Are you tired of your relationships? Are you in a relationship with people who demotivate you, pass frequent judgments often, try to manipulate you in your decisions, and not let you be a free bird? Does it drain out your entire energy and suck you through different emotional attachments?
Are you maintaining relationships with who are self-centered and they are the one who cares only for them? But even if knowing all these things, you are still in a relationship with them. You let them suck you through different channels, and you still keep going to them. They draw on your shoulders their map where you will never find your own location. They create fossils on your grave.
Now let us just talk about what kind of toxic people you can have in your environment. When you encounter a toxic person, your body rejects some kind of energy. Your inner instinct will start acting up bad. This entire energy disturbs your flow.
It is better to stay away from such people in whom you find a single trait of being toxic from the following-
1. People who keep dominating-
Often there are many people in society who wants everything to work on their terms. They are obsessed with their ideas and thinking that they won't let others' ideas sustain forward. They would even want to dominate you in your own personal life.
They want your decisions to be taken on their terms. (Sometimes, your decisions about career and education are strictly rejected or not agreed upon by any of your family members. Your team leader might not accept your ideas and dominate his thinking over the team.)
2. People who keep boasting –
Some people have a habit of boasting about the things they have. They keep letting people down and treating them as inferior to them. They would even sometimes morally degrade you.
They would let you think that you lack of many things and lower your self-esteem through it. (A rich kid in your friend circle who keeps boasting about his father's money. Your colleague, who is in an upper position to you in your company and keeps treating you inferior to him.)
3. The victim card-
Sometimes the people you give empathy to always are not really you should concern about. You realize that you spend most of your time solving their problems. They always find themselves or many a time create it themselves which don't even exist for them.
They think that suffering only thing they are served with. This suffering can have a negative impact on you. They not only suffer by themselves but also involve you to go through a lot.
4. The manipulating player-
It is said that we are what our friend circle is. Our social environment has a lot of impact on our minds. Their behavior, thinking, and approach have a lot to do with us. These people are very hard to recognize as they always show up like they do everything for our sake.
They are very familiar to you and always show like they are there for you. But they are the real snakes who will suck us when we aren't aware. They are just with you for their benefits. Once they are done with you, they would not even care to look back. (There might be your friend who shows he is supporting you in your studies but is completely misguiding you.)
5. The judgment passer –
This type of people will always have something to point out in you. They have a problem with everything that you do. Whenever you are on your success path, they will drag you back by passing comments which will demotivate you.
They will always show that you have nothing to do good, bypassing their judgments literally in everything. (The colleague at your work who keeps finding mistakes in everything you do. The aunt staying next door who passes comments on everything you wear or people you meet.)
6. The gossip queen –
Some people have a habit of interfering in others' life. They are more interested in what the people around them are doing in their personal and professional life. Later they make it their gossip topics and start discussing it with everyone.
They simply want to talk about their mistakes, how wrong someone is, and how bad someone is. They create a false image of a person in someone else's mind. (Your family member who is more interested in other people's occupation or even marital life. Even your friend who keeps telling you about everyone on social media about how fake they are and what they actually are in their life.)
7. The fake compliment giver –
There are people who just keep talking good about you on your face. They just try to create a false illusion of them in your mind of how good they are. They would even tell you that you are doing right, even if you are on the wrong track.
They just want to develop a safe image around you. These people are toxic to you as they would mislead you on your path. (That member in your family who gives fake compliments only to win you.)
8 . One who is jealous of you –
You may be having people who just want to compete with you even if you are friends. There might be some of your friends who are jealous of your achievements. They keep complaining about why they cannot be like you. They compare themselves with your lifestyle. They create a total negative definition of being a good friend. (Your friend who compares you in the academic score. The aunt in your family who is jealous of your happy family.)
6 Ways to stay away from toxic people
You need to avoid all these people if you want to achieve mental peace and imbibe positivity around you. But sometimes it is difficult to avoid someone. There may also be many social reasons as of which you cannot stay away from them.
