1. Move forward from Self-Doubt
The first step to stop taking things personally is to remove self-doubt.
What happens is:
★ If you think, “why don’t I try it” your mind works that way. You take steps that way.
★ If you think, “Nah. I cannot do it. I am not capable. The other person is better than me. What other people think when I messed up,” then your brain stops looking for the remedy and goes into self-doubt mode. It looks at faults and not capabilities.
Know the difference between these two.
So why don’t you give a try? It’s alright, even if you fail. What’s bad is, you not trying and demeaning your capabilities.
Hone your skills. Bring confidence. Develop what you think is lagging. Break the self-doubt.
2. Stop worrying about what other people think
“You can be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world, and there’s still going to be someone who hates peaches.” – Dita Von Teese.
In life, remember these three things.
★ Not everyone has to like you. Not everyone will like you. That’s perfectly fine.
★ Not everyone will agree with you or has to agree with you.
★ You cannot keep changing yourself for people to like you or accept you.
Do you think people will stop once you have changed the way they think is best? They won’t.
So, stop worrying about what other people think. Start living your life.
Your life blooms when you stop feeding other people’s opinions. Do what is right. Do what feels right. It stops you from taking things personally.
3. Let things go
Why don’t you try to let go?
I know it’s difficult and feels unfair to let go. But did you step back and see what it is doing to your mental and physical health?
Holding on to bad things, terrible experiences, and bad people in life is the biggest obstacle. It destroys your health and puts you in a stressful state.
Let it go.
Let bygones be bygones.
It’s difficult. I know.
That is why; forgiving people are the strongest people in the world. Nothing can break them.
Constructively focus your negative emotions. Join any sports. Constructively divert your anger. Try mixed martial arts, workouts, trekking, travel, kickboxing, or take a new class or whatever works for you.
When you divert your emotions positively, you will start forgetting bad things and start forgiving.
4. Get rid of your insecurities
Do you know what insecurities do? They will make you take everything personally.
You will get upset too easily. You get angry in a jiffy. You judge people too easily. You feel like everyone is against you. The list just continues like this.
i) What are you insecure about?
ii) Do you feel insecure about your physical self?
iii) Feeling insecure in socializing?
iv) Do you think you can’t do it?
v) Insecure about what people think of you?
vi) Why don’t you write truthfully about what is making you insecure?
Write everything. Analyze it. Take steps to overcome them.
Kindly remember that, if you let your insecurities grow, you lose all the good things around you.
To stop taking things personally, come out of your insecurities.
5. Maybe it’s about them. Not about you.
Often, people don’t mean what they say.
Sometimes, people vent their feelings of frustrations, stress, or loss on others. It could be through anger, showing disrespect, mean words, unnecessary arguments, rude behaviors, finding faults, etc.
Especially people who are suffering, people who are in pain often use anger to vent.
They even could rummage people’s minds with their harsh words. Stop taking things personally here. It’s not about you. It is about them. It is not you who made them say what they said.
If you can understand what they are going through, you can easily stop taking things to your core.
6. If it is constructive; take it:
If people convey your mistakes genuinely, then you have to look into it. Look if there is any truth in it. And if you find one, take it and correct it.
Sometimes people can be rude or take a not-so-subtle route to convey your mistakes. In case there’s a truth to it, try to take it constructively. And ignore who said it or how they said it.
7. Ask. Don’t Assume
How to stop taking things personally? Ask. Don’t assume. It applies in all aspects of your life.
★ We assume things easily.
★ We jump to conclusions quickly.
★ We judge everything effortlessly.
What we do is, we don’t ask. We don’t enquire if it is true. We don’t try to find out what happened.
As a result, we take everything personally.
So what do we do?
➣ We need to ask before we assume.
➣ We need to talk before we conclude.
➣ We need to interpret before we judge.
8. Bring Compassion
When we are happy, we take things lightly.
When we are in a different moods, or when we are unhappy, we take even little things too personally.
Let’s try to change it.
❖ Bring compassion.
❖ You may not be the reason, but you can still show some compassion when people act out of hurt or frustration.
❖ Understand that people cannot always be the same.
❖ Hear what the other person has to say.
❖ Show integrity to people who disagree with you.
❖ Find a balance to handle success and failures.
❖ People don’t have to revolve around you.
❖ Everyone is allowed to have their own space. It doesn’t mean they ignore you or disrespect you.
Understand these factors and stop taking things personally.
9. Do a Self-Check
Sometimes we don’t know what we are doing. Or maybe we don’t see how we have been acting. That could be the reason why people act differently to you.
Have you thought about it?
Before you take things personally, take a step back and do a reality check. See if there is something about you that is bothering people.
Among the 9 best ways to stop taking things personally, our pick would be ‘starting with a self-check’.