"Failures are stepping stones towards success." Since our childhood, we have come across this proverb and are always told that it is obvious to fail on our path sometimes. We are always expected to not look upon failure and keep on marching ahead towards the road of success. But we are never told how to deal with failure and to let go and move on from the setbacks.
Indeed failures are opportunities in disguise for new road maps towards your development, but when it comes to accepting it, we all find ourselves in the toughest situation. It is easier to talk a lot about failure being a motivation and that it inspires us more to taste the flavor of success. But the one who is being banged by the failure knows how difficult it is to withstand a stormy rain even if you have an umbrella. There are many people, many great leaders who talk about failure and romanticize the thought of moving and looking for success after that. Sometimes people even think that setbacks are not a big deal to tackle about.
They think they will cope up with it anyhow and would easily keep pushing forward on their paths. But to tell you, sometimes it is not that easy! Now I know you must be thinking that I give up easily on things. But the fact is I am not giving up on my path, but I am accepting the truth that sometimes failures may pull us behind, but it is we who need to challenge ourselves for cutting the rope by which we are tied to it. You cannot avoid failures after all. Where there is a success, there will be a lot of hurdles of failures in between. Failures are inevitable, and hence we must learn to tackle them.
Often failures not only drain us mentally but also make us tired physically. They suck out our energy and also lower our self-confidence. They create traumas in our life and also in the surroundings that are influenced by us.
It is a requisite that we groove out of this mud pitch. To sweep out mental breakdown through defeats, we must practice a few habits which we always do in our daily life. Here are a few ways which you can follow if you are experiencing the same kind of trauma or mental instability:
1. Learn how you react to things :
In the end, it is about how much you know yourselves. Learn and note down situations that trigger you apart. Recognize your feelings to examine your actions. You can filter out much negativity around you if you try to limit the expanse from within.
You can secure yourselves by suppressing your impulsive reflex towards the things that are not happening according to your terms. Many times we get frustrated and act very aggressively on things that we might regret later.
Taking decisions and acting on things that we might not like to do otherwise will lead you to the wrong way. Better decide to stay calm and composed. Know your trigger points, and don't let them get pulled.
2. Find your space from the mess:
Sometimes it is okay to take breaks from your routine. There is nothing wrong with taking lazy vacations when you are not in the mood to work. You may sit with your work all day and land up completing not even a quarter part of it.
This will not take you to fetch any results, and you will end up getting failed. Instead, if you take short breaks and then focus on your work completely when you feel energetic and motivated, you will be more likely to achieve your goal earlier.
3. Prepare yourselves for failure:
Keep in mind that you will be banged upon a lot of defeats on your way from the very start. Sometimes you may even think that you are on the wrong path or doing things that are not meant for you.
In such situations, you must tell yourselves that you begin by agreeing with the norms that you will fail. You must make yourselves remember that there is no right path. It is the path that you are going to make right. It is the path that you will make for yourselves.
4. Neglect the surrounding voices :
"People will criticize. Don't catch their hands."Society will always be upset about what you do. Stop getting validations about what you are doing in your life from others.
People will always discuss and laugh at your failures because it is the only thing they want to see. It is you who have to decide what you take and learn the habit of letting go of people who cause hindrance in your mental peace.
You must remember that people will forget about your chapter, and they hardly bother to care. Don't stick your emotions in the wrong place and rather focus on writing a better story for yourself.
5. Understand it is an illusion of your emotions :
Sometimes the setbacks may not be that trouble-causing than the negative emotions we develop because of encountering failures. Our emotions can enact the entire situation as a giant trauma in our minds.
We think, and we make us believe that we are at a greater loss than really what we are actually dealing with. You must understand that the situation is not that difficult, and it is your thoughts that are draining you.
6. Accept the situation you are in :
Accept what is thrown at you in your way. Running from situations will fetch you nothing but a mark of failure. Learn to recognize your situations and their causes.
Tackle the hurdles and figure out things to get back on track again. Accept that you can fail, and you may lack something inside you.
Try to figure it out and grow from it. Remember that you are strong, and you will come out of this situation. Be patient in the process.
7. How to find the motivation to move on?:
It is dumb to cry on spoilt milk. Things that have already gone out of our hands can't be undone. Hence it is wiser to move on and not look back at failures.
You should consider this failure as a new lesson that has taught you many values through experiences. You should consider your setbacks as your motivation to try even harder the next time.
Grow your skills and get grounded in your principles. Learn from your past mistakes and never repeat them again in your future. Don't look back but remember what you left-back. Kickstart again and drive again to climb the hill.
8. Learn to stay satisfied:
You sometimes create scarcity for yourselves. Even if you are given the best you deserve in the universe; you are not happy and satisfied with what you have received.
