Here's what a good listener does.
How well do you listen?
Faces the speaker
Looks into the speaker's eyes
Is relaxed, but attentive
Keeps an open mind
Listens to the words and tries to picture what the speaker is saying
Doesn't interrupt or fidget
Waits for the speaker to pause to ask clarifying questions
Tries to feel what the speaker is feeling (shows empathy)
Nods and says "uh huh," or summarizes to let the speaker know he/she is listening
Is this a good time to bring this up considering what else is going on right now?
Is this a good time for me to express myself considering my own emotions and heart issues?
Is this a good time for them to hear me out?
What is the tone in my voice?
What is the tone of my body language?
What is the tone of my heart?
Am I remember to start with a positive comment and pointing out one of their strengths?
Am I being careful to not use words like "always" and "never"?
Am I owning my own stuff and not blaming others or playing the victim?
Is what I am saying a truth that lines up with scripture?
Is what they are saying to me a truth that I need to hear even If their timing, tone, and technique stinks?
Is it possible for me to be teachable, in spite of how I feel, and apply this truth to my life?
Listen and watch for clues to identify the meaning behind the words.
Use appropriate facial expressions that correspond emotionally. Head nodding and verbal cues like 'uh, huh' let the speaker know you are listening and engaged.
3.) Paraphrase/provide feedback
Check for understanding and empathize
4.) Respond appropriately
Encourage respect and understanding with the wording you use. Add information if you have information to add.
"The road to success and the road to failure are almost exactly the same." -- Colin R. Davis
Strong observational skills to fully understand the message being conveyed.
2.) Non-verbal communication
Body languages like posture, gestures, and eye movement.
3.) Being clear
Choosing the right words to deliver a message that's easy to understand.
4.) Being concise
Using fewer, well-chosen words to convey your message.
5.) Being confident
The right message with the appropriate non-verbal communication.
6.) Being personable
A friendly tone and a simple smile can go a long way.
7.) Being patient
Being composed and not rushing when conveying your message.