Ah, first date! A big deal for you, isn’t it? If you are going on a first date with someone, then either you are feeling jittery or huge roller coasters inside. Some of you are going to feel excited, while the others will be feeling very nervous. The most common thing you will be nervous about is what to talk about?
Most of you had texted or are texting your friends for last-minute pointers, especially saying, “Dude help me. I don’t know what to talk about on a first date?”
That or you might be on google (which is supposedly the reason why you are here).
Whatever the reason is, you are confused about the questions you should or need to ask in your conversation for your first date.
First dates are all about the first impressions. So, naturally, you are going to be cautious and almost going to plan everything and are going to go through it over and over multiple times. It is also an experience for you to learn about your partners.
Since it is your first date, you obviously know next to nothing about them. But you also need to be careful not to overstep your boundaries or unknowingly hurt them with your inquiries or bore them out.
Oh, and the awkward silence that befalls on you both every so often during your time together. All this is going to be a huge roadblock to make your date not so memorable. (Or memorable in the most terrible way).
Sounds too complex and overwhelming? No need to worry because it isn’t both. And nothing a little thoughtfulness and research cannot fix.
Love is so unpredictable. Sometimes you'll know a man for years and then one day, boom! Suddenly you see him in a different way. And other times, it's that first date, that first moment. That's what makes it so great. - Sarah Dessen
First date questions
So, here is the list of questions you could ask on your first date to your rescue.
The Reason
Whether your date is experiencing for the first time going on a date or has been through this quite a few times. You should ask them what was the reason they were sitting with you for the date?
What exactly made them decide to go on this date? And what was the reason they had asked you out on a date?
Or it could be the reverse. If you were the one to ask them out, then you could be telling them the reason why you did so? It could be a nice ice-breaker between you both, especially when you or your partner are anxious and will give an open-end answer to move the conversation further.
A perfect date is probably something somewhere where you can kind of communicate and talk to the person. I don't like movies as first date. I don't think that's a good idea because you don't really get to talk to the person. I think taking a walk or just having one on one time with that person is the best. - Selena Gomez
Profession
It is another common thing to ask in a conversation, for starters, on your first date. (Or whenever you meet someone new.)
Ask them what sort of work they do?
Why did they opt for this work?
Do they love what they are doing?
And if they are thinking of changing their profession in the future?
All of these questions will let you know a bit about their perspective and thinking process.
Perfect first date would be coffee at Aroma talking for hours. That's when I would know to ask for a second date. - Kelly Blatz
Their Personal Life
Ask them about the people in their life.
Who is there in their family?
How many friends do they have?
To whom are the closest to, and why?
Who is their best friend?
Why are they friends with them?
Do they have siblings or cousins?
How is their relationship with them?
Have they been in a relationship before?
All of these questions will give you enough information about them as a person. It will also help you to analyze their personality, and how emotional or not emotional they are. Or what person matters to them and why?
The ultimate first date? Something that is completely out of the ordinary - go crazy, because first dates are always a little awkward, so do something a little extreme. - Gina Carano
Their Favorite Thing About Their Favorite Person
This question further elaborates the above question. You get to know what qualities they value in the relationship to keep it going and be strong. Also, you get to know the importance of it all in their life.
What makes them admire that person and bring a smile to their face? All of this will provide you with clues about what qualities they want and prefer in a partner. And if you possess or are capable of providing those qualities if you get in a relationship with them?
You don't want to seem too eager, too romantic - otherwise, it just looks a bit try-hard. But I do think that a first date should be intimate. So I'd choose a nice dinner somewhere cozy, not too crowded, with good wine. - Kit harington
Passion And Interest
This is an expected question to ask, even if common and might be overused. Still, it holds its importance.
It is a needed question to address in order to get an idea of what their person’s personality is. You get to know if their interests align with yours. It is more often favorable when two people in a relationship share common interests. And if not, do you think their interests are okay for you not to bother you?
Also, ask them about their passion.
What are they passionate about, and how important is it to follow that passion for them?
How far are they planning to go for it?
And is it going to bother you in the future?
It's the most annoying question and they just can't help asking you. You'll be asked it at family gatherings, weddings, and on first dates. And you'll ask yourself far too often. It's the question that has no good answer. It's the question that when people stop asking it, you'll feel even worse. - WHY ARE YOU SINGLE? - Liz Tuccillo
Pet Peeves
Pet Peeves are those things that absolutely tick a person off, and they hate. For example, some people’s pet peeve is loud chewing noises, and some hate slow walking; others will hate texting while talking to someone, so on and so forth.
ASk this question to know their pet peeve. But direct this to specifically know what habit or trait will tick them off in respect to their partners.
There are instances where the people are alright with a habit when it is in someone they are not close to or do not care much about. But they absolutely hate it when their partner possesses the same habit or trait.
