Love is the most wished upon feeling for humans. Everyone wants to find love in their lifetime. All want to experience the butterflies in their stomach, the warmth that surrounds their hearts when they feel loved.
However, there is a difference between loving someone or being in love with someone. But the majority of people fail to distinguish between them, misunderstanding them as the same concepts. They are not at fault. It does feel the same and the passion included in it. The most common difference between them both is based on the intentions. That is where the difference lies.
To understand the difference between them better, let's have a look at the below points.
To Love, Someone Is A Choice
Loving someone is in your own hands. You have all the options and choices whom you want to love. It is in your own control. You decide whether to love someone or not based on their personality, characteristics, abilities, moral values, principles, etc.
You also possess the power not to love them if things do not work between you and them. You can break ties with them and let them leave your life permanently.
Being In Love With Someone Is Out Of Control
Contrary to the above point, being in love with someone is not in your own control. You have no choice over who to love or when to love? You, most probably, will be unprepared for it when that happens.
There won't be any warning or preparation when you fall for someone. Neither can you walk away from it? Even if you do, then it will be a real tough thing for you to achieve. The feelings tend to stick even after leaving them.
When Loving Someone, Your Priorities Are Set For Them
When you love someone, you always want the best for them. But when it comes to the point that it requires you to make a sacrifice for that best, you won't be so willing to do it.
You will know the difference and that you love them and not in love with them when you find yourself hesitating to go out of your way to make their best possible.
Being In Love With Someone Makes Them Your Priority
You won't even need to think twice while putting them first before you. You won't have any doubts or problems regarding doing things for them. You will also go out of your way to help them out.
If not so, then you try hard to make their life easier by helping them or taking the workload off of them if you can, even if it means that you have to make sacrifices or abandon your comfort zone. You will be on your toes to do almost anything for them.
There Can Be An End To Love Someone
As the first point states, loving someone is your choice and is under your control. Then it is also possible for you to stop loving them.
It is not a problem for you or them to walk away from each other when things aren't working between both of you. This is a reason why most people separate when they struggle with getting their relationship work.
Being In Love Does Not Have An End
When you are in love with someone, you find it extremely impossible to be without them. No problem can come in the way of you being with them. No matter how hard or impossible it may seem, you are determined to stay by their side through thick and thin.
You are going to make things work anyhow. You will not give up on your relationship and will work to get past your differences and find a balance. You will make every effort to stick together because their absence in your life is unimaginable for you.
Loving Someone Is Related To Needs
Being in a loving relationship, you are, of course, going to feel the need to be with them always. It means you love them and crave their company. You miss them terribly. There is nothing wrong with that.
However, you do need to realize that this is not always possible. There will be things they will need to do without you being at their sides. They will need their space and alone time from you too.
That doesn't mean that they don't love you back. Or don't love you as much as you do. But you fail to realize this when you love someone because you are more focused on your own needs.
Being In Love With Consists Of Balance
When you are in love with someone, you understand that there is a need to balance out things with both of your requirements. You will be understanding enough to provide them with their personal time for their hobbies, to meet their friends and family alone, doing their solo activities, etc.
You are not going to fret about them not being with you all the time or seeing it as a problem because you understand that they need their space and are ensured that they will be coming to you at the end of the day.
Loving Someone Can Be A Temporary Thrill
Loving someone can be a thrilling experience. You are experiencing many different rushes of feelings when with them. It is all butterflies and unicorns-like feeling for you. You feel like being on cloud nine or like living a dream. But that crushes out when you face the very first challenge.
Love can still be present, but only for a while. Difficulties make the haze of good feelings vanish when you love someone. When the thrill and feeling good ends, so make your love for them.
Being In Love Is A Lot More Emotions
When you are in love with someone, you are sure to feel highs and lows with each other. But that doesn't make it a reason enough for you to split up with them. You are ready to face any challenges as long as you are with them. Nothing crushes you or defeats you because you are in love.
You are at peace always because you know you and your partner are in love with each other. And both of you will find their way to each other even after every hardship you face.
Loving Someone Is About You
In this form of love, you are more concerned about how you feel when you are with them. Your focus is on how they make you feel when with them. There is nothing wrong with giving importance to your feelings when in a relationship.
However, things can turn bad when it is just about you and not about your partner as well. This indicates that you won't be with them when they don't make you feel good. This is what loving someone is.
Being In Love With Someone Is About Them
Being in love with someone makes you think more about how you are making them feel. Are they happy when they are with you? Are they feeling good being with you?
This will be because they will be your priority when you are in love with them. When you are in true love with them, you won't have any problem keeping them before you. Love must not be selfish if you are in love with them.
To Love, Someone Is An Ownership
When you love someone, you want to claim them for yourself. So you are going to declare them as yours and will label them as such. A little possessive is okay, but this is downright showing ownership.
You are labeling them as your property. You are reminding them time and again that they are yours. You also need them to repeat this constantly. This indicates that you are trying to own them for yourself.
Being In Love With Someone Is Partnership
Being in love with someone does not require any sort of label. You acknowledge that you are together or in a relationship, but you do not need to remind each other or outsiders of that.
You are alright with letting them be their own person outside this relationship as well. Both of you agree on this thing. You don't feel the need to have any labels or declarations of being in love, unlike when you love someone. It goes both ways.
Loving Someone Is a Laborious Battle
Every moment of your relationship is spent making huge efforts. You begin to think that making things work shouldn't be that difficult. It is because it shouldn't.
One should not need to make efforts more than necessary to keep things smooth and going for the relationship. These things are a problem because you love someone and are not in love with them.
Being In Love Is Being Effortless
Things are going to be a struggle every now and then when in a relationship. But it should be with just the necessary amount of effort for that. You should not have to work overtime for you guys to stay together.
In fact, when you are in love with someone, sustaining a relationship may not even seem like an effort. It will be so natural to you both. Even if things get difficult at some point, there will still be no problem for you both to get back together.
You will find your ways to each other naturally because you are in love with each other. You will feel more in love with your partner, and your bond will strengthen after that.
Love Might Fade Away When You Love Someone
The kind of love you feel that gives you jitters and spikes of passion will only remain for the initial period of your relationship. That is until you are used to their presence in your life.
Once that time is passed, there is no guarantee of that love to stay. When you just love someone, that love will slowly and gradually fade away.
This possibility will get even stronger when you experience difficulties with them. Because the rush of the chemicals that sparks passion between you will be decreased, and thus your love fades with the fading of the chemicals as well.
Love Grows With Time When You Are In Love With Someone
There is no such chance of your love fading with the passing periods of time in your relationship. In fact, it will only keep growing and increasing day by day living with them.
Your love becomes compassionate over the time together, along with the compatibility you both shared in your relationship. Even if the time comes when you both are not together, then your love for them shall remain. You keep on cheering them and wish the best for them.
Conclusion
Being in love is a far more serious affair than loving someone. You will possess more compassion, understanding, compatibility, and a natural feel for them when you are in love. Besides, you are not in control of this happening either and can seldom free yourself of your feelings when you are in love.
It also tends to be more of a long-term deal, and the love keeps on growing more and more with each passing moment of your life together.
However, all these things are not guaranteed when you love someone. It is a seemingly temporary affair. You will not possess much understanding in your relationship. You are not going to put them before you, and nor they would do this for you.
This kind of love will most probably center around you. Your needs, feelings, and wants are first for you. You will also try to fix each other as per your own needs instead of accepting and working through their flaws.
Thus all this makes it possible to crash your love when you face difficulties and find yourself wanting to quit from it. Since things are your choice and in your control, you might as well do just that.