Love and obsession can be correlated in some aspects. One may confuse them with one another. But they are not the same feelings even if they are very similar. We often misunderstood them and often failed to notice the thin line between these two feelings. Obsessive love often looks like real love.
Now how to tell the difference between love and obsession?
Love is an uncontrollable feeling that a person develops for another person. It involves caring, understanding and trust for the person, supporting them, and pushing them to be their best version. It also contains affections for that person. You want them to be happy even if they no longer are with you or in your life. They are your priority, and you put them and their needs first.
Obsession is a crazy type of feeling where the person does not have any affection for you. Where the one obsessed wants the other to be with them and be only theirs. Obsessed people will think about themselves and not the other. They do not care what you want or need; everything is about them in the relationship.
In many cases, when an individual is manipulative and obsessive, they will make sure you believe that they are the one. They can act so perfect that you fall for it. Showering you with love and all the care, gifts, and attention to make you believe that they are the ones for you.
Once they are sure that they have you to themselves, they will no longer resemble the person you fell in love with. They are no longer the person who shows their love to you the way they used to when you met. They might even be cruel and distant to you once you belong to them.
In the beginning, you are really happy with how the relationship looks. So much so that you don’t pay attention to anything other than them. Having to ignore your personal life, friends, and family for them does not indicate anything healthy for a relationship.
When it is love, there are heavy passions and feelings in the relationship. But the people involved still have their individual personalities apart from the relationship. They have not triggered, or insecure their partners choose their friends, family, or interests over them occasionally. The opposite happens, actually.
But when it is an obsession, it gets difficult to be without the other. The need is too much to be near your partner. They can even restrict you from being with anyone other than them. They won’t spare a moment even to be without their partner.
However, it will only last up to the point where they are interested in you. They will even start to avoid you. This kind of behavior then leads to abuse and damaging the relationship. These are very unhealthy and show the red flag in the relationship.
Points to Realize The Difference Between Love And Obsession
Commitment
It is a very important part when there is love between the individuals. You plan to commit to them, and they are there in your future as well. What is even the meaning of being in love if you are not ready to commit and be with them for your lives? This shows the seriousness of their feelings they have for you.
But there will be no commitment when the feelings are just of obsession. Sometimes, one might feel that there is a chance for this relationship to last, even if it is an obsession. But in most cases, it is not so. There is a chance of the feelings dying or fade over a period of time when it is a just obsession.
Therefore, it is essential that one should take time to think if it is really loved or not. If you feel strong and confident about your commitment to your partner, then it is more likely to be love.
How Are Conflicts Resolved?
Conflicts are a part of a relationship that is unavoidable. No matter how healthy or perfect a relationship is, it will have to face a conflict, sooner or later, at some point. It is not a reason enough to break up or break apart, though.
However, the thing to notice here is how you guys are solving them. If you are in love with each other, then perhaps you have already found a way to resolve them and not let them come between you. When in love, no conflict is bigger enough to come in your way of loving your partner.
But if it is an obsession, then it will not be resolved easily. There is a lack of deeper connection and understanding that will lead to the increase of the conflicts you will face. It makes it hard to see the light on the other side of it.
So when you get in fights and have conflicts, pay attention to how you handle that. Are you working as a team or not to solve the issue between you both? Conflicts can be helpful in detecting how serious your relationship is. If it is stronger, then the conflict will be nothing. If not, then it is going to create problems.
Treating Each Other
How you both treat each other can reveal the type of relationship you have. Are you having a flirty type of relationship? Or do you guys have a balance between reality and your fantasies?
If it is love, you will show it in a more genuine and fulfilling way. Like you will show them how much you care and the way you worry for them even if you have to be strict with them for their betterment.
But if it is an obsession, then your actions will be sugar-coated or sweet in nature. You need to pay attention to the way you both treat each other. Are you having a proper understanding of each other? Are you able to work with each other as a team? It will show how long-lasting your feelings are?
Lasting Or Not
You are going to have certain feelings when you are in a relationship with someone. If what you have for them is real love, then you are going to notice that those feelings are everlasting. They are going to stick with you for your life.
But if it is a mere obsession, then chances are high that it will fade away with time. This point relates to commitment and seriousness in your relationship. Being in a relationship is not just rainbows and unicorns.
When you are hit with reality, things are going to be very different. There are going to be things that are not at all fun. If it is love, then those things are going to be a part of your life, and that is not going to create a problem for you.
If the relationship is serious and commitment then you are going to choose to be with them along with accepting these unpleasant things as well. This is going to be an inevitable part of your life.
Effort
This can be the major difference to know if it is love or an obsession. You have to make an effort in the relationship, even if it is love or obsession.
But the efforts will differ from each other, and that is how you are going to evaluate if it is obsession or love.
You will try to keep your partner interested in you and win them over again and again if it is an obsession. You are going to keep flirting with them or make efforts to look good for them. All of these just so you can make them stay close to you. Your time and energy will be spent over these things in your relationship if it is an obsession.
In love, the efforts are more for the sustainment of the relationship. It will include flirting, sweet-talking, or keeping the spark up. The efforts to sustain the relationship will be included to show your partner genuine care and love. You will try to provide for their needs or make them feel special.
Obsession is more about you, whereas love is more about them.
Conditions
There are many conditions in an obsession in comparison to love.
When in love, you are going to be with them and love them unconditionally. Whatever you have to face or adjust to be with them, you will endure it. Your love is enough to stick together in thick or thin.
But it will not be so in an obsession. If you face a challenge or have to endure things, then your feelings might fade away. It is like your feelings are for the perfect version of them rather than the real them.
If your feelings for your partner are unconditional, then you are selfless, and it is love. If not so, then you are possibly just obsessed with your partner and are not serious about your relationship with them.
Focus
What is your focus in your relationship? What is the thing about your relationship that you care about the most?
If you are focused on superficial or material things, then it is more likely to be an obsession. You care more about the physical aspects and the flirting in your relationship. You lack a deeper connection in it with your partner.
When you are in love with someone, then you have a deep connection, and understanding will matter more for you. There will be some physicality and flirting present in your relationship, but it will not be more important than having a meaningful connection.
Goals and Intentions
Is your goal long-term when you think of the relationship you have with your partner? Or is it more casual than serious?
Love generally consists of long-term and more lasting. You are more serious and focused on having a future with them. You are also going to try your hardest to sustain your relationship. The efforts and commitment will show the intentions you have for them and for your relationship.
If you are just obsessed with your partner, you will not intend to be with them in the future. You are not serious about your relationship; instead, it will be more casual and laid back. Hence, it might only last for a few months.
Both the person in a relationship needs to talk and decide for the intentions they hold for their partner and their relationship. It is always better to clear things before you come to regret them.
Conclusion
Love means being caring, supporting, or giving to your partner. Obsession is being more focused on yourself and keeping your partner interested in you by flirting with them or looking good for them.
In a love, partner’s need is a priority, and in obsession, your own needs are the priority.
There are no boundaries when it comes to love. Your relationship contains all the freedom. But in obsession, there are limits to it. You might even feel suffocated with them.
Love is a pure understanding of two individuals, whereas; obsession is shadowed with jealousy and possessiveness.
Love is pure and deep, whereas an obsession is more physical and superficial.
It is important to know the type of feeling you have for them. It will help to figure things out and be on the same page with your partner. Also, it will be beneficial to know how serious everything is for both of you. You will get to know where you stand in the relationship with your partner. And if you are thinking of committing and building a future with them.
All these factors help one to direct or have guidance related to the relationship with their significant other. Or to even know if they are the one. Moreover, it will also make it crystal clear to know exactly what you should expect from your relationship.