You think you have failed to create the life you want and then start cursing yourselves. Try to create abundance in the scarcity you think you are owning.
Learn to be happy with what you are served with. When you understand what you really want and what you deserve, your agenda about failure will have a different perspective. Even though I have explained to you all how you can deal with your failures, it may seem difficult sometimes. But you must remember that it was and never will be impossible to do it. Remember why you started and how badly you need this. Then your failures will just be a spark to limelight your stars in the sky. Lastly, I would like you to remember a few things about what failure will teach you and what approach you need to deal with failure in a righteous way.
1. You will feel like "I want to give up.":
Even if you are ready to deal with your failures, there will be a time when you will be tired of trying. There will be a time that you will think that your efforts are in vain.
Therefore it is crucial that you stop upon the 'I give up' factor inside your head. Things start changing when you look at things in a positive way. Stop the negative voice inside you and make it understand that it is you who will make everything possible.
2. There is no other option:
If you want it to work anyhow and want to climb the ladder of success, you have to climb the broken foot of the ladder. There is no other way to reach the peak unless you do it.
Sit down and figure it out. Train your mind and tell it you have to make it. You have left no other options for it to slip on. When you boost your self-esteem, you will see things getting better and appropriate gradually.
3. You become humble :
Even when you are at the summit of your success story, you will stay grounded, knowing the obstacles you have kicked in moving up to there. You will be wise and humble.
There will be no ego, and you will never boast about such things. You will look upon other people with equality and treat everyone equally.
4. You will practice gratitude:
When we receive in abundance, we develop the habit of gratitude. When you will learn to get back up from your destructions, and if you succeed in overcoming them, you will be thankful for the universe to let this happen.
You will be overwhelmed with the blessings you are given and would express your gratitude towards all the forces which have driven you here.
5. Enjoy your journey:
Don't be a spoilsport in your own book of success. Let that journey be amazing. Let every page and every chapter of your life be amazing and thrilling.
Every achievement counts, and also every lesson of your failure is valuable. Don't lose your interest, and don't be demotivated by your failures. Enjoy the process of healing and learning. You see, in the end, so many things will be in your favor. Think about the time when you will be all successful and never think about this situation which you are in today. Do you feel wonderful? So let us bring that into the picture. Start working from now itself and see yourselves at the end of your story with a happy smile.
Maria Bonita
Enhance your skills
Overcoming setbacks: How to find another way
One of my cousins’ lost more than 25 lakhs of his investment in machinery because of the Chennai floods in 2015. What followed was a long bout of depression that he struggled to come out for a long period. However, he made a comeback; he restarted his venture and is now reaping the benefits of persistence.
Dream, setback, and aftermath
What is a setback?
Setbacks may be single or multiple situations that block your progress forward. You are not totally down, but you feel depressed and unable to respond positively. The need of the hour is to pull back and recoup from that setback.
There is nothing as depressing in life as having a dream, reaching the brink, and then falling from the top.
Assume a girl is at the brink of immortality leading at the last lap of an Olympic track and field event but twisting her leg just near the finish line!
So many years of dreaming of achieving and training to win dashed to the ground in one second!
The twist and the fall is a significant setback tough to recover.
The need to overcome the setback
In reality, failure is not a deep pit that you cannot climb over. It is a hurdle that can help you practice for your final and best attempt to reach the doors of victory. Just focus on overcoming your setbacks, then restart with vigor.
How can one overcome setbacks?
Here are some tips for doing it.
1. Anticipate setbacks. Setbacks or roadblocks are bound to happen. Accept them to be ready for them.
2. Have a timeframe to endure the disappointment. Once a setback occurs, you move many steps backward emotionally as your energy is completely drained. Do not wallow in self-pity or overthink. Give yourself some time to ponder. Then get back to action soon.
3. Boost Self-confidence through external and internal factors.
4. Give more importance to facts, assessing and correcting the failure that has occurred.
5. Focus ahead. Plan the next move. Make a list of alternatives you have. Brainstorm for your next move.
6. Implement what you want to plan.
Setbacks can happen anywhere, either in education, sport, work, or real life. Each type of setback should be handled with self-confidence, focus and vision, and a drive to achieve what was lost.
How to combat - Academic failures
A common notion is that academics could make or break a person’s career. It is true only in a few cases.
Never get depressed when you lose an opportunity to complete a particular course or degree successfully.
Sometimes you might fail an exam or a series of exams, or a particular grade. It could be your favorite subject, or it could be a field of study you had chosen out of compulsion.
If you fail, then understand, it is not a significant setback. There are always many opportunities to make a comeback.
Therefore, when you falter at one-step, the following text can help you balance yourself and move further…
Pacify yourself. Assure yourself that it is human to fail and that you can recover from the situation. The failure is passed you, and now it is time to look into the future.
