"Comparison is the thief of joy," says a powerful phrase that can change your life. If we compare ourselves to other people, we may feel inferior or superior, and neither of these feelings is good for our emotions.
When we compare ourselves to what other people have or how they are, we make ourselves feel small and inadequate, and we have low self-esteem to match. With social media being a place where we can show off every part of our lives, there are high expectations for us to earn a certain amount of money, own the most up-to-date materials, and look a certain way. As humans, it's only natural that we'll fall into the trap of self-comparison.
When we want to get better, we compare ourselves to better people than us. This is especially true if we compare ourselves to people we think we can be like.
For example, superstar seniors are more motivating to first-year students than their fellow seniors.
Why is comparison the thief of joy?
The concept of competing or comparing is not inherently harmful. However, comparing ourselves to others leads us to believe that we are not good enough when we may be excellent.
● Never compare yourself to others, rather compare yourself to an earlier version of yourself.
● You will be able to see how much you have changed and how much farther you must go to be even one percent (1%) better than you were before.
● Everything you do should be approached with a single aim in mind: to accomplish the same thing better each time and improve yourself with each passing day. That is how you maintain achieving new objectives consistently.
How to stop comparing yourself to others?
1. Be considerate in any situation
When you make a comparison, think about what you want to do. The only way you can be more like your best friend when you compare yourself is to think about how you can evolve more like them. Let's agree that we like to compare ourselves. You have not to pay too much attention to this comparison to do this.
You can see it for what it is, a way our brain likes to figure out how we're doing. So, we need to look at it. It's not always the truth and not always very useful, so we need to figure that out.
2. Be thankful for everything
Be grateful for everything you have and the small things that happen in your life.
● Is there a kind bus driver who makes your day brighter?
● Is there a daily cup of coffee you grab on your way to work? There is always something to be grateful for.
● Is there a candlelit dinner you had with your closest friends? As soon as they happen, thank them. That way, you are always thinking about how lucky you are. And soon, you won't even know you're doing it.
3. Be strong always
It could be that if you don't think you are flexible or firm, you won't compare yourself to a gymnast and feel bad about yourself. When and where do you get the most excited?
A lot of the time, you'll see that the comparisons are the most upsetting when they look like something you value or something that you think other people value, as well. These values should be written down to see them in writing and decide if they are true or not.
4. Go out more often
When you find yourself thinking about how you compare to other people, step outdoors and take a stroll around the block. Heading outdoors and living in the refreshed air, taking in the gorgeous landscape, moving your body, and connecting with nature can help you get rid of any negative sensations you may be experiencing.
5. Be positive always
It's possible that you're depressed because you're always comparing yourself to others. You may consider how much talent has progressed through time, how much worse a situation might be than it is now, or how many people see you as a role model at this point in your life.
6. Look at things from a new angle.
When we look at the truth in our comparisons, we should remember that we are only seeing from one point of view. In a virtual meeting, you don't point the camera at the messy desk or the dirty floor, and you also don't show people the dirty sink or the mismatched socks. This is like the camera on a laptop that you use for a virtual meeting.
7. Don't be paralyzed by fear.
Your life is a gift to be savored. We all have worries about failure, not reaching our full potential, or living our most remarkable lives. Fears cause us to freeze, fight, or flee. Our fears will confine us until we learn to adjust and regulate our connection with them. We can live our best lives if we know to be more brave and move past our anxieties in the discomfort of action.
8. Take action when needed
Maybe we can use comparison to help us figure out what we want to accomplish, achieve, and be. Rather than obsessing on how you aren't it, utilize it to motivate you to become it. Taking action is different from looking at things from the outside.
9. Believe in yourself
Remember the times when God answered your prayers or blessed you in unexpected ways. These occurrences are supposed to show that God wants you to delight in His blessings and love even amid hardship. When we compare ourselves to others, though, we prevent ourselves from considering such gifts.
