transforming yourself into the real you is a part of nature. Even animals and trees do that. Like how plants blossom when they have completely evolved in what they were supposed to be. The way the snake sheds its skin to get the new beneath. And how does the butterfly have to go through days of transformation, literally being melted in goo and then emerging out as one of the most beautiful creatures on earth, in the end.
However, it will not be a simple task. It can be really difficult for some people. It requires breaking yourself up and sometimes erasing what you are now and what you know of yourself; before you build your new self back up. You will have to recognize first who you are and then follow on the path to achieve your true self.
One might discover some truth about themselves which they might not like and will have a difficult time adjusting and accept. It can also be painful because, for some people finding themselves can risk losing a few important people in their lives. But it is for the better in the end. If they leave you when you are on the journey of self-discovery, then they were never good for you.
You will be open to many scars and experiences during the process of finding yourself. And you will be mentally vulnerable too. I know it sounds scary and daunting, but you need not to. It must actually be embraced to experience alternative possibilities to the life you will have after your achievement. And it is worth all the pain and difficulties you will bear during the process.
How to find yourself
Now, you will need guidance to walk you through the journey of discovering yourself. The following points will help you on your way to do that.
Know Your Story
Your past will surely have an influence on your personality and must have also fabricated it. But it is not necessary that you are what your past has made into you. Your past does not define you. And to know your true self, the first and foremost step is to explore your past.
Try to explore and make sense of what has conspired in your past. Oftentimes, there have been some unresolved issues or traumas taken place in our past that have made us into who we have become today.
These things, if left unresolved, can be destructive to us. These experiences have shaped or bent us into the person who we are today. Running away from them will only make us feel lost and not knowing ourselves.
For example, according to psychological studies, strict parents raise better liars. So, who we are today also depends on the way we were treated in our past, especially in our early childhood.
To reflect back on your past and try to get some insights. You will find the starting point for your self discovering journey through those insights.
Feeling Comfortable In Your Own Skin
Think back on your life. There will be a moment, an hour, or a day that had made you feel comfortable with the way you were in it. Do you remember what you were or how you were in that precise time of that experience? That’s it!
That is who you really are.
It can be at a given period of your life. Whether you were out with a friend, alone at home, learning something, or just enjoying yourself, it doesn’t matter. It can be even a split second where you were so sure of yourself and your abilities. That is the moment that was all about your real self.
Try to explore and recreate the same experience that made you feel at peace with your own self. This way, you can work on finding your true self and recreating those experiences.
Trying New Things
This is the most practical and common way to find yourself. You must have the knowledge, but exploring is always going to expand your intellect and boundaries. And most of the time, people find their true self while they are trying new things. It is also always great to push yourself more to reach new horizons.
Get out of your comfort zone because that is when greater things will start happening in your life. It can be anything big or small. It can be you trying to learn cooking and maybe finding out that you are cut out to be a professional chef. You might try new classes about fashion and discover your passion and talent for the same. So you find ways to step towards becoming one.
Like Mentioned, new things can bring out the traits in you that you yourself were not aware of, and it will lead to discovering the true you. Even if it doesn’t work out, you won’t be left empty-handed. You are going to gain experience and maybe wisdom. At least you will be sure of what you are not.
Sort Out Your Priorities
You don’t know what is important for you in your life or what you feel about certain things in your life. Not unless you take time and give it a serious thought.
What do you feel passionate about?
What are the things that make you tick?
What can you do with or without?
What things make a long-lasting effect on you?
Think and mull over these questions and do it multiple times and come up with a precise answer. One which you will not be able to change anymore. There should not be any more doubts about the answer that you will get after that.
The answer you will get in that will be the core of your being. Once you discover your core values, then you can work your way towards honoring them and act accordingly.
Practicing being mindful of your actions, reactions, thoughts, or, in general, your being is one of the ways to your self-discovery. Try to practice this in your life. It can seem a little intimidating, but it is not. All you need is to keep your focus.
If you are having difficulties, then you can try meditation. It will not only help you feel focused but will also make you feel one with yourself. It will be better if you do it in isolation or at a secluded place, with as much quiet as possible.
It will also enable you to learn introspection. And introspection is one of the most helpful ways to finding or discovering your true self. You will also notice your increase in concentration and you being less distracted than before once you start practicing it.
Being Okay With Your Situation
As I have mentioned before, this journey is not easy, and it may also result in something you like. You may go through many losses during the process. You may lose some friends or your dear ones while finding yourself. Or people may not like the new you once you know who you really are.
Remember that it is impossible to please everyone and make them happy. If you try to do that, it will be you who will be left depressed and sad. You are not responsible for everyone’s happiness when it comes to you. But you surely are responsible for making yourself happy because you are the person who will not be leaving yourself till the end.
So, even if it is a natural human nature to be liked and pleasing to others. Hence you need to be okay with the fact that not everyone is going to like you after your discovery like they used to do before.
Shut Out Your Negative Thoughts
We are more negative than positive. Positivity often needs to be developed, but it is not the same with negativity. If you notice, most of our thoughts in a day are negative, unless you are a person who has trained your mind to think positively by practicing it. It is not a problem until the thoughts start to affect you.
It is never good to believe your negative thoughts about yourself. It will hinder you from living and enjoying your life. If you will start to believe those thoughts, then they will eventually become a part of your identity. And it is obviously not good for that to happen.
So, in order to not let that happen, then you need to stop acknowledging your negative thoughts that you harvest for yourself. It is the present you should focus on and nothing else.
We tend to be more forgiving to other people than we do to ourselves. This is a harsh reality for many of us. Especially the ones who are feeling lost. We are more strict and critical to ourselves than we are to others. We find it hard to forgive ourselves for our mistakes, but we can do that in a heartbeat for a friend or family.
Being this critical to yourself will not help you at all. You need to be gentle with yourself too. This is a form of self-love. Do not go self-sabotaging yourself. It won’t help you grow; rather, it will do the opposite.
If you can do that for your friend, family, or any other person and be forgiving for them, then why can’t you do that for yourself?
Learn to forgive yourself as well. Be kind and forgiving to yourself just the way you are kind and forgiving to others. It will help you grow and will eventually be a means of you finding yourself.
Once you have a least a bit of idea of who you really are, then the next obvious step is to take action. You now know better of who you are, where your happiness lies, and what you need to achieve to meet with the real you. Then what else are you waiting for? Go and get what you wanted. Discover your true self.
Remember that it may seem daunting and complex, it may also take time, and you might be doubtful of doing it. But all your efforts and those difficulties you will go through will be worth it. There is a reward you will receive after going through everything.
That reward is you get to meet your true self and discover who you really are. And it is one of the best presents anyone can receive. So, stop wasting any more time and get ready to set forth and win your reward.