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Self-doubt: Anxiety makes us question ourselves. Once self-doubt creeps in, anxiety makes it grow and take over how we view ourselves.
Fear: A big part of anxiety is fear. Anxiety takes what is dear to you and makes you afraid of losing it.
Worries, what-ifs, and worst-case scenarios: These are closely related to fears. It puts thoughts of the worst-case scenarios in our minds, effectively trapping us.
Need for control: We don't want our fears to manifest. We hate being plagued by constant self-doubt. And we are weary of our worries. To get rid of them, we focus on them, trying very hard to control them.
Narayana Murthy was born on August 20, 1946, in Karnataka. He had to work hard to reach the position that he is in today. Narayana Murthy was academically brilliant in studies. He loved Physics and Mathematics. In addition, he wanted to gain more knowledge in these fields.
Later on, he went on to pursue a Bachelor's Degree in Electrical Engineering and a Masters Degree from IIT, Kanpur. Though he was born in a poor family, he always had high hopes to make it big in life. He opened a company called Softronics, which failed in the early stages.
Though he experienced failures, he never gave up on his dreams. In 1981, he, together with six other professionals, created a company called Infosys. Today, Narayana Murthy is listed as one of the greatest entrepreneurs of all time.
- Though he was born in a poor family, he always had high dreams.
- Persistence always pays off.
- It does not matter how many times you fail, but it's important to remember never to give up.
J K Rowling had a tough beginning but soon rose to fame due to her passion. Her story is one of the most popular success stories out there. When Rowling turned 25, in the year 1991, she lost her mother. This incident happened six months after she started writing the book.
Later she moved to Portugal and began teaching English. Soon she got married and gave birth to a daughter. After 13 months, she divorced him. By now, she had written three chapters of the book. By 1993, her situation became miserable. Being a single parent with no money in hands made it tough.
It took her 5 years to complete her first book. Then began her struggle to get the book published. Top 12 publishing companies turned down the book. Later on, Bloomsbury agreed to publish it. It became an instant hit among children. It also received the British Book Award for Children's Book of the year.
- Never let failures stop you. It is impossible to get everything in one go. You fail and learn. But never give up.
- Stay true to your dreams. In this case, her passion made her reach heights.
- Success won't come to you overnight.
The giant company Uber was born when it's found Travis Kalanick's could not find a cab to reach his conference in Paris. It was then it struck him a great idea to roll out cabs to lower costs. Previously, Travis had two failed ventures.
Hence, this was the reason investors weren't interested in his idea. However, as things progressed, Ubercab first launched in San Francisco. It was a great success instantly. After having tasted success in San Francisco, they decided to expand the business. They opened in other US cities and internationally. Today Uber has a net worth of USD 69 billion. It is also the most valued tech company in the world.
- Hold onto your dreams and wait for the right time.
- Not each person has a fixed time to achieve success.
- Your previous failures aren't a determinant of your success.
- Every person starts small.
“Money is not a motivating factor. My motivation comes from playing the game I love. If I wasn’t paid to be a professional footballer, I would willingly play for nothing”
– Lionel Messi
When you do things that you are passionate about, the money will never be your problem. It’s a practical lesson that we see. Those who are moving towards their goals and dreams will agree with this. They know how money is least of their problems while chasing their dream will matter the most.
What’s most important is that you should ‘like’ what you do. That itself is the only true motivation. If money motivates you, the soul in what you do dies. You can keep the true spirit up only when you play the game you love. Otherwise, everything you do will seem unconnected with you.
Let me ask you a question. Ever wondered about how you feel when you work on things that you love? It’s amazing, right? Working towards your goal is always incredible.
Making a DIY that you love will give more happiness to you instead of making presentations in your office. On the contrary, those who love to do office works will find other things less impressive.
The point here is, true motivation is not in money. Motivation comes from the things that you like. Of course, money is important. But, make sure you settle with a game that you enjoy playing on life’s grounds.
Things got even better when what you do becomes bankable. So, do what you like. That’s the only encouragement you will need!
“Hire Character. Train Skill”
– Peter Schultz
The two central entities for a positive life are your character and your skill. With good skills, you can knock the doors. But only with a good character, you can step inside, stay there and prosper. If you look around you can see this.
Good skill and a Moral character have always taken people to heights. A good life is guaranteed once you realize that your character is the main key. Plus, with good skills, you can secure yourself and walk confidently against life’s odds.
The character should complement your talent. Another thing I like to talk about here is the Skill part. Finding ‘what your skill is’ is different from ‘training’ your skill.
