Has it ever happened to you that you are standing somewhere and thinking that man, why do I have these shortcomings?
Do you feel that you always lack in self-confidence?
Do you ever think that whatever you have is probably not what you deserve?
Or does it ever happen that you think that your partner will leave you alone and no one is going to be with you? Do you think that there are such shortcomings in you that people may leave you at any point in life?
Do you always think that maybe you are not as good a friend as you got in your life?
Do you want to spend most of the time at home because you think people might not be happy to meet you?
Do you ever thought that you are very overweight, you are very ugly, you are not so beautiful in appearance, or you cannot make others happy?
There are some of us who feel insecure for some time, that is fine, but there are also some people who feel insecure all the time.
This security can also be due to your past; can it be because of what is happening with you today, or it may be that you feel from inside that you might not be so good that people will like you.
● What does insecurity mean?
Insecurity means a feeling of fear of losing someone or something. Most of us are insecure about this or that. Girls are insecure for their boyfriends, wives for their husbands, boys for their girlfriends, and many more.
Insecurity is something you may feel for anyone, not necessarily a person. It may be a thing like your favorite top, your bike, or, say, your watch.
Defining insecurity is easy if you understand the basics of it. It is nothing but the fear of failure! We are afraid of being a failure no matter what. Our mind already expected a failure and hence keeps worrying about it.
This results in fear of losing people or things around us. This makes us insecure.
◆ If your body knows the truth or fact, it is very difficult for you to be insecure about anything.
Hence, not knowing the fact drag your brain towards the negative thoughts.
For example, imagine a teenage girl, Nancy, who lost her parents in a car accident, live with her uncle and aunt. Her aunt also has a girl younger than Nancy. That little girl has a somewhat dark complexion than Nancy. But Nancy's aunt keeps on taunting her and saying that she is not very attractive; she is ugly. Obviously due to insecurity.
And, Nancy starts believing this too, because she hears this since childhood. This belief makes Nancy insecure about her looks; she became under-confident.
What do you think is the reason behind Nancy's insecurity?
Not knowing the fact. If you keep on telling your body that your soul is a failure, your body will keep on expressing it through actions.
◆ Now, if your body understands the facts, your heart will carry it!
Once you understand the truth wholeheartedly, your mind will act in a similar manner.
◆ Who do you think is more insecure?
● Gifted person
These people always in fear that what will happen if someone else gets the same talent that they already have. They start worrying about that this will decrease their importance in society.
● Transparent people
One who doesn't hide anything from society, one who is a very straightforward person, generally becomes insecure about themselves and for their loved ones too. Because they know that now almost everyone knows about their weakness and strength. And hence feel insecurity to a very higher level.
● Knowledgeable person
This may exist in fear of losing all this. Because one who has enough knowledge about a particular topic generally remains quiet. This might create a perception that he or she may not know a lot about it among the audience. Hence these people become insecure.
● Why am I so insecure?
Root causes of insecurity! Many of us might experience emotional insecurity about we believe ones. There are various reasons behind it. Let's discuss that here.
1. Fear of losing
We feel insecure because we are always afraid that our people, our own friends, will leave us. This fear keeps us feeling insecure.
For example, There was a 10-year-old child who also had an elder sister, this 10-year-old child perhaps was not so good at studies, so he always feared that because he is not good at studies, then his mother would love his sister more.
He used to feel very insecure and always used to do many silly things through which he used to grab his parent's attention. So, the feeling of losing his parent's love makes him insecure.
2. Lack of self-confidence
Not having faith in self also drops a person in a well of insecurity. Imagine a girl from a village who went to Cambridge University for further studies. Now she may not be very fluent in English, and this will result in low self-confidence.
She will try not to attend any sort of social gatherings. She will become insecure about her accent or dressing sense.
Therefore having great confidence in self is the key to success.
3. Negative thoughts about self.
If you have really bad ideas about yourself, then you will not be able to build up your confidence. And, this will surely make you insecure because you will consistently have feelings of losing whatever you have, or you want.
4. Stress and Pressure for gaining power.
Being a topper or a winner is a good thing, but one should not do this for the sake of power. Because once you enter the path of gaining power, you will always have a fear of losing it. This you can understand by an example of any of the politicians who just want the power, no matter how!
● What causes insecurity in relationships?
➣ Paranoid nature.
➣ Disbelief in the partner.
➣ Excess of love.
Dealing with these insecurities is very crucial for the stability of your relationship. Remember, the relationship will never ever be absolute; it will be variable. You have to conduct it right on a daily basis.
One day you do not conduct it properly, you will probably lose your partner. If you want an absolute relationship, then this can happen only with a dead, not a living creature.
● How to deal with insecurities?
How to overcome insecurities?
How to get over insecurity?
How to deal with insecurity?
How to be not insecure?
Life is insecure!
We do not have any security in our life, and we have to die one day no matter what.
Do you think that if you start chanting "I don't want to die," it will stop you from death?
If you understand that nothing will go with you, you will realize that there is nothing to feel insecure about.
"Be not afraid of greatness: some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them." – William Shakespeare
⭕ Stop feeling that you are going to lose something.
Did you come with a container filled with stuff in this world, or will you be provided with the special services of carrying a bag with you while leaving this world?
No man, no!
You came here with absolutely nothing but will leave this world with lots of experiences.
So, we are on the profit side!
⭕ Accept the importance of your life!
You have to shine in your own life; this is all that matters. If people have eyes to see this, they will. If they don't have eyes to notice, they won't.
"If we are true to ourselves, we cannot be false to anyone." – William Shakespeare
⭕ Reassure your mind that you can do this!
Reassure your mind that you are the best!
⭕ Believe in yourself!
This is the same as building confidence in yourself. Once you start believing in your strength and capabilities, you will definitely feel better and confident about yourself.
This will attract your dream towards you just like the law of attraction.
⭕ Do what you want to do, not what people want you to do.
Believe me, if you can follow this, then no one in the world can have the capability to make you unhappy.
If you love your work, then you will never feel bad for it, not even insecure.
● Types of insecurities
1. Job insecurities
2. Food insecurities
3. Political insecurities
4. Financial insecurities
5. Social insecurities
6. Gender insecurities
7. Environmental insecurities
8. Health insecurities
9. Relationship insecurities
10. Religion insecurities
11. Complex insecurities
What does insecure mean for a girl?
It means being afraid of losing something.
What does insecure mean for a boy?
The answer is the same here too. Afraid or fear of losing what he already has, may it be his bike, friends, luxury, or something else.
Actually, stop overanalyzing the situation! Live in the present, enjoy it. It is absolutely fine if you do not know about something, accept it. And try to learn it.
Accept your failure, handle your success in the right way. Giving importance to self is of utmost necessity for one's happiness.
One who really loves you and cares for you will never leave you alone, no matter what happens. So, stop worrying about this stuff and enjoy life to its fullest!
As once said, "Your playing small does not serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you."~Nelson Mandela