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Developing Emotional intelligence helps you handle life situations in a better way. It applies to each walk of your life, including your education, work, personal, business, and socializing. Emotional intelligence is impactful. It makes you a better person every day. It helps you build good relations, emotional stability, and confidence that eventually solve almost all your problems. I have shed some light on emotional intelligence.
1. Set goals and work for them:
Write your goals. Even if it is a short term goal, write it down. Have a vision board and stick things that you like to achieve. It gives motivation to you. Setting goals and working for them is also a form of emotional intelligence.
2. Follow your passion:
Following your passion can bring positive outcomes to you emotionally and mentally. Your passion brings happiness and self-contentment.
3. Live life to your best:
Live life to your fullest with friends and loved ones. Life is a balance of positives and negatives. Do not worry when things are not going your way. Time heals everything. Time changes everything. Life is filled with blessings. Look around. Live it to the fullest.
4. Good Times and Bad Times are part of life:
This point is a key step towards improving your emotional intelligence. Good and bad are part of life. This stability and understanding are essential to take your life in a balanced way.
In practice, time and experience will shape your emotional intelligence. Over time you will learn life lessons, which in turn build a great level of emotional intelligence. Emotional intelligence takes time so give it. Meanwhile, start implementing little changes that can improve your emotional intelligence.
“A Determined Spirit is Unstoppable.”
- Lailah Gifty Akita
Inventions and discoveries are the results of determined efforts. Lifesaving technologies that we see today are results of determined efforts by someone. Achievers whom we see in front of us are highly determined and strong-willed individuals. The fact is, a determined spirit is unstoppable. Throw them any obstacle, and they keep pushing it aside. They keep going.
People who are determined know how focused they can get in finishing a task. Energy and efforts will never be wasted when there’s a strong determination. And, Determination is not being stubborn. It’s a strong positive resolve towards following your dreams.
Determination is not just for the big things in life. For instance, take our daily. Consider ‘waking up early, ‘to be productive, ‘to make healthy food choices’ and everything related to your wellness. It all needs some kind of determination to practice every day. We can see people who pursue what they like even when the world around them disagrees with it. They do it because they are determined. The point here is, a determined spirit never fails and never stops. With a clear goal in hand, people become determined to achieve it.
Is determination only about achieving goals? The answer is ‘No’. Determination is in everything. To be productive, to be polite, to help, to support are a few ways of determination that people have. Determination is good. Make sure it doesn’t cross the line and becomes an obsession. The determined spirit will need more positivity. Determination in life mends success and achievement.
“Treat everyone with politeness and kindness, not because they are nice, but because you are.”
- Roy T Bennett, The Light in the Heart
We remember people we meet in the walks of our life for two reasons. Either they were good to us or they were bad to us. In the long run of life, we ignore or forget the bad ones. But, we will never forget the ones who did us good. Likewise, we will never forget the ones who made us feel good. Just a random act of kindness from a stranger could last a lifetime. It invokes wonderful memories and positivity every time we think about it.
A world-class achiever can just go down to the ground within a matter of one act of impoliteness. People who treat their fellow people with politeness and kindness prevail in time. You don’t have to be remembered for success, money, social status and other premium privileges. Be remembered for your good. That’s what matters the most. Everything else falls in line when you treat people with respect, politeness, and kindness.
Another thing about life is, People always remember how you treat them. One simple act of kindness that you could do can change a person’s life. Always treat people well. It doesn’t matter whether they deserve it or not, you treat them well. It shows your character.
It hurts when someone treats us impolitely. Let’s not give it back. Let’s not make people feel how we once felt due to impoliteness. Therein lays our character. Let’s treat people with respect, kindness, and politeness not because they are nice people. Let’s do it because we are nice people.
“I have never in my life learned anything from any man who agreed with me.”
- Dudley Field Malone
Life is not about surrounding yourself with people who agree with you all the time. You never learn if folks around you keep harmonizing with whatever you do. You need to have people who can stand up to you when you do wrong. Only you can make this possible.
First, make yourself approachable. It helps people around you to express what they feel. It’s easy to gain genuine views of what’s going on around you.