First, find it. Then, Train it. There will always be one thing that you will be good at. There will be one thing that you enjoy doing from your heart. That constitutes your skill. It can be anything. It could be your writing, your baking, your business, the work you do, a hobby of yours, etc.
Find it. Train it. Apart from all, Skill doesn’t always have to be something big like we see on TV or read in papers. Running your everyday life without hassle is a skill. Handling relationships at work and personal is an excellent skill. Leading your life against all difficulties is a skill too. In the end, remind yourself of this powerful one-liner.
“Bravery is not the absence of fear. Bravery is feeling the fear, the doubt, the insecurity, and deciding that something else is important”
- Mark Manson
Life is travel as we all have heard it. It’s true. You see flowers, thorns, greens, and stones in no particular order while traveling. Sometimes you walk, you run and sometimes you fall and you get hurt.
To walk further is secondary, but first, you need to get up. That is the bravery you need. This quote is a simple reminder to you about what constitutes bravery in real life. No fancy words, but it’s the practical truth. When you fall, you know deep inside that you need to get up and walk somehow. But, something’s stopping you from getting up.
It could be your fear, your loss, desperations, insecurities, embarrassments, and most importantly, self-doubt. We all have been through things in life. But still, here we are, living amidst all difficulties. This is a visible example of what bravery is from you, from me and everyone around us.
It takes some time to heal and to get back on track. Take that time. Spend that time in composing yourself and making peace with whatever happened. Start fresh as every day is a new chance. Open your mind and heart towards enhancing you physically and emotionally. In this way, you bring bravery. You see something else is important in life than all other stuff bothering you. That is when you get up and walk.
“If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present”
Take yourself a minute and think about how you feel now. Do you feel peace, a sense of comfort and content? Or do you feel restless about something? Or is your past haunting you emotionally?
If you are in a state of peace, you are doing well. It means you are taking things the right way. For those who feel nervous or depressed, let me ask you a question.
What good does worrying about the future do?
Can you see your problems solving themselves when you are depressed?
The answer to both the questions would be ‘No’. Recover from this duality of upsetting about the future and feeling dejected about the past. Instead, invest in your present. I can recognize you saying ‘it’s easier said than done’. But, let’s be clear.
What options do we have other than picking ourselves up! If you like to make a better future, start by taking care of your present. Start doing things that you like. Concentrate on things you want to achieve in life and work. Count your blessings.
Appreciating our present will help us recover from the bitter past we had. Make peace with your past. Stop worrying about what will happen in the future. Life is full of surprises and unexpected turns. The present is what you have in hand. Make it useful. As an end note, let me tell you an easy way, “Shape your present in such a way that it enhances you physically and mentally every day”.
“True Beauty is about who you are as a human being, your principles, and your moral compass”
- Ellen DeGeneres
Often we get into crossroads of what is actually right and what seems right from our side. In the same way, there’s a constant battle between ‘beauty gives confidence’ and ‘beauty is from the inside and not outside’. When all of it seems true, where do you draw the line?
This quote is a wonderful answer if you ask me. Let me discuss why this quote can be so impactful to you. Whatever your life situation might be, understand what is wrong and what is right and act accordingly.
Don’t let your moral compass down. If you do so, all your ivy-league education, the money, the looks and everything you have becomes meaningless. There’s no place for beauty when your mind and heart are against good moral compass.
Another thing that I feel most important is, if you keep succeeding as a human being, day by day, you become the most beautiful person. To succeed as a human being you don’t have to put in any hard efforts. Just Be who you are, Be Good and Do Good! That is enough.
Start building your life principles on the foundation of trust, honesty, respect, loyalty and being good to people around you. Remember, be good as a person, build your life principle’s right and set your moral compass straight. You are already beautiful the way you are, and as a little reminder, remember this quote.
People often look at success as the end goal. All the efforts and resources are directed towards succeeding. However, what happens when even after all the efforts and resources are utilized and yet success is not achieved?
In these cases, people feel disheartened. They feel like they have lost everything and there is nothing left to do now. However, this is not necessarily true. You can still grow if you are not successful.
Without failures, we would miss out on the lessons, insights, and opportunities to sharpen our skills. Often success is celebrated and failure is frowned upon. But in reality, they are two sides of the same coin. It is said that failure is a stepping stone to success.
It points out our mistakes so we can improve on our weaknesses. They make us more capable of becoming successful in our next attempt. And these are some skills that the only failure can teach us, not a success.
