“The Desire for a more positive experience is itself a negative experience. And, Paradoxically, The acceptance of one’s negative experience is itself a positive experience”
- Mark Manson
Life is a balance of positives and negatives every day. You feel happy, that’s great. You feel bad, it’s fine. Let it cool down. The balance breaks when you start expecting too much positivity.
It breaks completely when you are not ready to accept negative experiences. You need positives to inspire. You need negatives to grow. But, if you expect everything to be positive around you, it can disappoint you easily. A lot of expectations can go sideways.
Positive experiences in life are a morale boost. There is no place for second thoughts about it. It gives you the confidence to move forward. But, is it good to look for it every time? If you ask me, the answer would be No.
if I keep looking only for positive experiences in life I could lose focus on the reality that’s in my hands. To take life as it comes will become difficult. The mind only desires what you expected. It will not be ready to expect and accept the unexpected.
On the other hand, with every negative experience in life, I learn a lesson. I get a piece of reality. Understanding what went wrong and what could have been better will be easy. To grow forward will be smoother and wiser.
Take both positive and negative experiences in life. Build yourself with it. Life’s a balance that holds both good and bad equally. Taking them both and growing is the best thing to do. This quote is a piece of reality we need to keep reminding ourselves.
“Do what you can with all you have, wherever you are”
- Theodore Roosevelt
How do we take on life? You do it by taking your first step. That is how every success journey we heard so far took place. It all begins with a first step.
Always, do what you can and do it with all you have. Even if there’s nothing left for you, you have your will. It’s an indestructible asset for you. With the will you have, confidently take your first step towards your goals.
Don't look for a perfect stage to begin your journey. You have to start where you are. Possibilities and opportunities will not wait for you till you feel like you are where you want to be.
So, start where you are in life right now. It’s doesn't matter if you are struggling, or growing or successful. If you have to do something in life, do it from where you are. With every step you take, the success becomes closer and closer. If you can do it, then do it with all your efforts, hard work, time and energy.
We heard people saying that they are waiting for the right time. Sometimes, you can’t wait that long. You have to begin now. Achievers around us are good examples. They don’t wait for the right time. They don’t mind where they are in life. They simply do what they can with what they have. Eventually, it takes them places.
“Don’t let yesterday take up too much of today”
- Will Rogers
Let’s be honest here. The past does take up too much of our time. We can’t help it. It will take some time for us to emotionally break the wall of the past and walk forward.
You cannot just come out. It’s not the right way too. You need time. Take that time. Process it. Learn from it. But to heal from it, you need to get up. Don’t stay in the ‘yesterday’ longer.
It only takes too much of your time and energy. The result will always be unproductive. We all have experienced it. Yet, we still keep doing it.
Putting our thoughts and energy to what happened in the past will wear us down physically and emotionally. But, if you look today, it’s a new start to do things better than yesterday.
Every day when you wake up, you get a chance to make things right. You can make the ‘past’ heal better by taking ‘present’ in your hands and making it happy.
Every little thing you do today can impact your happiness for tomorrow. Remind yourself that, when you look down the past, it yields no good for you and you know it.
So, start giving importance to your present. Only take the lessons from the past. Start concentrating on 'Today'. It will be easy for you to work things out with your life. Instead, don't keep spending too much of your time on 'yesterday'.
“Never speak out of anger, never act out of fear, never choose from impatience, but wait... and peace will appear.”
~ Guy Finley
How do you win your day and your life? The answer is simple. Don't speak when you are angry. Don't direct your outcomes in life based on fear. Don't act out of impatience. Wait before you speak. Wait before you decide. When you are angry, don't even wait. Just shut yourself down. Take decisions later. It's winning.
If faced with a difficult the situation in a place, or in your life, do three things. Give a pause. Compose yourself. Wait till you feel a sense of peace and calm in your mind and heart. Finally, do what has to be done. The results will have clarity, and the process will be productive.
Same way, do not allow fear taking you over. Acting out of fear leads to bad outcomes. The entire process becomes unproductive. If you let fear get in your way of life, what you built so far can easily come down.
