Narcissism is something most people have within them. Narcissism is a personality disorder that is sometimes hard to deal with it. People with this disorder are egoistic.
Narcissists are not just people obsessed with themselves. Instead, it is an illness. It is always a mistake that narcissism is a choice to have.
Although, dealing with them could be difficult, mainly if it is your loved one or a family member.
Definition of Narcissist
What’s the definition of a narcissist? a narcissistic behavioral condition, NPD, is a mental sickness It is named as a pattern of a sense of greatness, a constant need for attention, and a lack of pity.
According to DSM-5, some narcissism even leads to abuse.
Narcissism begins in early adult life. And the traits are constant through various relationships, situations, and social settings.
It is also known that about 5 percent of the population has NPD. And about three-quarters of people with NPD are men.
You can describe a narcissist as having an excessive interest in themselves. And who cares very little about others.
In the research about narcissism, it is stated that narcissists have a lower sense of insight. It is difficult for them to relate to the thoughts, feelings, and struggles of others.
If you put it like that, nearly everyone knows someone who falls into the narcissism spectrum. It could be your parent, sibling, or spouse. And dealing with a narcissistic person can get very difficult.
Qualities of Narcissist traits
- Personality disorder:
You may wonder do narcissists change? people with narcissistic personality disorder are very unwilling to change their behavior.
In other terms, narcissists do not mean self-love. But instead, it is the love with an idealized image of themselves.
As they are very resistant to change, they usually blame others. They are sensitive to criticism and feuds. If you have a narcissist in your life, you can just go along to avoid rage.
However, by understanding more about them, you can easily spot a narcissist in your life. And protect yourself from their harm. And create better boundaries.
Narcissistic Personality Disorder Causes
As our personality develops with other mental health disorders, NPD cause is unknown.
Though, some say narcissist disorder is linked to;
Environment: Conflicts in a parent-child relationship with either too much adoration or too much criticism to the child.
Genetics: Narcissist disorder could also be an inherited characteristic.
Neurobiology: It’s the link between the brain and behavior and thinking.
Narcissistic Personality Disorder Symptoms and signs;
What are the 9 traits of a narcissist? People with narcissist disorder display clear signs and symptoms. According to studies, the nine narcissistic traits are;
1- Grandiose sense of self-importance:
Grandiosity is one of the main signs of narcissism. It is the sense of superiority. People with narcissism believe they are special or unique. And only special people can understand them.
They believe that they are too good for average things. And only want to associate with high-status people and things. Narcissists think they are better than everyone else. They always talk about their greatness and offers.
2- They live in a fantasy world that supports their delusions:
Reality does not support their grand image of themselves. So, narcissists live in their build-up fantasy made of magical thinking.
They create self-glorifying fantasies of power, success, and ideal love that make them feel in control and special. These fantasies protect them from feeling empty or ashamed.
3- In need of constant praise and admiration:
Narcissists need constant praising for their ego to feed on. So, they surround themselves with people who are willing to cater to their obsessive behavior.
These types of bonds are very one-sided. It’s always what the other person will do for the narcissist, and not the other way around.
4- Blames or uses others without guilt:
Narcissist people never understand the feelings of others. Often, they view people as objects that are just there to serve their needs.
They simply do not think about how their behavior is affecting others.
5- Belittles and bully others:
Narcissists feel insecure when they meet someone more confident and popular. And the only way to offset the threat is to belittle the other person and boost their ego.
6- Show arrogant behavior.
As narcissists are full of themselves, it is no wonder they show their arrogant behavior to others. They talk about themselves a lot. And mostly brag about their achievements and skills. And ignore those around them.
7- Envy of others, and believe that others are envious of them.
Narcissists' instinct is to get envious whenever someone is more confident or skilled than them. And as they live in a fantasy world, they always believe that others are envious of them.
This feeds their egos and they feel even more boastful.
8- Narcissists take advantage of others
They manipulate others to gain what they need. Such as control over others to get benefits or privileges for their own selves.
9- Sense of entitlement:
They believe other people should admire them and that they deserve credit and privileges for things they did not earn.
These are all the nine primary traits of a narcissist. Most often, narcissists use their narcissist quotes at their victim, such as, “you are a bad person” or “nobody else will ever love you". These are typically their most used phrases.
Am I a narcissist?
To know if you have a narcissistic personality disorder, you must understand its signs and symptoms and be diagnosed.
If you are a narcissist, then you may have all the symptoms and traits mentioned earlier. Though you may also struggle with other mental health conditions such as;
- Addiction
- Bipolar disorder
- Anxiety
- Depression
- Suicidal thoughts and behaviors
Narcissist test
They are many narcissist tests or quiz you could try to take online. They help you to identify any narcissist in your life.
It is important to recognize narcissistic personality disorder early on. And to avoid it turning into far more aggressive or suicidal.