Second, listen. Listen when people say you are wrong. Listen when people don’t agree with you. It’s a healthy space to learn what’s happening. Genuine people will not hesitate to point the mistakes when you listen. They don’t sugar-coat or brown-nose. It gives a space for you to overcome the mistakes further. Same way, while arguing, you can get to know what’s good on the other side that you couldn’t see. If people keep agreeing with you all the time, have care. Either they want you down or they are afraid of you.
Good Learning in life becomes meaningless when people agree with everything you do or say. There’s nothing much left to learn when you think you are right all the time. Don’t be.
You need to be challenged by the people around you. It’s important to have healthy conversations and arguments to learn about different perspectives. You never gain anything in life when all you have is people who say “Yes” to you all the time.
“Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that but, the really great make you feel that you too, can become great.”
- Mark Twain
It’s a wonderful quote to live by. Let go of all the negative people in your life. At least, make sure they don’t influence you in any way possible. You can see a big difference in your life. The next ones to eventually avoid in life are those who keep belittling you.
The act of Demeaning people is a bad personality trait. It’s better to say nothing than say something demeaning or belittling. People who belittle other’s ambition, dreams, characters, and goals forget one thing. Their behavior is affecting people mentally to a big extent. That too, the ones who have difficulty in handling emotions will find belittling to be a great personal defect. It becomes hard for them to come out of it. To come out of this influence and achieve the dreams that you had is a big success.
Our life is filled with good and bad people. Especially, the ones who demean others are often found in all spaces of our life. Be it professional or personal life, small people like them are unavoidable. Be with people who value your dreams and goals. Great people will support you; encourage you to do more instead of demeaning. Be with people who make you feel great. Surround yourself with people who lift others as they lift themselves.
“Challenges are what makes life interesting and overcoming them is what makes life meaningful.”
- Joshua. J. Marine
When asked how they want their life to be, the answer would be happy and peaceful including me. Is that it? Just a happy life is sufficient? Well, not really. Life also feels the same way. Life hits us with bricks and throws us puzzles when we least expect it. Life without challenges is kind of boring don’t you think!
Straight lines are not as exciting as curved artistic lines. Life is the same too. You need challenges in life. A difficult and challenging time in life has made people realize their true potential. We know how beautiful a diamond is right? In reality, it’s just a piece of carbon that survived under heavy pressure. We are like that too.
Every challenge we face and every difficulty we go through is what makes us strong and interesting. When faced with a challenge, our mind works like never before. It keeps looking for solutions and ideas to overcome the challenge.
Clarity comes concerning what’s good, & what’s bad. Same way, separating ‘right from wrong’, ‘need and want’ becomes clear when you are going through challenges and difficulties in life. When you overcome your challenges, you get a sense of content that no money and success can bring you. Overcoming difficulties will bring a self-trust and self-confidence.
Accept what life throws even it is unacceptable. Take it as a challenge. I know it’s easier said than done. But, when you overcome it, you can see how interesting & meaningful your life can be.
“Defeat is not bitter unless you swallow it.”
- Joe Clark
Don’t take your defeats personally. Don’t swallow it. Take the lesson, learn the mistakes, and let it go. Your Defeat will only look like experience now. Else, if you take your defeat personally, your ‘will’ breaks down completely. Taking Defeats to the core has made many people pull off from their dreams. People don’t realize that success could be just one step ahead after all these failures and defeats. I also understand how defeats could be. It’s hard to overcome. The next thing to do will be unclear. That’s why the defeat tastes bitter unless you don’t swallow it.
Have you analyzed how taking defeats personally have hindered you in multiple ways? It will break your will. You could feel like every eye is on you. Ideas of ‘what went wrong,’ ‘where did I lose it’ will not be on your mind. Instead, it brings the feeling of fear, embarrassment, and guilt.
Most importantly, the efforts you made so far will not come to your thoughts. Only the failures will be on the mind. Step away from it. Take some time to recover from the defeat you had in life. Understand that the time you take should reflect on what went wrong. Not in taking your failures to your core.
Everything depends upon how you take it in life. Consider your failures and defeats as just another stepping stone, and keep going. You are very near to success. On the contrary, if you take defeats personally, it will feel like forever to get out. Don’t take your defeats. But, take your time to get in terms with it.
