I am not beautiful. I am not good at dancing or studying or any work. I can not do anything right in life. Everyone is disappointed with me. I am a failure. I don't know anything, and so on.
This is what we all said to ourselves often. As we are not happy with ourselves the way we are. We know the fact; no one is perfect. Then, why we are so unfair to ourselves, making self a so-called ideal idol. Either, perfection doesn't exist in the world.
If you can see, every individual has any bad habit. Instead, no one likes to portray or discuss it among the other, but inner you know, what things are good and what things bad severely about yourself.
You can not learn until you make mistakes. And because you make mistakes often, you started struggling to like yourself.
Once, a game was conducted in an auditorium. People were asked to list the five names of the people whom they love the most in the world. Randomly, when the solution was invited to the people, many common answers were, mother, father, son, daughter, sister, brother, and so on. But, not a signal person was there, who included self-name in the list.
Why would this happen? No matter how many flaws you have, your answer to this question should always start from your name.
There are many people out there, almost everyone unhappy with themselves as people realize their flaws. As much it is true that everyone has flaws, it is also the fact that everyone has that one thing, which the other person doesn't.
What you have to do is, realize those things and stay happy with yourself. Love yourself. Self-love is the best thing you can do for yourself. Self-love had many advantages, which you can not understand until you start loving yourself.
Why love yourself?
When it comes to hating yourself, you will find tons of reasons to not liking yourself. But, if you can love yourself, with the no matter ample of flaws you have, it means your life is worthy.
Self-love fulfills you with self-confidence, self-worth, and it will make you feel more positive in all the situations in your life. Life is a zigzag slide. You will take many turns, at some point, you will be scared of the conditions. But, you also know that a zigzag descent gives you more pleasure than a straight drop.
You get the real meaning of living a life when you start loving yourself. When you begin to love yourself, you will start taking care of yourself; you will be much happier than ever before. If you can love yourself, you can spread love to others, only then.
How to love yourself
Self-love is as simple as loving anyone else. In the difficult journey of life, people find it complicated; loving is caring self. Ax, the outer world is so different than you, then your inner you.
I am not saying, after reading this article, you will start loving yourself immediately. But yes, indeed, you will feel that nothing is beautiful than you. You will understand the importance of love for yourself. So, please go through this batch of sentences carefully, and try to find it within yourself.
1) Stop comparing yourself with others
This is very common among youngsters nowadays. Students going to the schools and colleges are under peer pressure. They want to be the same as they are living with people.
Students try to change them completely. And in this practice, they lose themselves somewhere. But, this is not only about the students.
Each person compares their life with the other. If the person sees someone looking beautiful than themself, get disappointed. If someone has a big house, more money, a car and so on things, comparing self-life with others, you get only disappointment with yourself. However, it resulted in self-dissatisfaction, self-hate.
So, stop comparing your life with others. Whatever you have is your stuff. You have earned it after so much hard work. So, appreciate your efforts and love yourself for this achievement.
2) Forgive yourself for your mistakes
People say, learn forgiveness. Forgive others for their mistakes and move on. But do they forgive themselves for their mistakes?
Human is an animal who learns from the mistakes. Indeed, it's up to that person, whether the person wants to correct the errors or not, but it's impossible to learn until a person makes any mistake.
So, now, then you have made a mistake, what is the next plan you have? What do you want to do? Do you want to stick that mistake for life, or would you like to forgive yourself and forget the mistake?
When you learn to forgive yourself for the mistakes, you have made, you start loving yourself and make your life worthy.
3) Learn to say 'No' to others
Saying no to others means you are disappointing them and on one wants that.
But, in the practice of pleasing others, you disappoint yourself. Saying 'No' is hard, but it is essential. But in the attempt of other people feeling pretty good, we stretch ourselves too much and commit to the work we can do.
If you don't want to go to a movie with your friends on the coming weekend, because you want to spend this time with yourself and your family, it is okay. Tell your friends that you can not go out this weekend.
Sometimes it is as simple as that. But, you make it too complicated. When you learn to say 'No' for your happiness, it means you started caring for yourself.
4) Make a list of your achievements
You lost the last game, and now you are not happy. Take a book, and start listing your achievements till now. See, you have many more accomplishments than the last game.