What happens with impatience? Nothing productive has ever come when you choose from impatience. Tolerance and patience are basic virtues that everyone in life needs. Somehow we forget it on the way and make people's life difficult with our act of impatience.
Don't act out of anger, impatience, or fear. Pause. Bring peace. Finally, act.
Take the variables of money, status, power, success, etc. out of life's equation. What's left is the true winning, i.e., What makes you wonder on the inside is the true victory you need in life.
“What if you gave someone a gift, and they neglected to thank you for it--would you be likely to give them another? Life is the same way. In order to attract more of the blessings that life has to offer, you must truly appreciate what you already have.”
~ Ralph Marston
Experience life with gratitude! You will end up having more. What seemed 'less' will now become 'enough' for you. The true blessing will come pouring in when you appreciate little things in life.
Look at less fortunate people. You have everything that they only have it as a dream. It's easy to say 'life is not fair,' 'I don't have enough' or 'I don't get enough.' What's difficult is to look back and appreciate the blessings we have.
When you want success, get inspired from successful people. When you want happiness in life, look at those who don’t have privileges like you and appreciate life.
If I appreciate what I already have, I end up feeling content, satisfied, and enough.
What is appreciating life? It's not a big task. Appreciating life is simple. To wake up in the morning as you are is a blessing. The food on your table, the place for you to stay, clothes you have, is a blessing. There are people who don't have even such basic necessities in life. Think about people who support you, the job that supports you, and the luxury you have in pursuing your dreams. These are things that you need to appreciate in your life. Not many have this. Not many can appreciate it even if they have it.
Take this quote as a practical example to live your life to the fullest.
“The judgment of others does not change who I am. Quite the opposite is true. It reveals who they are.”
~ Terry McPhearson
When was the last time you received a genuine and spot-on feedback or opinions about you? We have to go searching for it. People appreciating people are becoming lower. Meanwhile, throwing opinions, highlighting flaws, and judgments are becoming higher.
Most of the time, people are caught up with other people’s opinions of themselves. Somehow, it gets into us even though we don’t give importance.
Let’s not do it.
A genuine and encouraging person will express the mistakes and flaws you have as a concern. They don’t judge you. They are concerned about you and trying to point it out to you. It reveals their genuine character.
Instead, look at people who keep finding faults, keep judging people, and throwing unnecessary opinions about others. In the end, it reveals their character and not the other person’s.
Go in the right direction. Choose your path as righteousness. Hold on to your morals. Never lose faith. Work hard as you can. That is enough.
Mistakes happen. We make blunders. But we will learn from it. This learning happens to you, or someone gives it to you in a good way.
Take it. Leave the rest.
Leave other people’s opinions about you. People will never be satisfied until they mold you as they want. Till then, they keep spreading judgments. It reveals who they are and not who you are.
Step away from them as far as you can.
“There are no great people in this world, only great challenges which ordinary people rise to meet.”
– William Frederick Halsey, JR.
Look at all people who are sitting on top of life. They all are ordinary people who keep growing with every obstacle and challenge they meet. Like us, they all have a humble start in life. They became Extraordinary through facing great challenges their way.
The courage and confidence one gains in encountering challenges in life makes them stronger than the rest of the crowd.
Don’t be afraid of challenges. Build yourself physically and mentally to endure any size of challenges that life throws.
What makes people extraordinary from the rest is in two things.
First, they do what they like. They pursue their ideas and goals despite all hardships. They stand for themselves. They stand for the right. The second and foremost reason is, they are ready to meet any challenge that comes their way. The hardest and toughest challenge made them extraordinary.
People who are strong-willed and positive spirit overcome tests and trials in life. They emerge as extraordinary, inspiring individuals.
One can keep quoting examples of successful people, achievers in different fields, and record-setting sportspeople. What is the common thing among them all?
They are ordinary people like you and me. An exception is, they differ in two things. They endure the toughest challenge and come out. They rise step by step with every encounter they meet in life.