Dealing with Narcissist
How to deal with a narcissist? You may encounter at least one or two narcissists in your life. Either it is your parent, boyfriend, or husband.
How to deal with a narcissistic mother
What is a narcissistic parent? When you are a child, you look up to your parents for love, support, and sympathy. Children must be heard and seen by their parents as they grow up.
It can be really hard and painful for a child to be neglected, but that’s what children go through who grow up with narcissistic mothers. Or narcissistic father.
To cope with a narcissistic mother, here are some things you can try;
- Make some space:
When she does not get what she wants and takes it out on you, do not be passive. Let her know that this way of dealing with her anger is not helpful. Be strategical, and plan.
- Be kind:
It may seem that she does not deserve any kindness, but recognize that she does need empathy and pity from you.
- Accept it and let go:
Try to accept her condition and that narcissism is who she is. It is not your fault. And remember that her words and actions mainly come from her problematic personality. And are false.
- Lean on to others such as friends or teachers for moral support.
The same coping mechanism goes for in how to deal with narcissistic parents. You can try to be compassionate. Though, if you ever feel like your mental health is at risk, it is vital to keep your distance altogether.
How to deal with a narcissistic husband
- Decide
The first thing you must know that may help you is that your husband isn’t going to change his behavior. Try not to count on your husband as you may grow frustrated. However, try to make decisions for both.
While it may not seem fair, it is sometimes required if you want to improve your relationship.
- Set clear boundaries
Setting boundaries in a relationship is healthy. And it becomes even more important in a relationship with a narcissist.
Your narcissist husband is likely to take control over everything you do. Hence, it is important to know where your boundaries need to be set to protect your mental health.
- Look for some ways to help your husband build his self-esteem.
Co-parenting with a narcissist could be very hard. You might feel that all the decision-making is on you. And your child is being neglected by his narcissist father.
Though, you must stay put. And ensure your child’s safety and health.
How to deal with a narcissistic boyfriend
- Do not trick yourself into thinking that he truly cares
- Set boundaries that you are happy with
- Do not share something personal, it will likely be used against you.
- Don’t start a debate, you are likely not to win.
- Accept who you are, even when he doesn’t.
Break up with a narcissist
You might question how to break up with a narcissist? As it could be very challenging to do so. Their ego could be inflated and they might lash out at you.
Narcissists need someone to abuse and handle to fulfill their needs. And to steadily approve themselves that they are better, stronger, and smarter than everyone else.
You will be tired, and it will drain you. But it is possible to trust your gut and keep reminding yourself why you need to walk away. Especially, if it is abuse.
Here’s what you need to know to make sure you are finally leaving the narcissist behind.
1- Do not give them one more chance.
If your narcissist partner is not ready for you to leave yet, they will probably do everything and plead with you. And tell you how sorry they are. But do not risk it. You might give them another chance to hurt you again.
2- Do not tell them you are leaving.
You do not want to tell them you are leaving them beforehand. This could lead them to trap you emotionally yet again.
3- Do not believe their flattery.
Narcissists tend to use extreme flattery when their partners are trying to leave them. But do not fall for it. You do have a choice. Remember things can be better. And you truly deserve someone who does not play with your emotions.
4- Reconnect with your loved ones.
It is important to have time and reconnect with your family and friends. They serve as moral support you might need in these times.
How to beat a narcissist or overcome a narcissist personality
Arguing with a narcissist is tough. And you might fail. Though, you should not just give up and give in to them.
Narcissists are to be easily abusive because they are emotional and lack empathy. So, they seriously take offenses and misjudge someone else’s point of view.
Breaking up with a narcissist is the easiest route you can take. But there may be some cases where they are always there. Such as your family member or colleague.
Some steps you can take to beat the narcissist;
1- Don’t start arguing about ‘right’ or ‘wrong’.
2- Try to empathize with their feelings.
3- Use the ‘we’ language.
4- Do not expect an apology.
5- Divert and ask about a topic that interests them.
6- Put yourself first.
Narcissistic personality disorder treatment
Treatment for a narcissistic personality disorder is mostly talking therapy. It can help you relate better to others. and understand the cause of your emotions.
You could try to;
- Accept and maintain real relationships with co-workers.
- Increase your ability to understand your feelings
- Tolerate the effect of the issues related to your self-esteem
- Accept your failures and focus on what you can accomplish.
Conclusion
Overall, a narcissist personality disorder is something so dreading that could exhaust you. it is a mental illness rather than a character.
As mentioned, there are clear signs and symptoms of a narcissist. And what you can do to deal with them.
Dealing with a narcissist and how to talk to a narcissist is hard. But always remember to never give in. it could be even more challenging if it’s your parents, husband, or boyfriend.
A narcissistic family, in general, leads to a corrupt society. But they too can be manageable. If you suspect anyone close to you inhibits narcissistic personality, talk to someone. And remember to keep a distance.