Making a list of your achievements is the ultimate way of falling in love with yourself. This list will make you feel proud of your talent, and you will be happy.
5) Make a vision board
When I was in school, my teacher told me whatever you write down impacted your thoughts and actions. Also, writing something loosen up the stress you have.
When you are happy or unhappy with yourself, you had multiple thoughts. Make a place in your room for the board, write every negative review on it, and wipe it up. This will help you distressed yourself.
After doing this, write the positive side of your thought, what good thing you learned from the incident. Also, you can write down your goals. This will motivate you to work hard.
Read the board daily, and remind yourself about the task you have to do. It will fill new energy within you, and you will feel motivated. You will start focusing on your dreams and loving yourself.
6) Understand your needs
No one can guess correctly. What do you want? What are you craving? Which dress did you like the most? Where you want to go?
These are the things whose answer is up to you only. Do something for yourself. Understand what do you want, and fulfill that need. You will be doing it for yourself. And, when you do something for yourself, it means you love yourself.
7) Give yourself credit where credit is due
Many time, you do work, please other, bring a smile on someone's face, and forgot to appreciate self-efforts.
Give credit to yourself for each of the excellent work you have done. Give credit to each smile you put on someone's face.
Some might be thinking that there is no need for giving credit to self, as, you know, what you have done. But, I will say, it is indeed essential to providing recognition to yourself.
If you have done something great, pat on your back, and say Good Work!
If you have not done it anyway in your life, recollect all those incidents, all those factors in your life, and say thank you, or well done to yourself. Credit is a must. When you express your gratitude for others, then why not to yourself.
When you do it, it shows the love you do with yourself.
8) Take care of yourself
Now, you will say, I take care of myself, as, whenever I want to hang out, I go outside, I like food, I have food, and many more.
But does taking care of yourself stops here?
Ask yourself how much you are aware of the feelings, stress, and tension you have. Sometimes, these feelings reach a peak, and we don't realize it until it started affecting us.
This proves you don't take care of yourself. Loving yourself begins with taking care of yourself. It may seem like an obvious one, but it is an essential part of loving yourself.
You can see, self-love is not tricky. You need to realize how important it is to love yourself. Take care of each of your desire, each of your needs, each of your dream, and put the efforts to complete those factors.
SUVANGI CHANDA
The relationship you carry out with yourself shapes your life and everything surrounding you. You need to love yourself before anyone else loves you, and that’s a golden rule. We usually find it easier to love others rather than loving ourselves.
We are our harsh critics because we do not lose a moment in doubting ourselves, criticizing our act, or blaming ourselves for a toxic relationship. There are many regardless of why you lack self-love; however, you will realize you have to be your cheerleader rather than your critic in the long run of life. Only then will you learn to move forward in life successfully and happily.
You need to make yourself believe that you are worth all the love and care you expect and then shower all of it on yourself. It’s always easy to dwell on the insecurities that others point out in you.
You need to understand yourself and do things that make you happy. You need to understand what works the best for you, and this is a long trial and error process. You can try something for a few days, like a month, for example, 21 days of gratitude journaling, and then check the changes that occur in you.
If you like the process, the changes, then go on with the work. Learn to accept your flaws and carry yourself out as royalty.
Most importantly, learn to believe in yourself when the entire world is telling you not to. This is surely a difficult task, but I promise you shall be grateful to see what you have accomplished at the end.
Remember that your life has been trying to teach you only one lesson throughout all the years, it’s that you are the most important person in the entire universe. Do not make anyone else make you feel otherwise.
Gratitude and self-love walk hand-in-hand. If you want to spend your time trying to love yourself, the first thing you need to do is to know yourself well, and for knowing yourself, you need to take the help of gratitude, because it’s the purest of all the feelings made by mankind.
10 ways to achieve your goals of loving yourself
Here is a list of ten simple ways by which you can achieve your goal of loving yourself more by the end of the year –
1. Say “no” when you do not like something.
Once you determine to walk on the path of self-love, you need to create boundaries for other people, and once the other person tries to cross the boundary, remember to cut that person from your life.
Learn to say “no” when you are not pleased with the action that’s going to happen next. Remember that saying “no” does not make you a cruel or heartless person. Instead, it makes you more composed and still in your life.