10. Quit jealousy
When we compare our energies to the lives of others, we tend to idealize that existence. We desire what it would be like to be like them somehow. When we don't achieve our objective, we may become jealous of the individual instead of looking up to them as role models or friends. Jealousy is a strong feeling that may leave us with a sour taste of bitterness, poor self-esteem, and unreasonable expectations.
11. Find the root
Remember where you compare yourself the most in your life. Is it your job, marriage, money, skills as a parent, wealth, or talents? It's time to consider how you can move away from the source of comparing yourself to someone else.
12. Practice gratitude
It's incredible how even minor acts of compassion can make us more likely to be kind instead of selfish. Do this by looking for natural ways to help other people, such as
● It's a good thing to help your elderly neighbor rake leaves.
● Taking a home-cooked meal to a family in need offers to look after your friend's kids.
● Volunteering at a food pantry, library, or animal shelter is an excellent way to meet new people and help people in need. There are no boundaries to what you can do when you're in the proper mind structure.
Conclusion-
Don’t compare yourself to others, it is as simple as that. Since what others have might be newer, prettier, or better somehow, it makes us less valuable when we own things that are the same as what others have.
Do not compare your achievements and failures with other people because you don't know how hard they had to work to get there. The most suitable way to do this is to focus on your best and do what you have to.
Ayush Bhargav
Positive Vibes Only
With just a scroll through social media, we're presented with snippets of other people's polished lives, leading to an inevitable match-up against our own day-to-day realities. However, this habit of comparing can have deep-seated effects on our mental health and overall happiness. The key lies in shifting our focus from external benchmarks to internal growth and contentment.
Emphasizing Unique Personal Journeys
One crucial perspective to adopt is the acknowledgment of each person's unique journey. No two paths are identical, and what may seem like a seamless achievement for one could have been a herculean struggle fraught with numerous hidden challenges. Recognizing that everyone faces different circumstances, and has different timelines, helps mitigate the feelings of inadequacy that comparisons might breed.
The Value of Internal Benchmarks
Instead of looking outward for validation, setting personal benchmarks and celebrating individual progress, irrespective of others' achievements, can be more fulfilling. This involves setting personal goals that are aligned with one's values, strengths, and passions. Achieving these goals should be the measure of success, not how one stacks up against peers or societal standards.
Mindfulness and Self-Compassion
Practicing mindfulness can also play a pivotal role in curtailing the urge to compare. By being present in the moment and acknowledging our thoughts and feelings without judgment, we can gently steer our mind away from detrimental comparisons. Coupled with self-compassion, which involves treating oneself with kindness during moments of perceived failure or inadequacy, mindfulness helps foster a healthier self-image.
The Role of Genuine Connections
Fostering genuine relationships is another antidote to the comparison trap. In authentic relationships, there is less room for envy and more space for mutual support and admiration. These relationships emphasize shared happiness and collective growth, rather than competition.
Celebrating Others' Successes
A shift in perspective from jealousy to joy over others' successes can also diminish the sting of comparison. By genuinely celebrating the achievements of others, we open ourselves up to positive emotions and reduce feelings of envy. This shift not only improves our emotional well-being but also strengthens our relationships by fostering a sense of community and support.
Engaging in New Experiences
Regularly engaging in new experiences can also redirect focus from comparison to personal development. Whether it's learning a new skill, exploring a new place, or simply changing up a daily routine, new experiences enrich our lives, broaden our perspectives, and enhance our self-esteem.
Detachment from Social Media
Limiting exposure to social media is a practical step towards reducing comparison. Social media platforms are curated displays of high points in peoples' lives, rarely reflecting their everyday realities. Reducing screen time, or following accounts that promote positivity and realism, can help maintain a balanced view of oneself and others.
The Journey to Self-Acceptance
Ultimately, the journey to reducing comparison is deeply tied to the journey of self-acceptance. Embracing one’s flaws and imperfections, just as much as one's strengths and successes, crafts a wholesome self-view that is less likely to falter under comparison.