The story of amazing people who have accomplished so far in life tells one truth. They are ordinary people like us. But, they keep pushing themselves and raise to meet life in all its glory.
“In doing something, do it with love or never do it at all”
Do what you like. Do it with love.
Do things you like and give your efforts out of your interest and not because of any compulsion or condition. This simple line has the biggest inspiration we all need.
You can also take it this way. Do it with all of your heart, or never do it at all.
Why such emphasis?
Things you do out of love and interest yield more happiness, content, and success. On the contrary, when you do things that you don’t love, it ends up making all your efforts go vain. When you do things that you don’t like or do it out of external factors, you don’t get the true success feeling.
It applies everywhere.
Want to help someone? Do it if you really mean it and love to do it. Else, the essence behind ‘helping.’ gets destroyed.
Want to achieve success in life? Do things that you like and do it with love and interest in it. If there is no passion, there are only poor results.
Don’t work on your dreams and goal if they don’t interest you or you don’t like them. In order to prove yourself to someone or something, don’t do things that you don’t like.
Want to pursue goals in life? Do it with the best of your efforts, and do it with love.
People succeed when there is dedication. People achieve the top when they do it with all of their heart.
Give all your best. Give all that you have and work. You will feel happy.
Do it with love or don’t do at all.
“Scar Tissue is stronger than regular tissue. Realize the Strength, move on.”
- Henry Rollins
Struggles make me stronger. It makes me realize my strengths.
Stronger people are made from their scars in life.
Endurance towards life becomes real for those who are scarred from life’s past.
You probably have seen this visibly in life. People who have suffered in life will have different outlooks and perspectives about what true life is. When compared to those who are still in their happy bubble, the ones who fell out of the bubble become stronger.
Mentally Strong and highly driven people are not born. They are built. Solid foundation in their life is from troubles, challenges and failures they met. They keep building and never stop.
Tough terrains and hard surfaces make the perfect driver, right? Life and people are the same. Tougher the life gets, stringer you become like never before.
When I say I wish for a happy trouble-free life, it means I am definitely living in a bubble.
Life treats us all equally with challenges and rewards, the good and bad. The good makes us finer. The bad makes us stronger.
The times we suffer and endure difficulties will seem forever to us. The pain it causes can break us. This is where strong people are made. They go through everything with self-drive, faith, hope, and vigor in life.
When I overcome everything, I become stronger and pains heal faster.
Scars in your life are medals that honor your endurance, efforts, faith, and confidence you had on yourself.
Embrace that your scars are your real teachers in life. Realize your Strengths. You will come out stronger than titanium!
“Develop an interest in life as you see it; the people, things, literature, music-the world is so rich, simply throbbing with rich treasures, beautiful souls and interesting people. Forget yourself.”
— Henry Miller
Life is more than ‘You.’ Life is not always about ‘You.’ It’s bigger and beautiful. You can see for yourself when you step out of the world of yours.
Develop an interest besides your life and its commitments.
Adventures and travels, peoples, and places have always been an exciting part of life on earth. Strangers could turn out to be the most interesting people you have met so far. Visiting some places and reading some books could turn out to be a game-changer in your life. A random person could teach you a life lesson that could impact till the end.
Get out and experience life’s beautiful things than your everyday routines.
When you step outside the circle of your life, you can experience truly beautiful things and wonderful souls in life. Once in a while, step out. Look at the world as it is. Embrace life.
Despite the good and bad, life is still happening around us. The life is filled with some wonderful souls who keep the earth up and running.
We all get caught up in life with our commitments and to-do lists. What we forget and don’t see is that there’s a beautiful part of life on earth that is running quietly.
Explore life outside your circle.
Life is filled with extraordinary souls, magnificent places, wonderful books and beautiful things.
Forget yourself and see this life happening on earth.
“Finish every day and be done with it. You have done what you could; some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; you shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.”
— Ralph Waldo Emerson
If you are looking to get through the day successfully and happily, take this quote straight.