Focus on your strengths and weaknesses. Notice in which areas you are lacking. If you have failed in multiple subjects, then assess all. If you have failed in one subject, then note down which areas you find difficult.
Choose and take the help of friends who you think can help you with acing up your studies.
Take the help of teachers to clear your doubts on areas you are unable to comprehend. You can also ask for exam tips to help you clear the exam, which you will be attending again.
Take the help of parents and well-wishers to support you at the emotional level.
During exams, concentrate on how to prepare for them. Learn tips and tricks to condense the syllabus and complete revising before the exams
Be confident during your preparation and in the exam hall.
Read inspirational books to boost your morale.
Set a timetable etc., to prepare for the exams and do your best next time around.
Academics are part of life, not life itself. There is more out there for you to achieve!
In case you feel that this subject area is not for you, take up another area of study. Remember, keeping faith in yourself is more important at all times.
Setbacks at work
Every person experiences setbacks at work. The boss might publicly criticize you. Your promotion does not materialize, or the increment you received was way below your expectations. Some setbacks may even tamper with your career; you may lose your job also.
While setbacks occurrence cannot be controlled, there are techniques that you can use to face them.
1. Be prepared
Create a strong base in the Company by being a responsible employee. Take care of your physical and mental health so that in case of untoward setbacks, you are fit enough to handle them.
2. Accept the situation
Since setbacks and failures occur in spite of being prepared, learn to accept the situation. Ignore negative emotions and move towards improving your situation in a positive manner.
3. Setbacks = Learning
Make setbacks as a lesson for you to move higher. Understand where you have gone wrong. Do not make that mistake again; instead, take an alternative that you think will be successful. Do not judge or blame others. Take responsibility and act wisely.
4. Reach out
Keep networking for ideas, jobs, support, motivation, and inspiration. When you are feeling sad or depressed because of a setback, your supporters, well-wishers, and other staff can help you relieve stress and show ways to overcome the situation.
5. Plan and implement your strategy
Assess the setback and seek out ways as to how you can overcome it. Devise a plan, seek alternatives, brainstorm ideas, and ask for advice from your peers to write down a foolproof plan to triumph over the setback.
6. Act
Finally, act on this plan as early as possible.
In sport
If you are a sportsperson, you may experience a unique set of problems, anxieties, and adverse situations.
Now and then, injuries hamper progress.
Other times you feel the pressure of the occasion that makes you overawed, leading to underperformance.
Occasionally your concentration levels dip due to professional or personal reasons and hence directly affect your big day performances.
Failing at the ultimate game is a more debilitating occurrence since efforts you made all your life will come to naught.
All the above situations, in extreme cases, may be debilitating. How do you overcome them? Here are some ways to help you...
Be resilient. When you face an adverse situation, address it first. Take a doctor’s advice. Rest for the period advised. Only when you are feeling better start training for your sport again.
Focus on what you can control. Injuries are unavoidable in sport. Every sportsperson is vulnerable to injury. The only way open is to take the necessary medication and rest, and come back with a bang.
Athletes should do all it takes to keep themselves fit at all times...it could be following a particular diet, exercise, or training with professionals who can help you stay fit always.
Have a positive attitude towards the situation. Keep your mind in a positive frame of mind. Think ahead about the next set of challenges and start planning accordingly.
See failures as a lesson for the future.
Take rest, follow rehabilitation measures and recouping strategies, then you can go back to training and participate.
Also, do not let setbacks or failures affect your future game, career, or life negatively. Be ever-optimistic, waiting to exploit the next opportunity that comes your way.
For Managers, Leaders, and Entrepreneurs
Overcoming setbacks is very important for an organization to move forward. Leaders of the organization should take the necessary steps in this process. So that the employees or staff of the organization continue to be passionate about their work and work towards the progress of the organization.
The way a leader handles a setback will also improve his or her standing upon his juniors. Here is how you as a Manager/Leader/Entrepreneur can work at overcoming a setback experienced by your organization
1. The first thing you should do is to stay calm. If you are distressed, the people around you will lose hope. Staying calm also helps you to assess the situation at hand and consider what should be done next.
2. Understand what went wrong and how the problem can be resolved.
3. Assess what strengths and weaknesses of the company to redress the setback.
4. Plan a strategy accordingly. Remember, the strategy should be forward-looking, i.e., it should have long-term benefits.
5. Inform all concerned staff about the gravity of the situation and broach the plan you have primed to offset it.
6. Be positive when you are communicating with your staff. Also, make your staff understand what the lesson to be learned from the setback is
7. Take complete charge of the situation by taking the action necessary to put your organization back on track towards its goals. It is also required to involve every one of your organizations in implementing your strategy.
In conclusion
The key to handling setbacks is to assess their implications and finding solutions to handle them calmly. The sooner a deliberate action is taken, the better.