Failure is often said to be the best teacher. Failure teaches us things that success can not. Some of these include –
Failures give us insights about our past mistakes
When we fail, we are often presented with detailed insights about what went wrong. You have a detailed analytics report about what you did and how it affected you and your goal. These insights are actually very important. These insights form a strong foundation of knowledge. They help us understand where we went wrong and helps us to prevent repeating these mistakes.
When we can clearly see where we went wrong, it becomes easier to understand, manage and fix those mistakes in our next attempt. With every failure, we gain more awareness which helps us perform better the next time.
Failures develop in us the skill of resilience
Failure also teaches us to be resilient. This is the most important skill when it comes to achieving great things in life. A resilient person is someone who can stay strong in difficult times without giving up. A resilient person bounces back from failures and tries a more effective strategy for success. A resilient person is someone who learns from his or her failure and strives to do better when the next opportunity presents itself.
Only failures can truly teach us how to be resilient. They give us hard lessons through the necessary experiences. Failures teach us how to handle defeat without giving up. It teaches us how to start again.
Failure teaches us to pick ourselves back up when we fall. It teaches us how to start over from scratch. Failures provide us with the tools necessary to develop the skill of resilience.
Some people almost feel compelled to use social platforms even if has negative effects on their personal, social and psychological well-being.
This often impacts personality development negatively as people miss out on the opportunities to grow while trying to chase social media updates. People neglect what is present in front of them for the virtual world. This leads to a lack of social and general awareness border lining on absolute ignorance.
Sometimes, they get so obsessed with the likes and fame on social media that they go to extreme lengths to achieve social media popularity. In recent times, news all over the world is filled with instances where teenagers got into serious accidents trying to take a perfect selfie for social media.
Students often neglect to study for spending time on social media. This has serious consequences on their education. The addiction makes it difficult for them to balance the virtual world with reality. They lose the sense of time and fail to draw the line between what is present in real life and what appears on the screen.
This leads to a sharp dent in the individual’s personality making him or her mentally and physically weaker. They exhibit a lack of self-control and extremely poor social skills. They succumb to mental health disorders like anxiety, depression and obsessive-compulsive disorder.
This makes things further difficult for them which in turn affects their personality for the worse. They also drift apart from their friends and family and spend most of their time online. They start isolating themselves from the social world to create an online presence.
This stunts their social growth and adversely affects the development of a healthy personality.
One’s personality influences everything from the way you dress, the way you talk, the friends you make and the kind of life you live.
Define your core beliefs
Your core beliefs are the strongest foundations of what defines you. Everything you experience in life eventually comes down to your core beliefs. Your perspective on life and subsequent experiences stem from your core beliefs.
But how do you understand what your core beliefs are?
Basically, your core beliefs are what you believe about yourself and your life to be true. These are mostly intrinsic in nature. They are subjective meaning, they are dependent on your perspective and attitude.
Everyone has different core beliefs. Some of them may be similar but they are never exactly the same. Hence at the root level, every single person is different.
Your core beliefs are very strong and often motivate you to take certain actions.
When it comes to building a powerful personality, this motivation is also an integral part of the building bases of life. People with higher levels of motivation have a strong personality with defined goals for life. They tend to have an intrinsic drive to achieve things in life. They do not give up in times of difficulty and work-hard to gain substantial rewards throughout their life.
This is what others often see as a strong personality. They refer to such people as being a high achiever and look up to them. These people often go on to become famous public speakers, life coaches or business owners.
One of the key aspects of this personality building is to have strong core beliefs and understand how they motivate you. Once you are aware of these important facets of life, it becomes easy, almost automatic to develop a strong personality.
Once you read personal development books, it is also important to apply what you have learned in your daily life. But how can you apply those lessons in your life without remembering them? The first step is often the most important. That is remembering the content.
Take Notes of everything you learn through these books
One of the most effective ways of remembering what you have learned is to take notes. Taking notes is fairly simple yet so effective when it comes to applying lessons in everyday life. It does not require much time and saves a lot of effort in the future.
You can take notes online through note pad apps for the sake of convenience and easy accessibility. However, if you like the tactile feel of the process, you can opt for writing the notes by hand. This may require you to keep a notebook. The good part about having these notes written down is that written content is better remembered than what you have just read or typed. As writing is a slow process and also involves a lot of senses, the content becomes strongly fit into the memory.
Another advantage of the written content is accessibility and future reference. We can not always expect ourselves to remember all the lessons at the same time. We often lose important points after a certain period. The best way to prevent this from happening is to have everything written down somewhere so you can easily access it whenever required. All you have to do is open a notebook and you have all the information in one place.