People stress over getting all things in life to a perfect halt. They need everything to be perfect from dawn till dusk. In reality, there is no such perfection. Life itself looks beautiful with all its imperfections, flaws, the good and the bad.
Don’t look for perfection in your day. Instead, begin your day and end your day giving best of your efforts.
Let your day end peacefully.
All I can do is give the best of efforts, get as productive as I can to my knowledge and be done with the day. If there’s a mistake or blunder, I’ll have the chance to correct it tomorrow.
If I spend time remembering my blunders and mistakes, the beauty of the day gets ruined.
Think about the next day as a fresh start.
Wake up in high spirits and don’t let yesterday ruin your today.
Here’s a little secret for a good day and good life. Don’t stress over bad things, or unproductive days. You got your next day to set everything straight. Don’t worry over your ‘yesterday’. Don’t overthink about ‘tomorrow’. You have ‘Today’. Give your best and be done with it. Have a fresh start the next morning. Don’t overthink. Take your day as it is !
“Sometimes you don’t need a goal in life; you don’t need to know the big picture. You just need to know what you’re going to do next!”
- Sophie Kinsella
We all will come to a place in life where there is no direction. We feel completely blank. We see nothing in front of us. We don’t know where to start, how to start, or find a way.
Blank space in life happens to everyone.
Don’t stress yourself over goals. Don’t worry about what’s going to happen.
All you need to know is what you will do next. That’s it.
Don’t worry about the big picture. Just do the next thing you feel like doing!
Often times, you have to take things lightly. You can get through life easier that way.
When everything gets dark, I may not be in luxury to think about goals and dreams. But, confidently, I can take the next step that I can towards the light.
After battling with life challenges and tasks, I will come to a halt. I may not see a way. The goals I had, the plans I made, could have already gone ashore. I will feel like I am in the middle of a deserted place. You all have, or you all, maybe going through this phase in life. It’s fine.
This is where you need to take the next step confidently. Do it with the best of your efforts. Even if there’s no plan or goal, go for the next positive step for in your life.
Don’t worry. Whenever life puts you down, take the next step that you can.
“Self-control is strength. Calmness is mastery. You have to get to the point where your mood doesn’t shift based on insignificant actions of someone else. Don’t allow others to control the direction of your life. Don’t allow your emotions to overpower your intelligence.”
The two powerful weapons you need in your life are Self-Control and Calmness. Master them both, you master the world. This quote rightly points it out.
Self-control is the true strength. Calmness is the true mastery one needs.
Calmness is truly a life-enhancing trait. Don’t take calmness as always being calm, or, not standing up for anything or not speaking or shutting people away.
We attribute calmness to five things.
· Good head space free of negativities.
· Positive headspace filled with faith, good vibes, courage, kindness, respect and confidence.
· Good mental space that can ‘limit’ or even ‘be free’ from stress, agitations, unnecessary thoughts, overthinking and all other negativities.
· A sense of content, being grateful, appreciating life, and expressing gratitude shows how peaceful and calm you have become in life.
· Talking less and spending less on distractions and Working More
Self-control is in two ways:
The physical self-control is about taking care of your health, and your fitness. Exercising self-control over things or habits that bring damage to you physically is essential. A healthy body is your asset.
Mental Self-Control is about differentiating good and bad and staying away from the bad. It is also about staying away from negativities and not being part of any negativity.
Good Self-Control and a sense of Calmness will make you immune from their bad traits. Bring Self-Control. Bring Calmness. You will become impervious to other’s opinions, emotions, and all other negative external factors.
“The most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart.”
- Helen Keller
Beautiful things in life can vary for you and me. But there are other most beautiful things in life. They are the same for us all. Kindnesses, respect, positivity, success, reaching goals, being a reason for someone’s happiness are a few worth mentioning. You cannot see it. But you can feel it in the heart.
Smile is a beautiful thing. Though we can see it, the true feeling of it is felt only inside your heart.
Hard work and efforts behind a success may or may not be seen visibly. But, the results and success out of your hard work give a beautiful feeling that can only be felt inside the heart.