People should know their boundaries, and they should not do anything to harm your self-esteem or your mental health. Remember to support neither of these people.
2. Be honest with yourself.
It is impossible to love yourself if you do not know yourself, and for knowing yourself, you need to be utterly honest with yourself.
This is easier than being honest with someone else because here, in this situation, you know there is no one to judge you. You are free with your mind.
No other second person is going to know your little secret. That’s why, to be honest with you. Your honesty will be the path to your self-love.
3. Start a gratitude journal.
There are many different ways to show gratitude in your life, and you need to find out which one you are most comfortable with practicing. The easiest way to know one is by writing it down.
All you have to do is start a gratitude journal and write down at least five points in it every day. This way, you will realize what the small non-materialistic things that provide you happiness is, and you will work hard to fill your life with those. In and all, it will show you a direction in your life, and you will not doubt yourself for following the path.
4. Take care of your body and mind.
If you go and visit any gratitude website and search for gratitude list examples, the most common point in all those articles will be taking good care of your mind and body.
Your mind controls your body, and if your mind and your body are not syncing well, you will find yourself trapped in every situation and will get tired of life. The importance of self-love is to make your soul feel comfortable in your body.
Thus you need to take proper care of your body and mind, and only then will you get the feeling of happiness and gratitude in the workplace you are working in.
5. Allow yourself to rest once in a while.
Do not get too harsh on yourself. You need to find out time and rest. After a long week at work, try to give yourself a holiday on the weekends or try to visit the restaurant and eat something unhealthy and feast yourself.
Once in a while, try to give yourself everything you have stopped yourself from, and you will see that after the holiday, you will have a fresh mind and high energy to continue with your work for the next week. This will increase your productivity and will help you feel more loved.
6. Surround yourself with people who love to see you grow.
There will be many people who do not want to see you grow in your life. You need to point them out and cut them off from your life. Surround yourself with people who value your self-esteem and who are genuinely happy seeing you grow at work or as a person.
Try to show gratitude for family and friends, and you will realize who is worth your energy and time. Once you surround yourself with positive people, you will see that you have started feeling more confident with yourself, and your path to self-love will be accomplished. Thus, choose the people wisely because the people surrounding you affect your mental health the most.
7. Accept your past and be in your presence.
We all have an ugly past, and the only thing we can do with the past is close it in a box and keep it in the storeroom. Try to accept your past and give your hundred percent in the present.
Do not let your past hold you from trying to do something new or from growing. Try to explore everything and do not worry about the future. Do everything that your past has stopped you from doing and grow like a wildflower. Life is worth every risk taken.
8. Do not hesitate to ask for help.
Do not make yourself feel that asking for help makes you less educated or makes you seem helpless. Try to analyze the situation you are in, right now and then if you feel that you need help, or if you feel that help from someone experienced will help you get the work done faster, do not hesitate to ask for help.
Do not procrastinate or over think if the person will get ready to help you or not. At the end of the day, it’s your work, and you need to consult other people to get the most out of the situation.
Once that person gets ready to help you, you will understand how to show gratitude and will show your thankfulness to the other person. This will make the other person feel blessed and loved.
9. Try new activities, pursue a hobby.
Hobbies are fun and relaxing. Once you decide to walk on the path of self-love and to rediscover yourself, you need to come out of your comfort zone, even if that’s for a short period.
You will be amazed to see how well you fall in love with the activities you feared. You could keep track of your activities and the ones you love in your gratitude journal or in any gratitude journal app that comes for free.
10. Write down your success stories.
Writing is the easiest and fastest way to know you. Once you sit down to write, you will realize that you have written down facts about yourself you never knew existed, and that will make you the happiest and most vulnerable.
Write down every success you have achieved, from the tiny ones like going on a morning walk for one week to the bigger ones like getting a hike in the salary.
Again try to follow the 21 days of gratitude journaling idea over here with your success story, and you will end up being the happiest person on earth when you come back and read all your achievements in life.
Self-love isn’t easy. We are born as our critics. But once you begin and keep on continuing with loving yourself, you will realize how beautiful you are and how kind the world around you is. Your reality depends on how you treat yourself.
The lesser you love yourself, the more frustrated, confused, and irritated you are with your life. That’s why spend time with yourself and try to understand yourself the best. You shall fall in love with the process too.