You can also make an index to keep track of what is written and mention the page numbers to further increase the ease of access.
Read high-quality complex books and research papers
It is often said you are what you read. The better stuff you read, the more your mind grows to accommodate it. People who read complex books and research papers have significantly higher intellect than those who engage in easy reading.
However, if you have never attempted reading complex papers, do not start with heavy stuff as this may be difficult initially and discourage you from trying. Instead, start with the material that is one or two levels higher than your usual reading level.
If you are used to reading page-turners, start with something that is just slightly more complex. However, if you have strong experience of reading complex research papers, take it a few notches higher by reading deep, detailed analysis papers or philosophical content that takes a lot of time and effort to be understood.
Make friends with people who are more intelligent than you
Another helpful and effective way to boost your personal and social intellect is to make friends with people who are more intelligent than you. When you hang out with such people, you learn a lot of new things.
You are exposed to a lot of information that you did not know before. You start picking up on their knowledge and start becoming more intelligent yourself. You also start thinking like them which sets your thought process into motion towards developing your intellect. You become more aware of things and move closer to a better understanding of what is happening around you.
Intellect is not a permanent concept. It is fluid. It can be developed as well as diminished. Your intellect depends on your daily mental and physical engagement.
Read self-help books that promote personal development
Self-help books contain a large pool of helpful knowledge. These books are often written by experts in their respective fields. These contain helpful strategies aimed at helping you develop a good character and learn a better way of leading life.
Today, there are thousands of self-help books available in the market on almost every topic. There are well-written books on making friends, being more productive, being more creative, waking up early, becoming successful, etc.
Reading these books gives you all the knowledge at your fingertips. You can instantly access to hundreds of resources that experts have specially created for people looking to invest in personal development.
Take an online course on personal development
Best way to invest in personal development is to enroll in online courses that focus on personal development. Today, there are thousands of courses available that focus, especially on personal development. These classes are created to help you learn new strategies to aid in your personal growth.
These courses give you helpful instructions and guide you to make better choices regarding your lifestyle. They provide the essential information required to make positive changes in one’s life. These courses are available on every topic from lifestyle habits to productivity.
The best part about these courses is that they can often be adjusted according to your personal requirements. This adds to the convenience and helps in effective learning. Some of these courses are also free of cost, which makes it even easier to access and use them. They can one of the resources to invest in to promote your personal development exponentially.
Online courses and self-help books are the most treasured and effective resources for personal development.
Have a firm reason for your goals
Victor Frankl changed the whole scene of will power and determination through his book Man’s Search For Meaning. In this book, he wrote the famous quote – He who has a strong why can bear almost anyhow. This means that a person with a strong reason for doing something will have the determination to achieve his or her goals despite all the difficulties.
When you have a strong reason behind your goals, it propels you to maintain your resolve in the tough times and stops you from giving up too easily.
You can write down your why – that is your reason for doing what you do. You can use this as a reminder when you feel low or when you are about to quit. This will instantly boost your sense of determination and help you move forward and deal with the challenges.
Develop Intrinsic Motivation
Intrinsic motivation is much stronger than external motivation. Intrinsic motivation refers to the kind of motivation that comes from within you. This type of motivation originates from a strong internal reason to pursue the goal. An example of intrinsic motivation is the want that originates from the passion for an activity like writing or singing. On the other hand, external motivation is dependent on external factors. These create a powerful but temporary reason to do something. Examples of external motivation include deadlines or other factors that have negative consequences.
It has been proven time and again that people who are intrinsically motivated are more likely to work hard and push forward towards their goals than people who are externally motivated for minor rewards or avoiding painful consequences.
If you find yourself regularly obsessing over thoughts, here are some ways to stop overthinking.
1. Write down your thoughts
Writing down the thoughts that you are obsessing about helps you slow down the train of thought. The activity of writing down the obsessive thoughts gives you a place to put down the thoughts you are overthinking. This helps you understand what you are overthinking slowly.
Writing is slower than thinking. Hence when you begin writing down your thoughts, you eventually start decreasing the speed of overthinking. Over time, this helps you slow down your thoughts and consider them carefully instead of obsessively overthinking them.
2. Stay mindful of the present moment
Mindfulness is the key to peace of mind. Several teachers, leaders, psychotherapists, and scientists have repeatedly emphasized the importance of mindfulness.