There is no golden rule of dating, except to make sure that it engages both of you; too many people go to a cinema for a first date and of course don't say a word, that's a bad thing! - Steven Hill
Their Activities
Ask them how they spend their usual day?
Apart from work, what do they do daily?
And how do they manage their other responsibilities?
Also, ask them what their weekends usually look like?
Do they like to spend the weekends at home or go out?
What do they do at home?
What do they do if they like to go out on weekends?
Do they spend their night out during these days?
Through this question, you are going to get more insights into their personality. It will also tell you if they are more fun or boring.
If Are they lazy or not?
Or if they are responsible?
You are going to get so much clarity about them and you both by knowing this.
I think people are having less of an investment in relationships. It used to be that you meet someone, you go on four or five dates and you gradually get to know them and trust them at the same time, and you learn a little bit about them. Now, it could be one date - maybe even before that first date - you go on Facebook have all the information. - Ashton Kutcher
Pets
This may sound like something not so important to know or ask, but this question is definitely more weighted than one can think.
This point can be an immediate buzzkill and a straight no if you both have contrasting opinions or likes about this. They love to have pets at home and can absolutely not do without. But you don’t like them or might be allergic to animals. What are you going to do then?
I love a man with a great sense of humor and who is intelligent - a man who has a great smile. He has to make me laugh. I like a man who is very ambitious and driven and who has a good heart and makes me feel safe. I like a man who is very strong and independent and confident - that is very sexy - but at the same time, he's very kind to people. Nicole Scherzinger
Their Roots
You can ask them where they belong from?
Where you currently are residing, is that place their home?
If yes, then how long have they been there?
If not, then when do they decide to move there?
What made them move to the place?
By asking this, you will get to know a bit about their roots and the culture they belong to. It will make it easier for you to adjust in case of the future.
If they have moved there from someplace else, then the reason can also be an insight about them. The reason always would be something solid for a person to move places.
Relationships in general make people a bit nervous. It's about trust. Do I trust you enough to go there? Neil LaBute
The Most Important Thing For Them
Whether it is a place, thing, person, or values, everybody has something that is very important and dear to them. Something that is too important for them to let go or adjust for. You need to know those important parts of their life.
Again, by doing so, you will get to have an idea or a rough sketch of their personality, nature, and character. You will begin to know how compatible that person is with you.
Their Idol
Almost everybody has a person in their life that they look up to and admire. It could be a celebrity or a person they personally know.
Ask them what makes them their idol.
Why do they admire them?
Are they influenced by them?
What are the qualities that they like about them?
This will again give you an insight into the way they think and what they hold important and admirable in a person. And to what extent the person has influenced them and how important they are in your date’s life.
Food Preferences
This is another thing you could ask them.
Do they identify themselves as a foodie?
What sort of food do they like?
How many cousins have they tried?
Are they following a diet?
This will make a good conversation starter and come easily when meeting them in a cafe or a restaurant. Besides, this may seem insignificant to know, but it will come in handy in the future.
Their Childhood
One of the less asked questions on a first date is about their childhood. People think it is too much to ask on a first date. But it is not. At least not as much as you think. If they do not want to answer, then they will say so, but it won’t be too rude or invading someone’s privacy.
It is less personal than asking them if they are close to their family. It will also give them more of an invitation to tell you about their childhood stories. Also, it will serve as a great conversation starter since it will help you pour in about your own childhood days.
What They Like To Watch
Again this is a great option to go with. This will provide you with ample open-end answers and let you continue without the conversation dying and things getting awkward.
Plus, you might find out how much you both have in common (or uncommon) through this conversation.
Their Goals
This will also serve greatly to keep the conversation going. This will also make you get to know them with respect to their dreams and achievements.
Moreover, you can also see to it if their goals can align with you in the future. And who knows, if not a potential partner for your life, you may get a potential business partner.
Their Worst Date
This question will only come when you are having a great time with them and are getting comfortable. Once you ask them about their worst date, you can get to compare their experience with what you are experiencing right now.
Also, they too get to make a subconscious comparison between you and the date they have been. And you get to listen to an interesting story about their worst date escapades.
The Type Of Vacation They Like To Take
People usually ask where they have been on vacation. Although it is not bad to ask, it will not provide you with much of an open end to keep the conversation going.
So tackling that, twist the answer a bit and ask them what kind of vacations they like to take? Like, if they like to go on a vacation because they seek some alone time or relaxation. Or they like to take vacations in order to go seek an adventure and explore more.
Conclusion
First dates are always memorable. But the nerves we feel prevent us from enjoying them almost every time. First dates are not rocket science and can be a fun and a learning experience simultaneously.
If we do it right, then we can enjoy it to our utmost. We just need to find the balance between making it informative and also keeping it fun and enjoyable.
If you have a sense of humor, then please make sure to use it now and then; just don’t make it offensive. This will earn you a bonus point in your date’s mind. Hopefully, this list of questions above will be helpful to make the most of your first date.