Kindness is the most beautiful thing in the world that is truly felt with the heart.
Spreading positivity, sending good vibes cannot be seen visibly but only felt with the heart.
People can ask questions like ‘I can see the help I did’, ‘I am doing this positive thing’, ‘I am working hard’ etc. Indeed, you can see the help you did, or the efforts you put. But how do you know it is good? Sending a positive note for a stranger can be seen. But its true beauty is in a warm feeling felt in your heart.
Unless you feel it in the heart that it is good and positive, they are just acts. That is why; beautiful feelings and things cannot be seen or touched but only felt in the heart.
The most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or touched, but only felt.
“Do not be discouraged by the distance you still have to travel. Instead, appreciate how many ‘life miles’ you have already covered. Your struggles have changed you into a stronger and better person. Don’t let anyone dissuade you from blooming into the person you are meant to be. Keep Walking.”
- Dodinsky, Author, In the Garden of Thoughts.
Probably heard this a lot, but here it is one more time. “Life is a Journey”. There’s no destination but a constant journey. You know what makes the journey interesting? To look back and see the distance we traveled so far.
Life’s interesting part is in looking back. It’s Retrospection.
Life can seem a little off when you worry about how much distance you still have to travel.
Where I am now, is because of all the good and bad that I have crossed and handled in life.
Handle every hurdle that life throws and bask in every flower shower that life gives us. That is how you take life. Only then, you can happily go forward.
If I am worried about how far I should go, I become demotivated or I may quit. But, if I look back and see the life miles I have covered so far, I get the confidence to still keep going.
When life gives you trouble, it means you are getting stronger day by day. You are becoming a better person every day. Keep going. Let’s not be discouraged by what life holds.
Instead, let’s look back. See how we have traveled so many life miles till date with hope, confidence, and faith.
“The man who fears losing has already lost.”
- George R.R. Martin.
What stops people the most? It’s fear. What stops people from achieving? It’s the same Fear.
Fear of losing, fear of being ridiculed, fear of failures has stopped people from achieving and pursuing what they want in life.
The moment you fear losing, it means you have already lost in the game. Don’t give in to fear. Instead, let go of fear and try.
Sometimes there will be fear and self-doubts whether or not we will make it. But, if we let the fear take over, we lose that moment without even trying.
‘I tried, but I lost’ differs from ‘I never tried because I am afraid’ . Learn the huge meaning that both things have.
Fear comes because of different factors. The main being, low self-esteem and low self-confidence you have in yourself. It’s what’s stopping you from moving forward.
If there is a lack of knowledge there is a fear and hesitation to take things forward. But even those who are less skilled have succeeded because they are self-confident and fearless. They don’t stop with fear. They try.
I can attribute many things to my fear. But I have to get out of it. If I stay in fear, I lose many positive things in life. I could lose opportunities and possibilities when I am afraid.
Another mistake people do is, ‘what if I lose’. The ones who are fearful of losing have already lost. There is not much to appreciate for them except the losing.
The ones who are without fear will try and try. Even if they lose, they are ready to take it.
We can find many reasons to justify our fear of doing things.
Let’s stay fearless.
“The chances you take, the people you meet, the people you love, the faith that you have. That’s what’s going to define you.”
- Denzel Washington
I am the result of my faith, my decisions, the chances I took, and people that I have in life.
The more good decisions I make and the more positive people I have, the happier my life becomes.
If I don’t have the decent fundamentals to become a good human being, then what am I? Let us all ask this question to ourselves once in a while and get back on track.
Social status, the power, the money, and the Ivy League education is not what defines anyone. If that is what matters to you, think again. External factors like them can only contribute to a bare-minim percentage of your life.
What’s important is how you are on the inside.
What happens when I lost all of it or some of it? Will people move away? Genuine people will not! Others will definitely go away when they no longer benefit from your money and everything else.
Some People stay with you no matter what happens. It’s because there is some fundamental good in you that is making them stay amidst all your life’s troubles.