“The difference between a successful person and others is not a lack of strength not a lack of knowledge but rather a lack of will.”
- Vince Lombardi
Take every book that you know that talks about successful people. Read every story that you could gather about achievers and performers.
What do you see?
Not all are genius. But still, there is one thing common in every story and every book. It is their ‘Strong Will’. They keep their ‘Will’ up with whatever it takes and never let it down. With every test, they made their will stronger than ever. This is the key to success in everything.
The quote here is a wonderful detail about success and motivation for us. Don’t worry about knowledge or genius levels. Success takes more than that. True success comes with a strong will. If you have a strong will towards achieving your dreams and following your passion, nothing can stop you.
Questions like ‘Why everyone couldn’t achieve success?’, ‘Where people lag?’ comes. Lack of will is where people struggle to get up and do things. Moreover, success has a different scale for everyone.
In the end, if we do what makes us happy, it’s a big success. Whatever you feel like a success, it only needs determination and will to get. Unless there is a strong will, every attempt to get up after you fail will be absent.
Even to bring a simple lifestyle change and healthy habit, you need the will to do it every day. Imagine the level of willpower it takes to achieve huge success.
Successful people have a strong will. With others, the difference is the lack of will. Don’t let your will down amidst what life throws at you.
“Luck is the dividend of sweat. The more you sweat, the luckier you get.”
- Ray Kroc
Luck favors efforts. Luck favors the brave. Looking for luck or waiting for luck will take forever. Instead, if you take a step forward in life with all your efforts, you will know what you need. There is one undeniable fact though. The harder you work the more luck you seem to have. Maybe there is a thing called luck. But how far can it take us is a big question.
Let’s think about it this way.
Imagine there’s a door. It opens to a ‘good life & successful life’. Some people walk to get to the door. Let’s say people who believe in luck could think that they got to the door quickly. But, the buck stops there. To open the doorknob, you need to give your effort. Luck’s not going to do it for you. Life is the same. To unlock life, you need to bring hard work and the best of your efforts.
You need your efforts to walk past the door. Hard work and efforts will pave the way inside the door. As the quote says, the more you sweat the luckier you get. This luck stays with you for on and on. Also, if we see, the ones who are brave enough to pursue their dreams get luckier in every step they take. No offense to luck. But, true luck seems to be a product of sweat and effort. Finally, you know what; Luck often disguises itself in your hard work. Think. You’ll realize this for a fact.
“When I hear somebody sigh, ‘Life is hard’, I am always tempted to ask, ‘Compared to what?’.
- Sydney Harris
If you think you are the one with problems, you better think again. Everyone you see has their battles to face every single day. Take a step back and see for yourself.
You’ll know that people who are less fortunate than you are more here. Problems that we only thought could happen in a movie plot, could have already happened to someone. We tend to blame life for many things happening around us and for us.
In reality, we keep forgetting that every good and bad start from us. It becomes easy to blame life and say it’s hard. When it comes to the question of ‘compared to what?’ there’s a pause from us. Life is not as hard as we think.
When compared to troubles people face to make their ends meet for the day, life is not hard for us. When compared to those who have challenges to face physically, life is not hard on us. From rags to riches, life treats us all the same. Life gives ups and downs.
The challenge it throws us can make and break us. Those who have nothing are happy and those who have everything are unhappy. Successful people today were all broken by life yesterday. Yet, they are here inspiring people around them.
If all those achievers thought ‘Life’s hard’, they wouldn’t be where they are now. Life’s not a bed of roses. Same time, life is not a bed of stones too.
“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the one’s you did do, so throw off the bowlines, sail away from safe harbor, catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore, Dream, Discover.”
If you don’t do things that you like, or if you don’t pursue what your heart says, you will feel incomplete. The regret you will bring to yourself could be huge. Don’t allow for it. Rather than thinking about what you did, your mind will keep thinking about ‘I wish I could have done it’.
If you have a dream, don’t hesitate to take the first step towards it. Sometimes, we will not be in a luxury to pursue. Obligations and commitments are realities standing before us. Taking care of them will be our priority. But, to balance and overcome everything to pursue what you dream is a great thing.
