As Aristotle rightly said, "Man is a social animal." Humans cannot live without society. He needs connections and people around in his surroundings. The society that we live in and the people that we influence has a lot to do with our personality development.
Hence it is necessary to win people around us. It is important that we have friends to look upon. Friends play a major role in shaping our personality. Their presence influences our behavior and thinking.
Therefore it is crucial to have a good circle around you. It is necessary that you stay with the right people. But you must be worried about
How to attract the right people towards you?
How to influence people by your warm presence?
Here is my guide about how you can win the right friends and grow your network. Whether it may be in your society or at your workplace, or even at your college, you can develop and grow a good circle by just following the guide perfectly.
1. Don't hesitate to make the first move:
Often many relations are on a pause button because no one is ready to make the first move. We many times think and assume that the person in front of us is least interested in us and would not bother to have a conversation with us.
We make assumptions by ourselves and then keep waiting for the person to make a move. Even if that person fails to approach, you must decide you are not giving up, and you will try to connect with that person.
2. Refer by their names:
Who doesn't like their name being called always? Of course, everyone would love that. When you are talking to some person, see to it that you refer to them with their names. People love to hear their name often, and they will like it if you do it to them.
They think that you are prioritizing them for the next few minutes and the conversation is only for them. It will create a good impression about you in their mind, and they will think that you are really concerned and interested in talking to them.
3. Help out people around you:
Helping out people is the best way to reach out to people. Helping others is always a sign of being kind and generous towards others. A person who helps others is always liked by people.
No one likes a person who says 'NO' to help others. Try to be the person who people can rely on and who people trust. Be ready to reach out to people always and help them when they need it.
4. Don't try to make big circles:
Find quality and not quantity in everything. Don't try to make friends with everyone around you. This will lead you to fetch nothing. In the end, there will be few true friends who will be there for you. Who will stick to you?
Hence it is advised that you focus on a few friends who have the same interest and taste as that of you. Even sometimes you have to let go of your friends who are not well connected towards you. Don't feel bad about it, and keep pushing forward.
5. Don't fake your vibes:
Have you ever faked your friend about something that you have never done just to look cool in front of him? Have you ever lied to a person that you do a particular thing so that they accept you?
When making friends, make sure that you are always the true version of yourselves. Don't fake your vibes and energy to win someone. This won't help you in the long run.
We cannot keep lying to others about what we are actually. Instead of that, see to it that you are the best version of yourselves. Be true to yourself and show your true reflection to others. Whether at home, college, or even at your workplace, don't lie and tell about yourselves, which you are not.
6. Don't be dominant on them :
Many people have a habit of dominating their thoughts over others. They want others to work according to their decisions and opinions. People do not like such people and choose to stay away from them.
Therefore it is necessary that you also take other people's thoughts into consideration. You treat everyone equally and not show inferiority to others. Don't be that kind of person who wants to dominate over others. Let others speak and participate with their ideas.
7. Define your boundaries before:
Don't let anyone cross your boundaries, even in any situation. Have a boundary to keep things private and personal. Don't let others cross it and disturb your mental stability. Keep it clear to others and also to yourselves.
This may help you do not cause any trauma for you and also to others. Remember that setting your limits is not being rude; it is necessary to maintain a healthy relationship with everyone you encounter with.
8. Reach out and involve:
Is there any group gathering in your college? Go there and enjoy. Having a secret Santa at your office? Participate and play the game.
Is someone asking you to come to their home party?
Try to reach there. Involve and participate with everyone as much as you can. Don't lose the opportunity to socialize and get closer to people. You don't know where you will find new and true friends. Hence it is necessary that you go and reach out to the opportunities.
9. Don't be choosy:
Don't put a filter while making friends. Yes, it is necessary that you make good friends. But judging people based on their looks, appearances, finance, and their standard of living is totally wrong.
A person should make friends irrespective of all these factors and always search for love. Love can be good, and it can be strong. There is no other need for any kind of factor while making friends. Don't be choosy.
If you see a person to whom nobody wants to talk with, you try to get there. You may have your close friends list, but you won't lose anything to be friends with people who need to be in a circle.
10. Don't get into unnecessary arguments:
Stop avoiding conflicts for no reason. Try to stay at peace with others. Even if there is any situation where you are forced into an argument, try to solve it by having peace.
Sit down and talk to the person. Know their opinions and understand their side. Try to put your opinions in a gentle way. Don't let these conflicts ruin your friendship and whatever bond you are sharing. You have to let go to move on all these tensions between you to have a stronger bond ahead.
11. Don't judge behind people :
First of all, stop judging people. You have no right to do it and put comments on their personal life. If you are doing this, you are surely a person who should be avoided. Don't pass judgments even behind them.
If there are some problems or any issue which you have with them, discuss it with them. Stop complaining and taunting people on their way. It may happen that they will try to avoid you otherwise.
Influencing people is not a big task but surely a necessary one. Try to socialize as much as you can. It is okay if you have only a few best friends with whom you share everything. Best friends make life so much better and enjoyable to live in.
If you have such good friends, then be thankful for what you have got. You have really received a treasure in your life; keep it safe in your hands. Even make them believe that you are happy to have them in your life. Tell them that 'I am grateful for you.' Start valuing and start showing them their value. Then they will be happy to have you.