Faith that I have clearly defines me. People who have faith towards humanity, hope, courage, confidence, and goodwill will always cherish the surrounding life.
Faith in good things will make the life we live beautiful and meaningful.
Once again, remember. External factors are not going to define who you are.
Good faith, positive decisions, and good people that I have earned in life defines me the most.
“We all have self-doubt. You don’t deny it, but you also don’t capitulate to it. You embrace it.” - Kobe Bryant
Ever thought about “I don’t know if I could do it”? If the answer is yes, then welcome aboard. Everyone including ‘you’ and ‘me’ has gone through this.
Besides, even achievers and performers have asked the same question to themselves at one point.
We all have self-doubts.
Self-doubts will come but, if you make them stay with you, you stay there and don’t move forward.
Embracing that I have flaws and self-doubts is a good thing. It makes me want to improve and see where I go wrong. I get to understand what is stopping me when I embrace my flaws and self-doubts.
What’s wrong here is yielding to self-doubts that comes to you. When I capitulate to my self-doubts, it means I am not confident in whoever I am. The knowledge, skills, and talents that I have will diminish if I am constantly pulled by self-doubts.
Try. That’s the one ultimate solution to overcome self-doubts. Keep Trying and don’t worry about any results.
Only by Doing & Trying you can come out of self-doubts.
As I said earlier, it’s okay to have self-doubts. It happens to everyone.
But, what makes successful people stand out is, they embrace their self-doubts and bring their will to work better and move forward than their self-doubts. Instead, they don't yield or surrender to their self-doubts.
If you want to achieve in life, keep your "self-doubts" away and Go Try.
When you have self-doubts, that is when you need to train your brain to say “I will try to do and see what happens”.
Never capitulate to the self-doubts.
“Success is no accident. It is hard work, Perseverance, Learning, Studying, Sacrifice and most of all, love of what you are doing or learning to do.”
Success is no accident. One can attribute success to so many things around. Things like families, friends, education, work, skills, and talents could all be part of your success. Apart from them, certain core variables constitute the right success equation.
Among them, the first and foremost variable is ‘doing things that you love’. When you do things that you love, you find every positive outcome as a success even if it’s little. There’s no obstacle for you, but only challenges and opportunities.
By Doing What you LIKE, your focus and hard work falls in line automatically. Constant learning and improvisations will become a part of you.
Above all, it will never seem like hard work for you. The process and journey will be enjoyable. Despite the good and bad, your perseverance will shield you against all the odds.
Success needs some sacrifices from you. It takes at least a little. Success will ask you to sacrifice your comfort zone.
Working towards your dreams and goals can make you sleepless and stay awake without a count. Sometimes, success needs you to work at the cost of all the fun things you thought you could do.
The list goes on. But there is no success at the cost of families, friendships, and other good things in life. I like to remind you here.
Finally, do what you like. Do it with the best of your efforts. Success wraps you eventually.
“Great Leaders are almost always great Simplifiers, who can cut through argument, debate, and doubt to offer a solution everybody can understand.”
- Colin Powell
What makes the person a great leader? Many things! One such forte is, Leaders are simplifiers. They don’t obscure things.
Good Leadership is all about making things easier. Also, leadership is about effectively handling complications and create none.
Leaders don’t extend the problems anymore. Getting the right answers will be their key focus. They spend more time in bringing solutions instead of debating and arguing.
Leaders don’t just bring any solution to the table. Their answers will be the best solutions that everyone could agree with. How do they do it? They take everything as a challenge instead of an obstacle. The mind keeps working about ‘What we could do next’ instead of worrying. Leaders think for everyone and what's workable and appropriate for people around them.
Leaders look for valid arguments and debates to understand the challenge. They don’t have time for drags on opinions and discussions.
It’s difficult to give solutions that quickly. To cut through every doubt and argument will need more expertise and experience. Good leaders are best at this. They will be good at giving concise, focused and yet simpler solutions.
The way people handle problems and finding appropriate solutions can showcase their leadership qualities.
For those who want to be a good leader, this quote will help you understand what it takes.