Indeed, it’s a life’s biggest deal if you ask me. Not just dreams. Starting from conveying ‘sorry’, ‘appreciations’, ‘thanks’ to people, we tend to go in a hurry forgetting it. When we sit back relaxed, our time could have been lost already. Thoughts of ‘I wish I could have spoken earlier’, ‘I wish I could have apologized earlier’, ‘I wish I have taken the risk’ brings more regret and disappointment to us.
For some people, the hesitation of ‘what if everything goes wrong’, ‘what if it fails’ stops them. Let me say a word. If there’s one thing that you don’t want to have in life, it is the ‘Regret’. Don’t end up feeling disappointed about things you didn’t do or could have done. It is better to face failures, risks, and challenges instead of regretting doing nothing.
1. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger
If life’s trouble hasn’t killed your morale & spirits, it means it has made you stronger. Things that don’t kill your passion, efforts, goodwill, and spirit inside you will only make you stronger.
2. Look for a Silver-Lining
It is good in every bad. Look for a silver lining. Only in that way, you bring inspiration and hope. You can get up from all the troubles surrounding you. Take the positive side. Appreciate what’s left of life. Practice gratitude.
3. Go with the flow
Sometime life will be like ‘Sit and watch what I do. I have surprises for you. Your plan for me will not always go as you expect’. Go with the flow. Go where life takes you. Often, it is always to your happy place. At times, it will be a good lesson for us to learn in life.
4. This Too Shall Pass
How were you two years back? And how are you today? Things that troubled you before will now seem like a little pebble on your way. Sufferings will be long gone. The lessons you learned would have made you a better person now. So everything passes.
5. Forgive. Don’t Forget
Don’t forget the lessons that people taught you. Anyhow, forgive them. Life runs smoothly when you forgive people and don’t forget the lessons.
1. Situations change quickly
We probably hear this lot. But here it is one more time. “Life is a circle”. Winners can lose. Losers can take their win. In the same way, life’s situations change quickly. Not everyone stays unhappy all the time. Not everyone stays happy all the time. On the other hand, life’ situations also change people. It can be for good or for bad. This life lesson is right in front of your eyes.
2. Time heals wounds
At the time of suffering and challenges, life can seem like a ruin. After a year, you will wonder about ‘I can’t believe I crossed this phase of life’. Time heals everything. Time changes everything.
3. My opinion of yours is not your concern
We can differentiate if it’s a genuine opinion or something given purposefully. Take the genuine opinions into consideration. Even then, do what feels right to you. My negative opinion about you should not be your concern. Learn to grow above such things.
4. Ignore the Haters
There’s nothing much you can do with them. They will do what they want to do regardless of people’s feelings and situations. Giving importance to such people takes a lot of your time and emotional wellness away. Learn the lesson to ‘ignore the haters’ before it’s late.
5. Identify true people in your life
Sometimes good people will be right under our nose. We fail to see them. The biggest life lesson I like to share here is, ‘Don’t be too late in identifying true people in your life’. People are right in front of you every day. Adjust your vision and see who does ‘good’ to you and ‘bad’ to you.
1. Sufferings will lead to strength in character
If it wasn’t for our life’s challenges and troubles, we all would be living in a fancy bubble. You will learn life only after troubles and sufferings. It’s a tough time, and I understand. But, every individual shines bright after the sufferings in life. It teaches them important lessons. Take the challenging times in life to self-reflect. Get inspired to do more. Bring the will to get back on track.
2. The world is bigger than your problems
Look at people who are unfortunate than yourself. See people who struggle in life and still walk with a smile. Observe people who are so much positive and hopeful amidst all life’s sufferings. The world is bigger than your problems. Understand it as soon as you can. Stop worrying. Start living.
3. Enmity is a total waste of time
Enmity and hatred is a form of self-punishment. The feeling of hatred infuriates you instead of subsiding you emotionally. It alters your health, your overall wellness, your progress, etc. What do you want in life? Is it Progress or Hatred? Choose wisely. Divert your time and energy to your betterment and not for growing enmity. Don’t learn this life lesson that’s in front of you too late.