Mindfulness is the ability to stay in the present moment. When we are overthinking, we are often thinking about past experiences, mistakes or reminiscing memories. On the other hand, we may also think about the future. When we are worrying about our future, it is easy to feel overwhelmed and overthink the future possibilities.
In both of these cases, mindfulness helps you to center yourself. It keeps you grounded in the present moment without overthinking the future or obsessing over the past.
Mindfulness helps you realize the significance of the present moment. With regular practice, you become more habituated to staying grounded in the present instead of overthinking about future possibilities or past mistakes.
Even though one can not completely stop thinking, overthinking can be moderated by implementing regular awareness of the thoughts, writing them down to maintain pace and practicing mindfulness. Both of these techniques have a strong potential to help you keep your mind free of the stress that occurs due to overthinking.
1. Take deep breathes in the 6 – 5 – 8 pattern.
Taking deep breaths is more powerful than most people realize. Deep breathes are one of the most relaxing ways to stop anxiety in its tracks. Taking deep breathes rejuvenates your body with fresh oxygen. This boosts your mental as well as physical health.
To take deep breathes, follow the pattern described by the breathing experts. This goes like: Inhale for 6 counts, hold for 5 counts and exhale for 8 counts. This is a scientific technique to relax the body and the mind.
Doing this regularly combats anxiety and makes you mentally strong.
2. Practice various relaxation techniques
Relaxation techniques are very effective for combating anxiety. Relaxation techniques induce a deep state of relaxation that counteracts the existing anxiety. The relaxation techniques include systematic muscle relaxation, breathe counts and meditative exercises. These should be practiced on a regular basis to put the mind and body in a state of relaxation.
One can not be both relaxed and anxious at the same time. Hence these techniques put the mind and body into such a stage of relaxation that it becomes physically impossible to be anxious at the same time. So every time you find yourself getting anxious, you can immediately use these techniques to relax.
3. Talk to someone you trust
Talking to someone about your anxiety is also helpful in dealing with it better. Sharing your troubles with friends or family can take the weight off your chest and help you feel relaxed. Once you find someone you trust, someone you can talk to without being judged, you can express all your worries and anxious thoughts to them. This helps you feel at ease. Having someone you can talk to also adds a feeling of support and comfort.
Find things that bring you joy
We spend a lot of time doing things that do not make them happy. Over time, they do not even know what truly makes them happy and find themselves living sad, unhappy lives. If you are looking to change this, start by finding things that bring you joy.
You can do this by making a list of things that make you happy. It can be anything from listening to music to hanging out with your friends and family. It has to be something that brings you joy.
Once you have made this list, you can refer to it any time you are feeling low. This can be your handy guide to add some joy to your life.
Do more of what makes you happy
Once you have a list of things that bring you joy, you can proceed to incorporate it into your routine to ensure you are allotting sufficient time to things that make you happy. You have to make sure that you are spending your maximum time on these things that bring you joy.
For example, if you notice that you are happy after a good workout session, try and incorporate at least one workout session daily. If that seems too unlikely, focus on adding a workout session to your day at least 4-5 times a week.
Once you start adding activities from your joy list to your routine, you will notice yourself finding more and more activities that make you happy.
Engage in enjoyable tasks
Some tasks are naturally enjoyable in nature. Activities like listening to music, working out or spending time with loved ones are known to boost happiness scientifically. You can use this knowledge to ensure your day contains a significant amount of these happiness boosting activities.
1. Find what is stressing you out
Once you are aware of the exact cause of your stress, it becomes easier to work on it. Take a look at what is causing you difficulty. It may be a particularly hard chapter, a tricky formula that you can not remember or a question that you are unable to answer.
It can also be a combination of all these factors. Once you become aware of these stressors, you can take active steps to lessen the stress.
2. Get help from classmates or teachers
If your doubts are stressing you out, it can be helpful to ask your classmates or teachers for help. You can make a list of all the questions that you find difficult and consult your classmates or teachers for answers. You can also request them to explain a difficult chapter for you. This can help you understand the subject better and learn the information efficiently.
You can also attend extra classes, tuitions or look up the necessary information online to help sort out the confusion and calm down the stress.
3. Take regular breaks
Taking regular breaks is very important. During exams, we often get busy studying all the information and taking notes. Studying for long hours at a stretch without taking breaks can cause stress, burnout, and exhaustion. To prevent this, take a break every 45-60 minutes to feel relaxed and regain your mental energy. This also helps in focusing on your studies with a fresh mind.
Exams might seem stressful but with the right management and good study techniques, you can easily overcome the stress and learn better. With these simple tips, you can combat your exam stress and score good marks.