Some of them may even be your family members, friends' circle, teammates, colleagues, or even your boss. It really becomes a challenge for you to stay away from such people. When it comes to your family member, you cannot avoid them because you have some blood relations with them or even if you stay with them. Even in your company, you cannot avoid any of your team members or even your boss because, in the end, you have to work with them.
However, you can maintain some kind of social distance with them if you are really tired of their presence. What can you do is-
1. Do what you want them to do with you –
Rather than thinking about how they will stay away from you, try that you stay away from them. Social distancing can be brought by self-distancing. Now, this can be done by any means. You can sometimes avoid parties, make yourself busy during family gatherings, or even more. Try to avoid as much contact as you can.
2. Stick to your ethics and boundaries –
There should be a limit on everything that you will tolerate about. Let not people cross your borders. Make people aware of your principles. Also, respect your own boundaries so that others will respect them. You can push out a lot of toxicity by only setting and letting your boundaries be defined in a kind manner. Defining and respecting your boundaries is your responsibility only.
3. Accept your own flaws-
Now you may be thinking about what this has to do with the toxicity of other people. There are people who try to take advantage of your flaws. They try to hurt you by poking your weak points. But you can simply avoid this by knowing your own flaws and weakness.
This will help you not to let them leverage through your weakness. Even this provides an area of self-improvement. Knowing your flaws and working on them will boost your self-esteem. It will make you rely less on other people's judgment and thoughts.
4. Know when to get into arguments –
Some people are not worth explaining and understanding. Arguments with such kind of people should be avoided as they would never let your points of view dominate over the conversation.
Sometimes some people just try to instigate you and want to get into an argument with you. It is better to be wise and stay ignorant of them. This will not let you drain yourself and even maintain mental peace.
5. Don't be a shoulder every time –
Some people have a habit of crying over small problems. They don't have the ability to withstand any difficult situation. Many a time, their trauma is much more disgusting than the problems themselves. Even some people have a habit of playing them as a victim in any case.
People who are not happy in their own life often tries to create trauma in others. So it is better not to waste your energy and your valuable time on such kinds of people.
6. Never expect anything –
Expecting leads to disappointment. We often expect many things from our close ones who ultimately hurt us at every point. It is better to start accepting the facts about other people. To start accepting that some people would never change regardless of your innumerable efforts towards them.
They rather would never accept their flaws and about how they can be toxic to many people. It is better for you to keep your mouth shut and not expect any kind of good deed from them. Don't blame others that they haven't eaten much when you have served them a lot.
It is important that you follow all of these to maintain complete peace for you. Your happiness, self-growth, and your well-being lies in your hand and not in others. Yes, it will be difficult to always avoid these kinds of people physically as well as emotionally. It is the path of knowing you have a lot to do with yourself rather than others. It is about you recognizing that you deserve much better.
Well, let me tell you first my definition of toxicity. Actually, the toxicity doesn't only lie in them. But it lies even in the bond that you are holding with them. The attachments you have for them and how you don't want them to leave you. Indeed this is true for everyone!
You literally shred every part of yourself for them. Even after all the grudges and all the complaints you hold for them, you continue to forgive them. You find reasons to overlook their mistakes. You stay unfamiliar with their abusive approach towards you. You make constant efforts to make them better individuals, but your efforts are always in vain. Stop telling yourself that you can fix a broken vase whose pieces you will never find.
Yes, allowing other people in your life is really beautiful. But at the same time, you should learn the habit of letting go. To let go of people who are not at all needed in your environment anymore. Letting go of people who drain your spirit.
You should not regret their absence in your life and should be grateful for what you have. Keeping this toxicity, pushing forward would take you only to the path to lose yourself. If it is destroying you, it has no way in your construction of life.
No matter how much you want someone back in your life, don't go towards them. It is like watching a movie you saw before and not slept that entire night. You should stop building the old history again in your future. Real people will stay with you and be there for your goodwill always. It is the law of nature that positivity attracts positivity.
Hence, cut off everything that drives you away from imbibing positivity. Stop letting others to take over your feelings and thoughts. Stop thinking about what other people will think of you. Get in touch with yourself first.