4. Don’t take everything personally
Not everything is pointing you or directed towards you. Relax. Stop taking everything personally. Taking everything personally brings more restlessness. You won’t have a piece of mind.
5. Miracles do happen in a way
Miracles come through faith, hope, and positivity. Don’t lose it. Take them every day with you, and miracles will happen.
1. Material things don’t matter that much
Money, Luxury and other finer things can never make your soul happy. Material things are only to a certain extent in life. They are made only to make your life easier and nothing else. Don’t spend your life on it. Spend it for people.
2. Facing the Truth
Somehow you have to face reality and the truth. Most of us are afraid to face this true reality. As a result, we only bring troubles and not solutions. Remember, only by facing your truth you can make life healthier. Don’t hide from the truth. The time we learn this lesson, it could be too late. Set aside the fear and always face the truth.
3. Fear of embarrassments and criticisms are stopping you
If you look back, you will understand one thing. By yielding to other’s criticism and embarrassments, you stop yourself. Other’s approval, criticisms, judgments, and opinions should not hinder you. Unless it is positive and genuine, you can take it. Avoid otherwise. If you keep responding to every criticism thrown at you, you stop walking forward in life.
4. Don’t compare
You and I have a different pace in life. If you start comparing your life with others, you will never feel good life. If you appreciate your own life, you fill it with positivity and inspiration.
5. Do what you feel is right
It’s okay to get advice and opinions from people around you. Observing what’s happening around you is also good. In the end, do what you feel is right. Don’t do what others say is right. Yielding to peer-pressure will put you down. It’s never too late to learn this life lesson.
1. You need to Live and Let Live
I got my life to battle. You got your own life to battle. It’s an everyday event. Let it be as such. Live and let live.
2. Take the next small step that you can
It’s a life lesson that’s right in front of us but we learn it late. Been through so much in life? Don’t know what to do? Take the next step that you can. Calling your friend, eating your favorite food, going out for a walk, stepping out, working out and everything is a small step. Take it! And, with the small steps slowly walk.
3. Realizing the importance of people around you
You and I often tend to forget how important the people around us are. They make our life run smoother every day. Your friends and family take care of you. It’s neither money nor anything else. Let’s start realizing how important they are to us. Let’s appreciate little things people do for us. It’s right in front of us. We have to see it sooner and cherish it.
4. Regrets and Guilt’s are blocking you
It becomes hard to see the right thing when you are filled with guilt and regret. They both hinder your emotional wellness. Take care of it. Move past your life’s regrets and guilt’s but don’t forget the lessons it gave. Come out of your regrets and guilts as soon as you can.
5. Little things you do impact your tomorrow
Including healthy food choices, little things you do today has a big impact on your tomorrow. Starting your exercises today impacts a healthier tomorrow. Saving a little amount of money can help tomorrow. Little things you start today in faith will help you tomorrow.
The reality here is life always caught us off-guard. It throws unexpected twists and turns in every turn-over. It becomes difficult to anticipate what’s going to happen. Which is why we tend to learn lessons late.
Furthermore, there are reasons and lessons we learn from the people around us too. The dos and don’ts of life can be learned easily from someone who’s going astray. You don’t need a separate lesson here. Constructive life lessons can be learned early. But, practical and self-realizing life lessons are often too late when we learn. That’s how you make yourself stronger. What’s important is that we should learn our life lessons. It doesn’t matter if it’s late.
1. You need to Live and Let Live
2. Take the next small step that you can
3. Realizing the importance of people around you
4. Regrets and Guilt’s are blocking you
5. Little things you do impact your tomorrow
6. Material things don’t matter that much
7. Facing the Truth
8. Fear of embarrassments and criticisms are stopping you
9. Don’t compare
10. Do what you feel is right
11. Sufferings will lead to strength in character
12. The world is bigger than your problems
13. Enmity is a total waste of time
14. Don’t take everything personally
15. Miracles do happen in a way
16. Situations change quickly
17. Time heals wounds
18. My opinion of yours is not your concern
19. Ignore the Haters
20. Identify true people in your life
21. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger
22. Look for a Silver-Lining
23. Go with the flow
24. This Too Shall Pass
25. Forgive. Don’t Forget
Let’s see some of the practical life lessons that we learn too late in life via this post. I hope you’ll agree with me for the most part.
