Often when we are at a party or gathering, there is always a person who boasts about achieving a lot in life. Such people always need to be the center of attention in public places. These self-absorbed people are energy vampires who suck the life out of events or even people.
21 signs of a Self-centered person
Some sure-fire signs let us identify such people so that we can stay clear of them:
1. Don't compromise on opinions:
Self-confident people are sure about their views. They always stick to their viewpoints. They back their opinions with suitable proof. Self-absorbed people are quite the opposite. This is because of their huge ego. They are also unable to accept new concepts because of such rigid views. They,
● Don't shift from their viewpoint even if there is proof to the contrary.
● They feel insulted when their views are being challenged.
2. Abuse friendships:
While making friends, these people may seem fun and charming. But in time, they begin showing their true colors.
● When they realize they can no longer gain from the friendship, they leave their friends.
● They can only be friends with people who hang on to their every word and praise them.
3. No interest in other people:
These people only think of how they can better their position in society. They will not be the first to lend a helping hand unless there is fame or a reward in it for them.
4. Manipulate people:
Self-involved people brainwash others to achieve their goals
● They can twist facts to their advantage and even hurt people to get what they want.
● Due to their self-confidence, they even end up brainwashing people to do their bidding.
5. Blaming others:
Selfish people often think that they are incapable of making mistakes. Whenever something goes wrong, they think other people or things are to blame. E.g., Suppose they arrive late at a party. They would blame their partner or the traffic and forget that it was they who had got delayed at work.
6. Hide their weaknesses:
Self-centered people are very image-conscious. They show an image of perfection wherever they go. But, this is far from the truth.
● These people have many weaknesses, which they mask and seek validation through praise.
● They are unable to get close to people as they cannot show their true selves to others.
7. Focus on outer-self:
People who obsess about their lives are always grooming themselves. Yet, they never think of improving their character or the way they treat other people.
● They never think of spending quality time with others without anything in return.
● Selfish people always go for a person's looks rather than the character. For them, looks are everything.
8. Set a lot of rules:
Self-absorbed people also need to have control over the lives of their loved ones. So they tend to set detailed timetables and rules to follow to maintain their image. They have high expectations of others and criticize people if they aren't met. Some rules are:
● This is how we make meals
● This is what we wear
9. Are very arrogant:
This is one of the main signs that a person is self-centered. Such people will show regular outbursts of their ego. e.g., losing their temper when corrected for genuine mistakes, blaming on losing a game. Since they never think they can do any wrong, they come across as arrogant.
10. Seeing the big picture:
For a self-absorbed person, the world begins and ends with them. It only contains the people who they can control and themselves. They are only concerned with their lives and refuse to see how their actions affect others.
11. No empathy:
These people are incapable of feeling sorry or sad for others. They only feel real concern when it comes to their own lives and feelings. They are not able to console others when they are sad or distressed. It's in their psyche.
12. Devalue others:
This is a quality selfish people share with borderline psycho/sociopaths. Normal people give out criticism in a kind and constructive manner. But, egocentric people :
● Criticize and question the person's abilities instead of the mistake.
● May even abuse the abilities and character of the person, devaluing them as people.
13. Takers, not givers:
We all know people who never take the first step. They will never remember birthdays or offer to help or even gift their friends. These self-obsessed individuals always think they are exceptional. They assume that people must please them all the time.
● People who never call/message first in a relationship or after fights.
● People who never leave places in the way they expect to find them.
14. Devalue others' time:
Selfish people always value their time above others. They think that people must always remain at their beck and call. They get angry if people refuse to entertain them, citing a prior engagement.
They may even try emotional blackmail with their friend to do their bidding. Friends of such people must be strong mentally to resist. They must draw healthy boundaries and exert them from time to time.
15. Spend money on themselves:
Self-absorbed people spend a lot of money on themselves. But when their partner or loved one needs anything new, they are out of money. They never have long-lasting relationships because of this selfishness. Nobody likes a miser.
16. No shared interests:
These people never involve in activities that interest their partners. They always insist on pursuing their interests without considering their partner's feelings. Most of the time, they are unwilling to compromise. This makes the partner lose interest in them in the long term.
17. Focus only on themselves:
In a normal relationship, both partners look out for each other. In an unstable relationship, a self-absorbed person,
● Only sees how he/she can gain from the decision.
● Refuse to consider their partner's opinion or feelings.
18. Make false accusations:
Selfish people are always afraid of others wanting to damage their image. To prevent that, they end up making false stories and damaging the reputation of other people. They even end up spoiling relations in the process.
19. No lasting relationships:
Self-obsessed people are distrustful of others. They also find it hard to show their soft side to people. This makes it impossible for them to maintain long friendships or relationships.
20. Are very imposing:
These people love being the center of attention. They always get their way in life. So they come across as compelling others to abide by their rules or way of life. They use words like 'should' or 'must' to impose their dominance over others.
21. Energy drainers:
People always feel tired or gloomy after interacting with self-centered people. They are always forced to listen to the problems of selfish people. These self-centered people, in turn, don't pay attention to others' lives.
Egocentric, self-absorbed can be a scary bunch to interact with. Their self-obsessed ways can get even the happiest of people down. It's best to recognize and avoid such people at the earliest. The tips outlined in the above article can help you with the same because life is too short to deal with such people.
A person is made up of many traits, which are like double-edged swords. You do too much of something, and you may falter. But you do too little of something considered to be bad you may lose out too. Self-centeredness is one such quality. Too much, or it borders on utter selfishness, which is nasty. But, too little of it, and you may become a pawn in the hand of others.So, how can we know when we overdo it? How much is too much? Are there signs that we can look out for the difference between being selfish and being...