1. Anger is a Misery
Don’t stay Mad for long. Anger is a big misery you are causing yourself. With anger, you are deteriorating your character, health, and your goodwill. Don’t hold on to anger. Let go at some point. It’s the biggest life lesson that you should learn before it’s too late.
2. Being Happy is up to you
If you chose to be happy, you tend to look at things positively. Make yourself happy. Equally, try to make people around you feel happy. Your happiness is not in other’s hands. We often learn it late in life. We wait for other things to make us happy. Choosing happiness is up to you in the end.
3. It’s never too late.
A Dream has no expiration date. Take your first step towards things you wish to do in life. It’s never too late to start doing what you like and love.
1. Work for Passion.
It brings more happiness than working for Money. Working for things you like will make you feel complete. Don’t settle for financial security. Sometimes you have to take risks in pursuing what you like. It gives a sense of fulfillment to you. Before it’s late, start working on things you like.
2. What you give comes back
Everything you give comes back to you in life. No one can escape from it. Life will make sure you get what you give. Spread positivity. Be good. Do Good. There’s no escaping when it comes to meeting consequences. Don’t forget this lesson.
3. Things will not always go as planned
That’s how life is. Unexpected deeds could soar high while a well-thought-out plan could go bad. Embrace this reality. Don’t worry if things didn’t work out as you expected or planned. Take it as an experience.
4. Physical Appearance is No guarantee for success
Needless to explain, we know what it means. Physical appearance is no guarantee of success. Success takes more than that. Look around! Successful persons and achievers never credited their success to how beautiful they were. Their hard work, passion, and efforts are what made them.
1. You don’t have to win every argument
By winning your argument what are you trying to prove? People already know what's right, and wrong. Yet, they do what they do. They say what they say. So, next time, don’t try to prove yourself. Stop trying to win every argument you have. You can let go. It only brings people to you. If you are stubborn and stand by your argument, you can easily drop people and their trust.
2. Save it when you can. You need some money for you.
Money can’t buy happiness. But, it definitely can make your life easier. Besides taking care of your life’s commitments, you should save some money on your own. Even if it’s little, you save it. It will help you.
3. Be selfish when it comes to forgiving. Do it for your good.
Forgiveness is an important lesson. Only the strong can do it. People often learn it too late in life. To make your mind and heart stay peaceful, forgive them. Forgive people who did you bad. Try it. It’s not easy. But, be selfish in it at least to stay in peace. Forgive to make your life a better place.
4. Stop seeking validation, approval, and acceptance
Not everyone likes you. Not everyone hates you. Be who you are. Those who know you will stay with you. Others who mistake, or misjudge you, will understand eventually at some point. Till then, stop looking for acceptance and validation. Don’t spend the time in pleasing people. It will make you feel incomplete. Other’s approval of you is unnecessary. don’t learn it too late.
1. Every day is a chance to change ourselves for the good and the better
We wait for time to make things better. At times, we incline to wait for the perfect moment to express ourselves. Well, there’s no such thing as perfect timing. If you want to apologize, do it immediately. Admired someone’s work, then, praise them immediately. If you like to express yourself, speak up. People regretted losing many chances in life to make things right. Don’t be such a person. Every day is a new day and a new chance to be good and to be better.
2. Betrayals are wonderful life lessons
Betrayals are brutal teachers. There’s no scale of small or big. Every betrayal hurts. But, imagine what would it be when people keep on manipulating you. Things can get worse. It’s better to embrace betrayal than allow yourself to get worked. It’s okay. Let it go. Learn from your betrayals. Even if it’s late, it’s good.
3. People are for themselves in the end
At the end of the day, you will be for yourself. They will be for themselves. Don’t worry when people don’t put you first as you expect. Everyone has their battle to fight for. We cannot blame people for taking care of their stuff first and later, come to you. Learn this practical life lesson quickly. Else, you feel hurt easily even if the thing is unintentionally done. It’s hard finding people who put others before themselves. If you find them, cherish them.